Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

sometimes when I reprimand my six year old he says I am a useless piece of shit

45 replies

iamworkingonit · 24/06/2016 06:52

My son is an articulate and fairly sensitive child. He can come across and outgoing and confident. He is one of the tallest and biggest children in his class and is quite often the instigator of ideas for games and ideas.
He is warm and loving and I love him to bits.
Recently when I tell him off or lose my temper he has come back with 'I am just a useless piece of shit'. I have talked to him about this and asked him what he means. He is not really able to articulate what he means. Although it has been tempting to say to him that is not true I have attempted to give him a time to reconsider or explore what he means by this. I am deeply upset when he says this.
What do other people think................

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

meowli · 24/06/2016 17:29

The confusion at the start as to whether the op meant her ds was saying that about her or himself, is because of the missing speech marks.

sometimes when I reprimand my six year old he says I am a useless piece of shit.

sometimes when I reprimand my six year old he says "I am a useless piece of shit."

(sorry op my inner pedant couldn't resist it!)

Canyouforgiveher · 24/06/2016 17:30

He heard it somewhere.

He didn't hear it on ScoobyDoo.

He may have heard if from another child, an older child, on an inappropriate tv program or youtube clip you didn't know he saw, or indeed another adult. It isn't an indictment of you that he heard it somewhere else. You may think you know every single thing that goes on in your child's life but if he is in school, then you don't. I learned this the hard way myself.

You need to find out where he heard this and deal with it. and also talk to your son explaining that no one, least of all him, is a useless piece of shit and anyone who uses this phrase is not being good or nice and is not worth listening to.

LadyintheRadiator · 24/06/2016 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

iamworkingonit · 24/06/2016 20:30

Thanks Lady in the Radiator I have am very careful to let him know that when I tell him off, it is not about him being a bad person but about his behaviour. I have and will continue to reinforce this. And ditto my son is a deep thinker.

OP posts:

EssexMummy1234 · 25/06/2016 22:24

wake up OP, it did not come from scoobydoo (swearing kinda not the done thing on kids cartoons)

where did it come from? bet it was school :-(

Passmethecrisps · 25/06/2016 22:31

Are you not i'm working on it?

It is certainly something g he has heard from an adult or his a child who has heard it then passed it on. The real issue is whether it is actually meant as a representation of his self-esteem. Keep doing as you are doing and he should drop it.

It may be worth having a word with the school as he may not be the only one coming out with it.

Original poster

iamworkingonit · 26/06/2016 07:39

Yes I am .......'( my mistake) I,m working on it' somebody another sad faceless troll who is obviously not very clever used a previous alias of mine : FinallyMadeit and that is who I reported.

OP posts:

Believeitornot · 26/06/2016 07:51

Does he watch YouTube? I remember when watching videos with ds on YouTube I would stumble across peppa pig videos with sweary voices dubbed over the top.

The reason why people are asking where he got the phrase from is because it might be a sign that he's seen something he should not have.

Also I doubt he quite gets the severity of the phrase and doesn't quite know what it means. Especially if you don't use the phrase around him

So I would have very quickly said a) that he is not useless and b) not to use that language and explained why.

firesidechat · 26/06/2016 08:24

Why do you think FinallyMadeIt is a troll? Nothing in their post on this thread suggests that.

I'm having trouble understanding why you think such a vile phrase would come from a children's tv program. It's not about the word "shit" as such (for downright), it's just a horrible thing to say to anyone and wouldn't be in any of the Scooby Doos I've ever watched or any thing suitable for a 6 year old to watch.

I'm not sure using "I'm not very proud of myself at the moment" as a kind of mantra when he has been told off or feels that he has done something wrong, is a great idea. If I was telling myself that on a regular basis I think it would seriously erode my confidence and I'm a mature adult. I'm not a child psychologist though, so I may be overreacting. It's not something I would do though.

