Childs behaviour ( stepson )

[Leighajcleary20]

Hi all ,
So I live with my partner my stepson and newly born 7month old , since I moved in with my family I've had no end of problems with the 7 year old , from kicking in the privates for months on end , urinating on my back , and throwing tantrums constantly , he really is becoming to much for me and I have said I can't take this anymore , I've tried and tried and he still shows no respect to either his mum or me , I'm worried because I've said to mum that I can't be bullied anymore , he constantly hurts me or someone else , his aggression is uncontrollable his manners are non existent I just contacted a local council to get help for me to deal with this but I can't see anything changing anytime soon, his mum is so oblivious to it all and seems like she won't face these problems with me I need help thanks

What does you DP say or do about his behaviour?

What's dp ?

If your referring to a doctors practice then nothing , I've been trying for months but his mum keeps putting it all off , his attention span is really low, constantly moving about being rude I just can't take it anymore

Any advice people I'm really needing it

DP = dear partner.

Nothing really , I've sat down spoke about my concerns and still it's like she won't face the Drs about him , I've suggested adhd as all the symptoms are there too

Your stepson is peeing on your back and your partner doesn't think it's an issue?

What does she say about it?

Everyone seems to laugh it off but I don't see the funny side , I've tried to enforce things at home just doesn't work, she would shout don't you do that at him and that's it , she blames me most of the time with the way I react but how else do you react when really I'm being abused by a 7 year old

Blimey, that sounds really tough. Two things stand out for me:

1. You and your partner need to be working together on this. If she doesn't see that there's a problem, you need to calmly tell her what's happening, and the impact on YOU. There's really no other way - you can't fix this by yourself.

1. Together, you need to figure out why he's behaving this way. It might as you suggest be a medical issue (although perhaps best not to second guess what) or it might 'just' be behavioural. Blending families is hard for everyone - parents and children. Perhaps a parenting course would at least give you both some ideas about what's likely to work/not work. A chat with a health visitor would probably be a good place to start, and she can point you in the right direction.

Something you could also look into, which might help with figuring his behaviour out is looking at A-B-C - Anticedent Behaviour Consequence This link explains it.

Hope things get better soon.