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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Stubborn DS - or downright weird?

10 replies

OrmIrian · 16/01/2007 12:59

Over the last few months DS2 (4 in Feb) has started to show some really odd behaviour. Sometimes he insists on getting somewhere or doing something first. If you get there first or at the same time he gets really upset and insists of you going back and giving him the chance to get there first. I tried to go up the stairs at the same time as him - he got upset and made me go back down and wait until he was at the top. If I hadn't complied he'd have had a fit and screamed blue murder. If we go the toilet at the same time - he doesn't like me to get up from the toilet until he's finished on the potty - if I do her tries to make me sit back down again. Various other behaviours of the same type. I know it sounds funny but it's driving me mad - everything takes twice as long as it should. I'm wondering if that's the point - DS trying to get more of my time and attention. As no3 he does get palmed off a bit I suppose.

So is it just attention grabbing or something stranger?

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Muminfife · 16/01/2007 13:09

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MrsBigD · 16/01/2007 13:48

I think it's perfectly normal, well either that or my dd is odd too

She's definitely in a I have to be first or I win I win I win phase. And if I 'win' then I obviously have cheated...

Also dd threw a major wobbly the other day because she wanted to go to the loo and I was already there... note to self, need lock on door

Repeat after me... It's only a phase and yes it's very infuriating at times

karabiner · 16/01/2007 20:26

My DS does the same - he was 4 last month. Has to be first most of the time, especially up the stairs. If we go up first he makes a fuss like yours. Drives me mad too. Just a phase I am hoping.

nwgreenmum · 16/01/2007 20:39

Yep, been there. Mostly with walking places. It was just a phase but in his case not a very short one - infact we still see who can get ready first - but that is a help as it is sometimes the only way I can get him to get dressed in the morning.

chipkid · 16/01/2007 20:42

testosterone! he is just on the verge of a major surge!-just flexing his machismo muscles!

Original poster

OrmIrian · 17/01/2007 12:53

Oh joy chipkid . Thanks for that.....

Now you mention it I seem to remember hearing that was why so many boys struggle at school - school start coincides with a surge in testosterone when the last thing they want to do is sit about and be told things!! DS is due to start this Sept.

Thanks for your input everyone. Half of me knew it was just a phase but he is so insistent and gets so upset that I was a little concerned. Don't remember anything like this with DS#1 or DD for that matter. However doesn't alter the fact that he is a bossy little s*d and he and his Dad are going to have a major falling out one of these days.

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NotQuiteCockney · 17/01/2007 12:55

Yeah, very very normal. My DS1 was like this for a while, he's mostly stopped now, at 5.

sunnysideup · 17/01/2007 13:22

Yup, my four year old ds is very controlling, and boy does he need to be 'first' at whatever it is (even going upstairs just like your ds Orm!)

I'm sure it's normal, as these posts on here have shown.

Am afraid of rearing a brat actually cos along with this ds is also keen to point out to other people when he/we have got better things than them! The other day we went to visit friends who have a lovely little terraced victorian house and he loudly told them "our house is MUCH bigger than yours"....gulp. Need to move on to learning about the next stage of social skills, I think.

Original poster

OrmIrian · 17/01/2007 14:34

Had to laugh this morning...that or cry. We both went upstairs for DS to use the potty. On the way down I made the fatal mistake of going first. You'd think I'd know better.... Cue yelling DS who would not be happy until I'd come back upstairs. Then he decided he needed his plastic anteater from the box he keeps his menagerie in. And I wasn't able to go downstairs until he'd found it. I sat on the top step ...and then sneaked downstairs one step at the time on by bottom. DS found that funny so I got away with it...

Then he thumped his sister when she wound him up and pretended to be going out of the front door before him. It really doesn't help when this behaviour reduces his siblings to helpless laughter.... makes him so cross......

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sunnysideup · 18/01/2007 09:47

what a nice mum though to put up with it like you do..the key is definitely not to turn it into a big issue but I think go with it and let him be bossy when it's really not a problem to...or when you can make a game of it like you did on the stairs this morning....he will get teased by his siblings (bless them!) and that's no bad thing as it will make him aware of what he's doing eventually!

I make the most of ds' need to be first and it makes getting his clothes, shoes, coat on etc MUCH easier if I struggle stupidly with my coat while saying "I'm gonna be ready FIRST!" He can't bear it!

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