Is my toddler "strong willed"?

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

Nursery have said a number of times that DS (just turning 2) is shaping up to be "strong willed".

If they'd never said this I would have thought DS was pretty easy going, but now I am fearing we are on the cusp of a a full-scale 'terrible twos'.

So what do you think - easy going or strong willed?

-can count on one hand the number of proper tantrums he has had, most days are tantrum-free
-often wants to do something different to my plans (walk a different direction in park etc) and has to be convinced my way is better ('let's go this way and see the ducks!!!') if I want him to comply without being dragged
-he has hit out at me a few times when I try to do something he doesn't want, but it is rare and I am firm with him when he does it
-things like trips to supermarket, restaurant etc are hit-and-miss - sometimes he is not keen on being constrained and I need to employ all my distraction techniques to keep him happy or just give him my phone
-is VERY possessive about favourite toys and does not like to share, although it is quite possible to get through a playgroup etc without it being unmanageable (I calm and distract if he reacts to another child having a toy he wants).
-he is usually quite content to play on his own for a good while and get absorbed with some kind of activity
-he can get frustrated when he can't do something but this is getting better as his skills improve (he used to get really annoyed by shape sorters etc)
-we don't have too many battles over day to day tasks (dressing, going in buggy etc) - happens occasionally but is exception

We have the occasional 'oh god I need gin' days where he is difficult but mostly we get through the day happily.

Does this sound strong willed? The frustration over stuff he can't manage and poor sharing I would say is a bit worse than other toddlers I know but outside of this I think his general disposition is pretty 'agreeable'.

No way does he sound strong willed to me! My dd (2.4) is way more 'strong willed' than this. We have daily battles over getting dressed etc, if I want her to go my way on a walk I pretty much have to drag her as no amount of distraction or convincing works, she plays on her own for all of about 5 minutes if I'm very very lucky, and we are battling the hitting thing every day (especially in terms of hitting her little bro). So no, I'd say he sounds easy going and biddable and I'm v jealous!

He sounds like a normal 2yo to me. Maybe next time someone says it, you could ask for an example? Just in case there's something going on at nursery that you should be aware of.

Thanks for replies - he seems very 'typical two year old' to me as well. I always get a detailed report on the day from nursery and to be honest he generally seems pretty biddable there too. The posssessiveness over toys is the only thing I hear that really supports him being 'strong willed' - as I say he is particularly bad about this and I guess they see a lot more of it as he is constantly with other children, whereas at home it is only for an hour or two here and there. Plus I can intervene quickly if he gets het up whereas they're dealing with multiple children.

Tempted fate of course as we just had a terrible bed time with DS absolutely raging - got a bit overexcited playing in the bath, then he didn't want to get out and was as mad as hell!

Ds is and was pretty strong willed but his twos were not terrible. He is pretty jolly actually, it's just that he goes to remarkable lengths to get his own way, but that isn't necessarily a long dramatic tantrum. Mostly he outsmarts me somehow. I wouldn't get the fear over terrible twos. The odd rough bed time is par for the course.

That sounds quite like my DS KingLooie - he is generally a very happy soul! At the moment I can usually outsmart him though, I am sure it will get more interesting when he can outsmart me!