ds(4) is scared to play in his room/go to the loo/go to any part of the house unless someone is with him - help

[Glassofwine]

DS just turned 4 and I've recently realised that he really is scared of being alone. He has never been the sort of child to play alone in his room, but today I sent him to his room and he was petrified. He's also started asking for someone to go with him to the bathroom. He's quite happy to be in a room alone downstairs, but not upstairs.

He says he's scared of woolves and monsters and I've explained that they are not real/only in stories etc but it doesn't seem to help.

any advice?

i think this is a common phase..... both my ds's had something similar.... my advice would be dont make a big thing of it, reassure him, dont get cross, hope it dosent last long!

oh, and try to talk with him about worries / fears etc....

Help him invent an imaginary friend?

Give him a large box and a magic word. If he tells the monsters and wolves to get it in the box - well, they won't like it one little bit. But if he uses the magic word, they have no choice. They just have to all squish into it, and then he can shut the lid.

Watch Monsters Inc with him.

I did wonder if it was a phase, but neither of my dd's have done it.

He has a nightlight on in his room and yesterday chose a toy torch in Woolies with some birthday money so has that too. Have been reassuring him etc.

I guess I have to hope it will pass soon, poor boy

My DS is 5 and still won't go upstairs alone. we tried magic dust, and a container to catch all the baddies and monsters and throw them out the front door, but they came back!. Its more difficult and frustrating to deal with, when I am in the middle of dinner, (I have 1 other DS 3). I Try to go up to the loo with him, or stand at the bottom of the stairs singing, (He would normally get a gold star, If I stand at bottom). He also tempts the dog up stairs with treats, just so he has someone with him. its been going on for as long as i can remember, and now we need more suggestions please.

It sounds like you're talking about my DS (also 5). He will not go into another room/upstairs/in the garden without me, even in broad daylight. He seems genuinely very scared, although otherwise is a pretty confident little boy.

He wouldn't go into the kitchen the other day on his own as he said 'hands would come out of the cupboards and get him' and never goes upstairs to the toilet on his own. He is good about going to bed, although I know he falls asleep hiding under the covers - I feel so sad for him being that scared.

DP gets v cross (with me, not him) - says I've turned him into a weed by pandering to it. The only time he is ok is if he has the tv on as he says the noise makes him less scared. That's my solution if I need to leave him downstairs while I go upstairs for a shower/toilet etc. Otherwise he's like my shadow and can get quite hysterical if I try to persuade him to be braver.

Grateful if anyone has any suggestions!

I would make a big show of 'exploring' the house together. Looking in all the rooms/ cupboards / corners of concern and showing him that there is nothing there. You could then maybe both make a big sign saying 'No Monsters Allowed' & stick this near the door so that he can see than no monsters are allowed in the house. If he gets scared again, you can point to the sign & remind him that none are allowed in

ummm thanks whizz, one we haven't tried, and will give a go.

I was like this after seeing Carry On Screaming. I thought Od-Bod was going to get me. My parents just ignored it and it took literally years to go... I don't know what the answer is, but I am sure it will pass.

My ds2 who is 4 is starting to do this too, and he's a prety tough, independent boy. I'm not making a big thing of it but just reward him profusely if he does do something on his own.

I used to be petrified of going upstairs on my own. We lived in a massive house in Ireland and when you were upstairs, you were a long way from the kitchen and out of earshot as well. I used to be particularly scared of catching sight of my reflection in windows/mirrors/glass cabinets etc.

I've just finished dealing with a poor scaredy boy of 8; good looking, massively confident (apparently), great personality; could it be that they've got those horrible adult fears of 'ghosts' - someone behind/in front of them on the stairs or through a passageway? That's what poor gorgeous J had, but thought he was being silly & never told his parents. Also, don't know if this means anything to anyone but he got 'squashed by the dark' so I told him to close his eyes and push it up like a tent on every out breath until it was where he wanted it and then maintain it because once it was where it was needed it would just know... (yeah... tenous... I'm not a pro)