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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Potty training - I give up guessing, when do they wee after eating?

17 replies

notsolilKel · 10/01/2007 14:57

Hiya

Decided to get DS on the potty. Day 2 and we've caught a couple of wees...hooray!!! Luckily he seems to know that "doing a number one" means "make a wee now." So he does it, if there's anything in the tank!

Here's my issue though. I only have success so far after a nap or after he wakes in the morning. I'm wondering how to catch a wee (or, dare to dream it, a poo) after mealtime. I'm always too early or late.

I've heard a wee happens 20 minutes after drinking and a poo about 40 minutes after eating. Does that mean 20 minutes after you start, or finish, though?

My son normally has some milk an hour before his meal. So for example at 7am he'll have milk, and at 8 breakfast. I've tried putting him on the potty at 7:30, at 7:35, and nothing yet in the nappy or in the potty.

Any suggestions on timing this?

Also, any idea when to expect a poo?

Cheers

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WigWamBam · 10/01/2007 14:59

It's about like guessing how long is a piece of string. IME, when they have to go, they have to go - I didn't find it happened at any set time after eating or drinking.

How old is he?

Original poster

notsolilKel · 10/01/2007 16:05

10 mo - yeah I know it's a guessing game...

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 10/01/2007 16:54

Ten months?

I wouldn't be trying to potty train him yet, to be quite honest. For me, it was important that dd could tell me that she needed a wee, and could deal with her clothing herself. Otherwise it's not the child who is trained, it's you.

Madora · 10/01/2007 17:55

disagree. I started mine on the potty as soon as they could sit up. After every meal or milk feed initially, with books to look at to stave off boredom. Just because they can't dress themselves doesn't mean they can't ask you to take them to the loo and wipe their behinds. My girls were very happily trained at 1 yr. I strated my son (first child) far later and it was much harder and started with battles so I postponed until he was two and a half. If for no other reason, think of the environmental benefits.

NannyL · 10/01/2007 18:51

i dont think that any child i have ever looked after wees (or poos) 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 (or any other number of minutes) after eating / drinking at all

they do it as and when they feel like it!
at 10 months i would give up tbh!

Madora · 10/01/2007 20:15

The bowel reflex after eating is well known -but it doesn't have to be immediate - hence books while on the potty. I'd not make it more than 10-15 minutes though.

Original poster

notsolilKel · 11/01/2007 10:59

thanks for the encouragement WigWamBam

Seriously though I'm confident he's old enough to try. It's worked a few times already, after all. Plus it used to be the case that kids were always trained by 1 year old, apparently. I just can't face having a tantrum-y 2 or 3 year old still in nappies. Just MHO.

Anyway, for those who try this at 9-12mo it seems LOADS of patience and a bit of luck is what you need at first. Then it will become a habit. Will keep you posted...

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 11/01/2007 16:53

Sorry, I wasn't trying to be discouraging - just pointing out some of the practicalities!

I know there are people who swear by elimination communication; I also know through experience that with most children, potty training doesn't happen just because we as parents want it to. If the child is ready then that's fine - but it would be an unusual 10 month old who knew that he needed the toilet. And for me that was an important part of being ready to use the toilet - recognising the sensation of needing a wee and acting upon it.

If it works for you and you are happy then that's fine. Horses for courses and all that - I was just offering an opinion based on my experience.

colditz · 11/01/2007 16:59

You're wasting your time, mate. Do something a bit more constructive, like making daisy chains. Your baaby cnnot physically hold his urine or faeces yet. No babies are potty trained at one yeaar old, and never were. They did, however, used to be strapped to potties for hours at a time and slapped when they failed to stay clean.

Mumpbump · 11/01/2007 17:05

I am sure you can potty train early - there is a book in America on the subject. I remember seeing something about it before we had ds. BUT it is very labour intensive. Personally, I'm going to wait until next summer and give it a go when ds is at home (ds will be 18mo ish) because if he is outside, it doesn't matter as much... Good luck with it though!

Madora · 11/01/2007 18:01

Colditz, I'm sorry but I don't agree with you. If by potty-trained you mean that the child can take itself off to the loo then you are fight, but I know that 2 of mine and some children of friends started young so that the child was familiar and comfortable with using a potty or loo. And actually if a child can communicate at 1 why shouldn't they be able to say potty or wee when they think they need to go. And of course when they are that tiny they often have accidents or just put on the potty at the right time to avoid accidents. My potty was carried around in the back of my buggy for months - and so it was for many of my friends too. All children are ready at different times. My little girls were both in normal pants when they were just over 1 and dry at night by 2. It may have made it hard work initially but it has made it much easier later on - eg no smelly nappies. And I did not keep my children on the potty for hours or reproach them for accidents.

colditz · 11/01/2007 19:03

But why? Why bother? Why waste hours and hours of precious time, when you could be doing something far more fun than managing to predict when a baby is going to defecate?

colditz · 11/01/2007 19:05

if you wait until they are actually old enough to do it, they will go and sit on the potty themselves, and also can predict they need to use the toilet in enough time to actually get to one. Why would you want to carry a potty around for years?

Original poster

notsolilKel · 11/01/2007 19:22

Hi Colditz it's clear you've a strong opinion on this. I'm sorry but I'm not looking for reasons to delay training though!

IMO early training is worth a try, because it's better to get a dirty nappy off a person sooner rather than later. It's just not right to wear your excrement. I know from others' experiences that it really is possible without punishing the child, as you suggest, if you are just a little patient. Besides I don't think it takes much longer to put the LO on the potty for a moment than it does to change a nappy. My little guy seems to know after a couple of minutes whether he's got anything coming or not!

So anyway, today wasn't so bad. We were out a lot and still managed to catch a wee. Was so cute, he looked at me, smiled a huge smile, then weed right in the potty on cue. AWWWW

OP posts:

Original poster

notsolilKel · 12/01/2007 12:37

update - LO did a wee and a poo into the potty this morning right after we finished brekkie. WHOO HOO Must have felt like such a relief for him. Can you imagine having to sit in your own poo?? Blech...

OP posts:

Madora · 12/01/2007 13:33

Well done - glad you are giving it a go.

MyBeautifulBabyGirl · 01/02/2007 17:35

notsolilKel,

I just wanted to say yeh to another ECing mum
I find my five month old daughter tends to do her poo mid morning about 5 minutes after her mid morning nursing session. With her we get a couple of loud farts which signal me to put her on the potty.
In fact I realised today...it has been weeks since I had to last deal with a poo in a nappy?.bliss.

Colditz,

Luckily my daughter and all those Indian and Chinese babies who are ECed, didn?t read the book which told them that they couldn?t possible have any bladder control, so holding their wee doesn?t bother them ;)

Now I am not talking about ?cast iron hold it for hours? bladder control, I am referring to the hold it for 5 minutes (3 months old) to 15 minutes (five months old) until I have a chance to get her to a potty/toilet bladder control.

BTW ECing does not take hours a day in fact it is a lot faster than a nappy changes.

For Example.
EC
Pants down, nappy off, baby wees, wipe bottom, flush toilet, nappy on, pants up.

Nappy Change
Changing mat down, pants off, nappy off, wipes from bag, clean bottom, nappy from bag, nappy on, pants on, mat in bag, nappy/wipe put in bag, put bag in bin.

I understand that you think this alternative to using nappies is not for you and your children and that is your choice.

But please respect that this can and does work for the majority of the world?s babies and there is no reason it can?t work for ours.

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