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my 5 year old DD is a perfectionist

5 replies

asleep · 21/01/2007 18:56

when she is doing sums or writing she gets so upset when she makes a mistake. her handwriting has to be perfect. it is really good for her age and being left handed, the teachers said. she also freaks out if she can't find an eraser straight away to correct her mistakes.
this morning i found some clothes perfectly folded on the floor. it were her dirty clothes that she had taken off last night before bed! she said she wanted them to come out of the washing machine all clean AND folded.
she arranges DS' toys that are lying on the living room floor as soon as she sees an opportunity. i often walk into the room and all his rattles are lined up, his blanket straightened. it's like a compulsive thing. she has to tidy them up.
DP and i aren't particularly fussed if she makes mistakes (that's how you learn!) or if her laundry is just in a pile. but this picky perfectionist behaviour is getting to me a bit.

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Enid · 21/01/2007 19:55

dd1 is exactly the same

always has been

she gets worse when she is stressed or anxious

noonar · 21/01/2007 20:05

many children do this kind of habitual / ritualistic tidiness thing. it's to do with anxiety, but is rarely anything to worry about.

my dd went through a phase of wanting items in her room arrnged in a particular way at night. slightly OCD -ish, but she's over it now. i did make a point of talking to her about what she was worried about though.

have you asked her why she needs to be so tidy?

brandy7 · 21/01/2007 20:07

my sister dd has been a perfectionist for as long as i can remember,shes 5.5 now. my sis says she will grow up as a stressed adult as everything has to be just right or she gets really upset

asleep · 21/01/2007 20:57

at the moment, i'm worried about doing her homework. she gets so upset. we were practicing her keywords today. i asked her to write them, to see how many she could write already. she did very well. then we came across a word ('her') and she had trouble writing it. i said it didn't matter if she got it wrong, to just write it how she thinks it would be. it turned into a big drama. in the end we had to stop because she was so worked up about it.

i have thought, maybe that approach isn't right for her. maybe it would be better to show her how to write them in the first place?

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suedonim · 21/01/2007 21:28

My dd's like this, though not about clothes so much. She has to have everything about a given situation just so, all details in place and future plans ready. She's eased off as she's got a bit older (now 10yo) thank goodness. My ds2 is a psychologist and says it's all part of her Type A personality and she needs to control everything. Ain't that the truth!

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