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Original poster

9 yr old son, picked on.. "skinny".."bony" .. bit more to it though... stealing food at night!

37 replies

chartmc · 30/06/2016 22:40

so worried about my 9 yr old son. sports day tomorrow.. he loves sports but he is so worried because yet again like on a p.e day he has to get dressed/undressed in front of his class. he is a tall boy... but very very thin.. lanky perhaps some people would say? he eats like a horse.. its his build. i have took him to the doctors twice and they have reassured me.. but it is really upsetting him now that people in his class are calling him bony, bone, starved and skinny.. ?! he said to me the other day theycall him names ad that he wouldnt say stuff to a fat person cuz its the same. (bless him!!!) he is stealing/helping himself to food at night.. im finding the wrappers in his room he will hide them anywhere he can.. im not talking one or two i mean 6/7 wrappers a night.. ceral bars crisps.. chocolate bars.. raisins you name it literally anything. im SURE he is trying to put on weight.. he has so much for tea.. sometimes seconds.. cant feed him enough.. he eats more that me and my partner put together sometimes.. i dunno how his little tummy takes it!! before he said about how he felt about being so skinny etc i was telling him off thinking he was just being naughty. this is literally a call for help. it seems like the opposite of annorexia. i have locked all crisps, sweet stuff away in our bedroom so he cant get it. but then he has been eating bread and butter.. i cant lock everything away!!. Sad desparate mum. do you think its a trip to the doctors?? what r ur suggestion?? i feel like ive tried everything. help..??

OP posts:
paap1975 · 01/07/2016 08:39

Just taking a quick glance at what you say he eats, it seems quite carb-heavy. The problem with carbs is that while they do initially fill you up, you can feel hungry quite quickly afterwards. You may want to look into increasing his protein intake. Growing kids need far more, proportionally, than adults do - and protein keeps you feeling full for longer. Having said this, I would think you are now at the stage where you need to get some medical advice. Good luck!

BombadierFritz · 01/07/2016 09:08

memysonandi almost every post says - speak to school. Op replies 'yes i will go to gp' no mention of school - her child says he is called at least four different unpleasant names. That is what needs addressing. Its good that op is going to speak to them again.

I noticed two other things op.you took him to the gp two years ago and you would be happy to let him eat more but you think he should be asking first. I get the other issue with teeth brushing etc but i would suggest unless you have money issues/so a strict food budget, you dont make food a thing he needs permission for - just dont have lots of unhealthy food in the house then you wont worry. Why did you take him twice to the gp earlier about his weight?

BombadierFritz · 01/07/2016 09:10

Actually three things. I wonder why you thought he was naughty for telling you his feelings about his weight?

Original poster
chartmc · 01/07/2016 11:31

no, not naughty for telling me about his weight at all.
i thought he was naughty for helping himself to food at night without permission, 6/7 things a night i thought at the time was taking the P, and he has been doing it for ages. i need snacks like that in the house.. for packed lunches etc. and money isnt an issue as such but it all adds up!!
the weight issue FOR HIM has only came up very recently.
i took him doctors before because i was worried about his weight not because he was. now i realise he is taking the food PERHAPS as a way to put on weight.. i do not see it as "naughty" at all. im now extremely worried. because it is not healthy for him to be thinking like that. i am speaking to his teacher AGAIN this afternoon.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 01/07/2016 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 01/07/2016 12:00

I think it is perfectly possible he is stealing food in a bid to put on weight. Many people are just naturally skinny though: my DH and DS included.

The only thing I will say is that a friend of mine has a slim, bird like family. She insists they all eat like horses. They don't. Food is quite carby and vegetable based, very little protein. They may have extra helpings but both helpings are tiny. When we go to stay we are always starving. I know from my own kids that hers buy a lot of snacks in secret.

Sounds like your son actually does have plenty to eat, but please be sure of this.

BombadierFritz · 01/07/2016 12:09

Ah i see. Please dont think i am having a go, just trying to understand. Sometimes families, as tinkly says, can have unrealistic ideas about food, but equally perhaps you have a mothers instinct that something is not right health wise. Certainly i would say there is no need for crisps or chocolate bars for lunch boxes at all. If thats all he snacks on, he probably just likes the taste of it :) Getting rid of those so he just has healthier snack options would be a good start. My 'healthy' snack options are a bit rubbish and unhealthy but as an example if my kids say they are hungry late at night they can help themselves to a milk drink eg hotchocolate or porridge or some boiled eggs or just toast. I let them help themselves. All my kids eat constantly and are all v skinny but have lots of energy. I would worry if they were lethargic. What was it that made you worry two years ago about his weight?

coco1983 · 03/07/2016 08:38

I agree with talking to the school and the doctor again.

Regarding the secret eating, if it was me I would have a conversation with him and tell him you recognise that he wants to put on weight and you'd like to support him to feel happy with himself, but you aren't happy with him eating unhealthy things or continuing to eat after he's brushed his teeth. Talk out a solution which meets both your needs: You could make high calories smoothies together with full fat milk etc, you could add more snacks in the day... find out what he would like to do and support him in his quest to feel full and confident, and in return ask that he doesn't snack on crap after he has brushed his teeth.

sommer2000 · 14/07/2016 21:43

Can I just ask did your GP run any tests when you took him. It sounds like he could be malabsorbing. Was he tested for coeliacs does he have any tummy pains as well as eating without gaining weight

Hulababy · 14/07/2016 21:52

Could you have a snap drawer that he is allowed to help himself to whenever he likes, though have a rule that no one can come downstairs to the kitchen after bedtime?

We have an alarm on the ground floor at night, so no one CAN go down after we've all gone to bed - I think that is fine.

But at 9y I think it is more likely he is snacking because he does feel hunger (or thirsty - some people misdiagnose thirst for hunger its common) rather than to put weight on. However, eating disorders at 9 are not unknown.

Maybe look at the type of food he is having for his main meals - are they filling him up enough. Maybe check there are some slower acting carbs and protein in there, etc.

Kbear · 14/07/2016 21:57

my advice is ask the doc to check thyroid function - when I was 9 I had undiagnosed Graves disease ( - hyperthyroidsm or over-active thyroid) and stole food regularly at night - might just be worth checking? have a read about it in case there are other less obvious symptoms

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