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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2yr old running a mock

21 replies

Beabea · 24/01/2007 19:34

No amount of telling, stints on the naughty step, removal of treats or promises of good things if she does what I request, will my DD behave.

I have a 4month son who she loves to bits. However is very jealous as she climbs all over me when I hold him and won't play with ANY of her toys.

I am loosing my temper with her and that is not helping. I have tried being calm and playing with her whilst still trying to tend to DS. She continues to pester me and DS.

I don't know what else I can try.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

poppiesinaline · 24/01/2007 19:47

how old? Just 2 or closer to 3?

She is partly probably reacting to new baby arriving and partly just being a 2 year old!

Original poster

Beabea · 24/01/2007 19:49

They were born on the same day, so she is 2yrs 4months. Yes, I know that she is reacting to his arrival, but I need to work out how to deal with it.

She is running rings around DH now who is trying to get her ready for bed.

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marymillington · 24/01/2007 19:51

i think that's what two year olds do

i have decided to pick my battles

and leave the room when he does my head in beyond tolerable limits

marymillington · 24/01/2007 19:53

btw does she go to playgroup or anything on her own?
find that that makes it easier for me to cope with DS (new baby due any day). and maybe some time for her away from the baby might help - all depends on your child and their personality of course.

poppiesinaline · 24/01/2007 19:53

tricky age at the best of times. Its really hard, especially when you have a new baby to cope with too.

I don't know what else to suggest really only that it will pass. She will get older and easier to discipline. DS will get older and will be able to interact with DD more. Things will ease up. Just try to be consistent with her and follow through any threats that you give.

Sorry, thats probably not very helpful.

Original poster

Beabea · 24/01/2007 19:54

Marymillington - I wish it were that easy. She follows me everywhere and I mean everywhere. Also its often when I am feeding DS so I can't just get up and go or deal with her properly.

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Original poster

Beabea · 24/01/2007 19:56

Poppiesinaline - I have followed through threats etc. She is currently going to bed with no pudding and no story. I was running out of things to remove.

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poppiesinaline · 24/01/2007 19:58

oh Beabea... I do feel for you.

Can I just ask why she isnt getting a pudding or story? Sometimes children that age have difficulty linking the 'punishment' with the 'crime'

Original poster

Beabea · 24/01/2007 20:03

Because she wouldnt eat her dinner she didnt get pudding. However she ate some chicken when dh got home so she had some apple instead of a yoghurt or soya desert.

She lost the story because she was climbing on me and generally messing around whilst I was feeding DS. She was sat on the naughty step then continued to do it again 5mins later. Like I say I ran out of options.

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marymillington · 24/01/2007 20:04

bea i can imagine how stressful and annoying that can be ( i'm sure i have it to look forward to myself).

is feeding the main time that it happens? have known people who have a special box of toys and bits and pieces to pull out, or can you read to her whilst you feed? also, if you can manage it, trying to find a time when you can sit down and focus your attention entirely on her for half an hour every day maybe whilst the baby is asleep may have an effect on her behaviour the rest of the time?

Original poster

Beabea · 24/01/2007 20:09

Marymillington - She does have lots of toys and some that suit the situation of playing whilst me feeding DS. I also spend lots of time with DD as DS still sleeps very well. It tends to be the 2 hours in the afternoon after her nap and before her bed that she does this regularly. She also refuses to sit down to eat. Some days are better than others, She has a very short attention span and flits from one activity to another.

Good suggestion though. Its just not the best time of the day. They both have needs at this time.

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SpawnChorus · 24/01/2007 20:23

I'm in exactly the same situation, Bea. DD is two on Saturday. DS is 5 months. I'm afraid I don't have any wise advice, just lots of sympathy!

Original poster

Beabea · 24/01/2007 20:27

Thanks Spawnchorus, Im just glad she is in nursery for 2 days now to give me and DS a break.

