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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

If you have more than one child - how much quality time do you have with them individually?

12 replies

ghosty · 22/01/2007 08:03

I have just come back from a truly phenomenal weekend with my 7 year old DS. We left DD with friends and had a 4 hour road trip adventure down to Taupo for the A1GP motor racing that was being held in NZ for the first time.
My DS is totally MAD about cars and has the good fortune to have an uncle (my brother) who works on the A1GP circuit. So, to kill several birds with one stone (Time with bruv - who I hardly ever see, time with uncle, time with the beloved cars, time together just me and DS) we drove down to Taupo to see the racing. We had guest passes so DS was able to go into the Pits, was able to meet some drivers etc etc.
We had such a fabulous time ... and surprisingly, I LOVED the buzz of the racing - think I may become a groupie

But the best bit was the easy time DS and I had together - on a practical level without DD (nearly 3) to worry about (dangers on the track, likelihood of her getting bored and naughty, dangers of sunburn sitting so long in the NZ sun, lugging food and drinks around, getting her into bed at reasonable times etc)
But also on an emotional level - he was my buddy again ... he had my undivided attention, I wasn't on at him to be sensible and to look after anyone, I could focus on him and his enjoyment of the event without worrying about DD, we could talk uninterrupted (very rare in the ghosty household).

It was really really special.

So, What I am saying is, if you don't get much time with your children individually, and wish you did/could, then do see if you can .... it's MAGIC!

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Fillyjonk · 22/01/2007 08:07

i know what you mean

when i have dd or ds alone it is fab and sooooo easy and unstressful.

nearlyfourbob · 22/01/2007 08:07

What a lovely time for you both. Strange as it sounds when I take ds away for a week each January (even though he's an only child) it is totally different than being at home with him. Sharing travel and a new experience is really special.

RubberDuck · 22/01/2007 08:13

I know exactly what you mean. I get loads of time with ds2 but hardly any with ds1. We used to get Friday afternoons as ds2 was in a day nursery on a Friday until 5.30, but now he's in a sessional nursery which echoes school hours it's next to impossible to get time with ds1 alone.

Must try and be more devious to get the time with him, I think.

suedonim · 22/01/2007 08:14

Aw, glad you had a good day, Ghosty. Is dh still working away?

I have to say, there are moments when I see too much of dd2! Now the other three dc are away doing their own thing and we're living abroad I've become her main source of entertainment and, boy, is that hard sometimes because she does everything with 110% enthusiasm. But I'm not complaining too much, I'm cherishing the few years of childhood she has left.

Original poster

ghosty · 22/01/2007 08:14

Absolutely Nearly4bob ...
It isn't the fact that bob is an only child though is it? It is the fact that you and he are going away together, just the two of you (without DH IYSWIM?)
My DS has had lots of time with DH since DD was born (cricket, camping etc) - more to give me a bit of peace when DD was sleeping tbh ....
But it has been Soooooo long since DS and I did something together ... and something that he is really into ... not something I might choose to do if you see what I mean?

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Original poster

ghosty · 22/01/2007 08:16

Yes, Suedonim, DH still working away ... dragging on a bit now really ... I don't know how long it will be before we can move to Aus ... v. long and boring story ...
The good news is that DS and I are officially Kiwis now YAY!

OP posts:

suedonim · 22/01/2007 08:26

Glad your citizenship (is that what it's called in NZ?) is all sorted out! Lol at you getting it and then departing to Oz!

jabberwocky · 22/01/2007 08:40

That gives me hope Right now w. terrible three's and a new lo in the house it's hard to imagine a w/end like that...

Original poster

ghosty · 22/01/2007 08:53

Have hope JW ... it will come
When DD was born I thought that was it for me and DS forever ....

This is one reason why I have decided to stop and not have a third ... I honestly don't know how I could do it ...

OP posts:

Miaou · 22/01/2007 09:13

It's only now that you bring this up ghosty that I realise I have virtually no quality time individually with my children. My dds are fairly inseparable and if I was to do something with one the then other would be upset (and therefore the first one would be upset too!). My parents quite often will take one or other dd for some "quality time" therefore leaving me with the other dd and ds - not quite the same, but we do get to chat more in that case. They don't crave me on an individual basis so it doesn't really cross my mind to engineer it . I really should make more of an effort though, particularly as dd1 (very quiet) tends to talk much more when we are one-on-one.

poppiesinaline · 22/01/2007 09:41

glad you had such a lovely lovely time ghosty. of you in the NZ sun.

I know what you mean. I feel like I don't know my DS1 anymore (he's 10) and feel like very soon he will be a teenager and won't want to know me iyswim. I don't feel like I get enough one to one time with my older two. We each try to make 'special' time with each of them but its very difficult, even more so now we have a 3rd.

The odd times I do go trotting off with one of them we feel as free as birds

SNOWBall4girlz · 22/01/2007 10:00

hi there ghosty
sounds like a fab weekend lol at you becoming a groupie

It is so hard to find the time but my dd2 6 loves it when we get to do something as simple as going to morrisons or one of her partys without dd3 and dd4.[ 4 and 1]
dd1 is 13 and we hardly get any quality time butshe is a sulky teenager who prob would think spending time with me at the mo a punishment.
I get a bit of time with dd3 as dd2 at school and dd4 has a nap so we do cooking she is fab the best thing is just remembering to hug them as much as poss.

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