14 month old behaviour - feel like running away :(

[LoserDust]

Hi everyone :)

My DD2 is 14 months old. She has always been a very strong willed baby, never what you would call 'easy' but I'm at my wits end with her now. She whinges and cries from opening her eyes to going to bed. That's no exaggeration - it's all day, every day. Huge temper tantrums the instant something doesn't go her way. Nothing physically wrong, has gone down to one nap per day recently but I would say that has exacerbated things rather than caused them. I just don't know what to do. I'm very isolated (DH at work, NC with family etc) so I drag myself through each day waiting for bedtime. I love her so much and don't want to feel like that. I just can't handle the constant whining every single day. I'm starting to feel really depressed.

I had postnatal depression with DD1 very badly and have always had a lot of guilt over it. DD2 was my way of proving to myself I had it in me to be a good mother I guess - I wanted to experience the love and bond etc (DD1 has autism so wasn't affectionate at all as a child) so I suppose I crave that in DD2 sometimes. I know it's not about ME but I feel like a really shit mother and it's getting me so down :(

I just don't know what to do anymore. Somebody please tell me it gets better!

You need a break! Is there someone who you could get to help out with your DD for a couple of mornings a week, so you can get out and have your own time? Do you go to play groups / baby music etc and get out with your DD? Otherwise the day can be very long.

You absolutely must NOT feel guilty about having PND with your first DD. How is it your fault?!

It will get better, but do speak with someone if you find yourself slipping into depression again, it's not worth suffering in silence.

I can completely relate to how you feel, I've posted on here from DS1 being three months and very high needs. I too struggle feeling like I am just getting through the days at times and DS is 15 months. I hated maternity leave I'm sorry to admit and the days I felt were relentless. What helped me massively was going back to work. As Blackswan says u need a break! Have u considered a day a week nursery? DS1 is starting two mornings nursery and goes to my parents and although I still struggle it's a blessed relief at times to have time to myself and feel like me again. You're completely not alone in how u feel but I genuinely think u need time out xx

Not sure if you've had any changes with your DD. I have a 14 month old DD and she is exactly the same. None stop crying and whinging all day long. She doesn't stop for a minute. She's my fourth so I thought I would have it all sorted. But was I wrong. I have a child with special needs too so i get what your saying regarding the effection side of it also. i try to go out with her as much as I can so it tires her out and got involved in some parent and toddler groups. It helped to a certain extent. But she's just a very active child. She doesn't sleep at night at all. Which makes the situation worse as I'm knackered all day long. But one Thing I know is I need a break. So next week I've got my in laws to take her for the weekend. So I can just sleep and recharge. If you have anyway you can get someone to sit for you even if it's for a few hours so you can just take a breather I would to that asap. You are a good mum and all you need is some time to relax. You're not alone so Please if you feel you can't cope just go to the doctor and have a quick chat. They actually can be helpful in this area.