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maisiemog · 24/01/2007 20:32

Beabea, I totally feel for you. I only have one two year old and he is soooo clingy and wants so much attention.
I don't know how I would manage in your position, and I admire you for coping at all.
I do find that if I ask my DS to help me, in some trivial, carrying things way, he does like that. Or get him to do things I know will take ages, like put pegs in the peg bag, or put on his own socks or something random. I can generate quite a list of random things for him sometimes.
Of course it doesn't work when he is in a strop/clingy mood, so perhaps not for your DD a lot of the time just now.
Or DVDs for her to watch?
Does she understand much, I'm thinking if you keep explaining that you are busy and tell her about things that are going on and how she can help Mummy etc... it might help.
I say that because I know when I explain things to DS, even when he is really annoying, for some reason it keeps me calmer. Not sure why, but it 'feels' right and I feel I'm doing something positive, even if I don't see an immediate result.
I hope I don't sound patronising. I get really cross with him sometimes, but I find talking calms ME.
I go to a parent toddler group, where lots of mums have smaller babies and the toddlers spend a couple of hours playing on the toys and staring at each other. The other mums are great and will pick up a crying baby if the mum is busy.
Do you know of anything at all like that, it might help. NCT have groups and netmums.co.uk have details of local groups and activities in your area.
Do you have any friends/family available during the day? Or could you go to a friend's house for an hour or two, so your DD has attention from someone else, to give you a break really.
Someone will be along soon who will be able to advise you better, but it will pass eventually, even though everything is hard work right now.
Best of luck.

poppiesinaline · 24/01/2007 20:53

I think you are probably in the worst stage. You have two very young children who are still both at a demanding age. I think its the most tiring and exhausting thing having a baby and a toddler.

I have 3 children but there is a 5 year gap between my youngest and middle child and I still say that having 2 older children and a baby is not as tiring as having a baby and a toddler.

It does get better. It will pass I promise. You just have to stick to your guns and sit tight and wait for the time to pass...

saralou100 · 24/01/2007 21:10

hi beabea.. same boat here! ds1 is 2 next month and ds2 is 7 weeks! blooming knackering ain't it!!!!!

the only way i can cope is to interact with ds1 the most... por ds2 is in his swing or on the floor under his gym thing most of the day when not sleeping. i do get ds1 to help out as much as possible, which he loves doing!

if it all gets too much, walk away and come back as a calmer mummy.

i keep reminding myself he's not doing it on purpose. he's still a baby himself.

have a good whinge here and get it your system that way

poppiesinaline · 24/01/2007 21:32

I saw a friend this week who had a 2 year gap between hers. They are now 3 years and 1 year and she is saying it is so much easier than it was. So light at the end of the tunnel is not too far away.

Original poster

Beabea · 24/01/2007 21:40

Maisiemog - I do go to a group and I do activities with her during the mornings. The problems occur after her afternoon nap. She also has selective hearing and will only do helpful tasks if she wants to. Sometimes it works.

Thanks to the others who replied for your comments and support. I suspect until she gets a bit older and they can play together more I will be on here moaning from time to time.

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spudmasher · 24/01/2007 21:43

You have just brought back all sorts of memories for me! eg dd1 having huge tantrum in shopping centre whilst dd 2 screamed in pram for a feed whilst I just sat and sobbed and security guard coming over to ask if i needed help. It's really hard. It does get better. Your dd is showing her dissatisfaction which in my opinion is a sign of intelligence and awareness. My heart goes out to you. Dig deep. Act calm if if you feel like a screaming banshee inside.

xoxo · 24/01/2007 21:54

Hi
ds was 19 mths when dd was born - so I sympathise entirely.
I coped by getting ds absolutely exhausted: play dates/ groups/ clubs. Wonderful friends took him to play gym with their kids so baby and I could bond. and when it got really hard I got in a mothers help - a student (actually a friends nanny with some time on her hands as her charges were at school) to take ds to park and get him as tired as possible. he was happy - I was happy and we muddled through. students will gladly do this as they can fit around lectures and for a very reasonable fee.

It is an exhausting stage - get as much help as possible - and give the 2 yr old 'jobs' to do with baby: picking clothes for baby to wear, getting nappy changing stuff together etc. Then they will feel involved, and jealousy abates (theory).

I wish you well.

maisiemog · 27/01/2007 12:37

It sounds exhausting, but I think it's nice when the children are close together. My brother and I only have 18 months between us, as do most of my cousins and we all played together.
I don't think I could do it though. I'm aiming for DS starting nursery at three before next baby.
Good luck with it!

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