don't know what to do

[MejustMe]

My DS is 8 yrs old and at the moment is sitting beside the sofa crying his eyes out, there was an incident in school today which got him thrown out of a class. He tells me he told a child he wouldn't be able to wear the top he had as it wasn't the school p.e top. The child then went to the head and said Ds had said he said "He had been brought up in a gutter".

This is just another example of things going on. He has since July continuosly lied over trivial things and will continue to do so causing a row between my DP and I and then admit to whatever it was. This all started when his idiotic father told him he never wanted to see him again.
Tonight however I do not know what to believe, The other child involved and my ds have never got on since they were in reception, now in yr 4 and things between them have not improved. I have spoken to the school on many occassions and done all i can to keep them apart but they keep going back together.
Sitting here listen to him crying is breaking my heart and I know it would be so easy for me to say "ok darling mummy believes you go and watch tv" but I don't know if i do believe him it has been one lie after another and my heart is now pulling. I am doing all i can right now not to break down and cry in front of my ds.

ANYONE GOT ANY IDEAS?

Iiwy I would go and give him a cuddle and say 'I love you no matter what' because you do and the poor child needs some reassurance.

I agree with Carmenere, don't try to deal with this tonight when he is so upset.

agree with carmenere, even if he is lying, it sounds to me like there's an underlying angst.

But I think tomorrow I would speak to the school, possibly the SENCO and see if they can give you some advice on how to deal with this. At DD's school there is a psychologist they can refer to who is really fantastic with all sorts of things, what your DS has been through with his father is the sort of thing she would deal with, along with things like nightmares, anxiety about transition to the next school etc.

His father has put in the position of picking up the pieces and I think maybe a helping hand with it wouldn't go amiss.

I have spoken to the school to a cple of weeks ago regarding him seeing the psychologist and am waiting for a reply. The school do not seem concerned they seem to think that because he is doing well in school his behaviour will settle down.. Thanks for all your advice and I will let you know how i get on.