TheCrowFromBelow · 26/06/2016 08:40

It has absolutely not come from Scooby Doo I have watched every episode a billion times including Mystery Inc.
No one is suggesting you swear, but he has not heard that phrase on a cartoon so check his YouTube history and make sure your settings are on strict.,There are all sorts of cartoon based parodies out there. I'd be more concerned that he thinks he is useless but DS2 gets a bit melodramatic when he's been told off and I find a hug and sincere assurances that it's the behaviour not the person that is wrong work. I don't think a 6yo should have to say he is not proud ... We all make mistakes just move on from it, try harder not to do whatever it was next time, not sure he needs to dwell on it. What are you telling him off for or losing your temper st?

Original poster

iamworkingonit · 26/06/2016 20:26

Yes 'Believe it or Not' I used to let him watch some Scooby Doo from Youtube so that is quite possible.
And also "I'm not very proud of myself at the moment" may need a bit of tinkering.I agree it is probably not the best. I wanted to help him get the idea that everybody makes mistakes and loses their temper from time to time and to be tolerant and kind to himself. So it is something of an ongoing challenge.

OP posts:

LineyReborn · 26/06/2016 20:32

You're reporting yourself for trolling? Or someone else who didn't troll you on this thread?

I'm confused.

And yes I do watch Scooby Doo and if you think that's where a child picks up the word 'shit' then you need to be a bit more aware.

AnecdotalEvidence · 26/06/2016 20:52

Do you supervise his Youtube use?
There is a lot of incredibly inappropriate stuff on Youtube that children should absolutely not be watching. He should not be watching it unsupervised.
He has picked this language up from somewhere (quite possibly YT) and it's probable that he doesn't even have a clue what it actually means, he's just using it in the same context that he's heard it. There's little point in telling him to think about it or reconsider what he means if he doesn't understand the words he is saying.

There is a Youtube Kids app that is safer.

PosiePootlePerkins · 26/06/2016 20:58

Reall recommend the kids youtube app. Its free and cuts out most of the risk of hearing/seeing inappropriate things.

FinallyMadeIt · 26/06/2016 21:03

Excuse me, why am I being accused of being a troll?

I am not a troll, I signed up to this site incase I ever need advice and to also give advice, report me as much as you like because I know I'm not a troll, is it because I said something you didn't like? Or is it because you are a troll and want the attention carried away from you to me?

And how would I know that your name was previously mine?

FinallyMadeIt is a lyric out of a song I was listening on the radio when I chose my nickname!!! T-Pain Better.

Passmethecrisps · 26/06/2016 21:08

It all seems very odd and rather moves the discussion away from a wee boy saying something pretty concerning really.

"I'm a useless piece of shit" has not come from telly. That has come from an adult. Op, I mean it that you need to tell the school as a child saying this could suggest issues in the home. It is really unpleasant and needs picked up on. They may be aware of a child who has said similar. Or they may be able to help you work with him in finding more positive ways of verbalising his feelings.

antiqueroadhoe · 26/06/2016 21:10

He's a clever boy. He's worked out that when he says that, it totally derails you and makes you focus away from the initial bad behaviour and onto 1) the swearing and 2) the suggestion that he thinks nothing of himself, so you immediately want to ensure he understands you love him and think he's great and then the telling off stops.

My feeling is that he knows full well how valued he is. Try not to get red-herringed by him - tell him that he knows that language is not allowed and punish him for it.

FinallyMadeIt · 26/06/2016 21:15

I believe that OP is the troll.

A 6 year old would not come out with that kind of language if he hadn't heard it more than once from someone else, we all have kids here and when a child hears something more than once they will start repeating it.

OP are you sure that nobody has used that phrase to you? Because something does not seem right here.

Original poster

iamworkingonit · 26/06/2016 21:18

Thanks last person. I think you are right. That has been my gut feeling but I was so shocked by the phrase he was using it has derailed me totally.

OP posts:

Original poster

iamworkingonit · 27/06/2016 13:38

Thanks last person. I think you are right. That has been my gut feeling but I was so shocked by the phrase he was using it has derailed me totally.

This message is in reply to antiqueroadhoe response .

OP posts:

Flip

1 2