DS telling lies, and not nice ones.

[totaleclipse]

ds (AGE 5.11) is uner assessment, it looks like he may be dx with Aspergers Syndrome, just recently he has stated telling lies for example, he often randomly go upstairs, then comes down sulking saying I or his dad sent him to his room, he acts as if he really believes we did, but worse he has started to say I am smacking him when I am not, but he uses the phrase 'hit'.
Yesterday, he was racing around while I was trying to cook, so I just held his shoulder, guided him to the living room, and told him to sit down, he stormed up the stairs in tears saying I hit him really hard, I am really bothered by these lies and dread to think what he tells his teachers, should I mention this to his teachers, or will it look like I am trying to cover something?

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Do you have someone you can contact within the assessment team who you can ask for help with dealing with this?

I have been appointed a HV at the Child Development Centre to be a point of contact as ds3 is "probably Autistic".

If you don't have one, then ask for help. It is really tough so I feel for you.

Yes, I will call his paediatrcian shortly,I just wanted to get some views on it first

TE Im sorry but I dont have any experience of the lying thing. But I do think you should keep a diary of what he said and when. I cant help but feel that this would be a good thing. As when one says >.."he always does...." sounds quite airy fairy it would be so much better if you could show them that.
I know about authorities etc, because we had to take dd1 to A + E several times, and we got flagged up as "watch them". I was so paranoid, (she was just going through that clumsy stage-now realize). That when she was charging arround and trying to get over a small wall she cut the top inside of her leg near her --you-know-what - I didnt take her was sooo paranoid she would be taken away. Felt like crap mother.
Speak to teacher now along the lines of "does he ever lie to you, at home he tells woppers like----and then its as if he really believes it". After meeting you could follow up with a sort of thankyou letter, mentioning how relieved you were that he did/didnot lye at school like he did at home. Du nur nur - on paper and filed! Prehaps that maybe going too far - depends what your school is like. good luck

TE Im sorry but I dont have any experience of the lying thing. But I do think you should keep a diary of what he said and when. I cant help but feel that this would be a good thing. As when one says >.."he always does...." sounds quite airy fairy it would be so much better if you could show them that.
I know about authorities etc, because we had to take dd1 to A + E several times, and we got flagged up as "watch them". I was so paranoid, (she was just going through that clumsy stage-now realize). That when she was charging arround and trying to get over a small wall she cut the top inside of her leg near her --you-know-what - I didnt take her was sooo paranoid she would be taken away. Felt like crap mother.
Speak to teacher now along the lines of "does he ever lie to you, at home he tells woppers like----and then its as if he really believes it". After meeting you could follow up with a sort of thankyou letter, mentioning how relieved you were that he did/didnot lye at school like he did at home. Du nur nur - on paper and filed! Prehaps that maybe going too far - depends what your school is like. good luck

Yes I will speak to his teacher, just need to get my wording right, I suppose I am just scared of anyone believing him.

Any other thoughts?

Hello
My DS (4.5)has also said similar things.

He has said other children have hit him, I have 'smacked' him ( I never use that word) and daddy 'punched' him in the head.

It hasn't really worried me at all - I picked him up on it and he starts laughing and says he is joking.

God knows what it is about - attention? finding boundaries?

I would not say that that on it's own is no reason to worry.

My 4yo recently told me and dh that he had seen a "doctor" at nursery school. He told us that one of the helpers (he named her) had taken him into a little room, and then a man had come in and asked him lots of questions. He was very specific about it and maintained the same story over a couple of days. I was very concerned and upset about it.

When I asked his teacher about it, she looked at me as if I was mad and said "no, of course we aould never do anything liked that without consulting the parents!". She said that ds and someo f the other children had taken to playing at doctors in the home corner a lot and he had probably made it up because of these games.

I felt like an utter twat. I have a great relationship with his teachers and think very highly indeed of everything they do with him. But I couldn't just ignore it, could I?

Fragging kids. [head in hands emoticon]

I'm sorry not to be much help but do you think you need something clear and consistent to do each time this happens, just to make him aware what he's doing?

something like ALWAYS having the same chat with him immediately, saying to him "no, I didn't hit you really hard, I put my hand on your shoulder and moved you. I do not hit you". or "no, I didn't hit you really hard, I took your hand firmly to cross the road. I do not hit you".

Just thought this kind of 'broken record' stuff might be a way of showing him that there's a boundary - that he just mustn't say things that aren't correct.

You know him best, do you think that'll be any help, or maybe you do it already!

If you do want to follow that approach then I would certainly tell his teachers so that hopefully they can do more or less the same at school. Feel for you, it's a difficult and potentially humiliating position to be in to feel at the mercy of what a small child might say! My ds turned to me the other day when I did something that annoyed him, and said "do you want a smack?" and the child has never been smacked EVER! Obviously heard someone else say it but I'm sure everyone else in the park thought it was hilarious and that it served me right!