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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

10 mnth old kicking me in the face when changing his nappy- how do I avoid slapping him on his bottom

23 replies

colette · 27/05/2004 14:33

Ds fights me when I am changing his nappy - now I remember dd did it too, but this is painful. He has just kicked me twice in the face , I give him toys for distraction , sing to him but he still fights. I am amazed at his aggression and strenghth. I dread changing his nappy , he also does it when I am changing his clothes. I don't think smacking will teach him anything but I need to get him to stop this as he will be a lot bigger before he is out of nappies.
How do I persuade him out of this he also pulls dds hair quite hard and I tell her "he is just a baby he doesn't know it hurts" but I am frightened he is going to turn into an aggresive little monster. I know he is still a baby but he hurts dd and me and I have had enough of it!!

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aloha · 27/05/2004 15:30

Colette, he has NO IDEA that his kicking hurts you or that the hair pulling hurts your dd - he just thinks it's fun and feels nice and if you yelp then that is also interesting to him. He cannot understand that you feel pain from his actions so a smack would really baffle him (and I think it would be pretty cruel if I'm totally honest). His actions aren't aggressive becauese he is too young to know that it hurts. Aren't you holding his legs in the air anyway? Keep your head out of range of his legs and hold him firmly. I am sure this will pass.

aloha · 27/05/2004 15:30

Also try not to react. He will be hugely entertained by any yelps and yells.

moosh · 27/05/2004 15:53

Ds did this to me,he found it highly amusing even though I didn't. I tend to agree with aloha he doesn['t realise and the more you react, the more he wil do it.But I never showed my ds that it bothered me because he was about the same age as your ds. I would just do the nappy change quickly and firmly. I would have ds in a leg lock (not aggressively before anyone jumps down my throat) but a firm lock and I would change him as fast as I possibly could. A leg lock worked for me even when he was 2 and he would fight me to get dressed, leg lock, get dressed everyone's happy.

magnum · 27/05/2004 15:57

My dd does this too. I just try and entertain her as best I can and even resort to giving her things to hold she's not usually allowed, like my phone or remote controls. They don't like having their nappies changed when they get to this age as they want to be busy exploring and just find it boring. he really isn't being spiteful on purpose and really doesn't understand he's hurting you. Don't smack him, please.

Blu · 27/05/2004 16:01

DS went through an impossible-to-change phase at exactly that age. It drove me mad! But persevere calmly and firmly and he will get over it....eventually! RE hair-pulling, culd you just calmly and fimly put her away from you and dd as soon as he pulls? That worked quickly in DS's short biting phase.
Good luck.

Penguin2 · 27/05/2004 16:23

Could you try changing the nappy standing sideways to your son? I have always done it that way, but I think most people stand by the feet which makes you a good target. I know it is hard to change your position, but I think it puts you in a better position for controlling him.
I also advocate giving him something unexpected to hold. Sometimes they are so surprised and interested in the object, they forget to make a fuss.

mears · 27/05/2004 16:27

I always changed nappies with babes lying across my knees, holding onto their feet. Never had a kicking problem because I think they felt too insecure to move too much

Northerner · 27/05/2004 16:33

Mears my best friend mastered the knee changing thing. I never quite got it...............

Original poster

colette · 27/05/2004 16:34

Thanks for your replies- I do know he is too young to understand that other people have feelings too . It is just easy to forget sometimes:0 . I will try the leglock methods

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Lara2 · 27/05/2004 19:37

My 2 both did this - my solution was to change them on the floor, and hold their forearms down very gently with my feet - no shoes obviously! It worked a treat - except when we were out and had to use changing table things! Just got frustrated then!!

strangerthanfiction · 27/05/2004 20:14

If it's any help, dd was awful about nappy changing at this age. She was able to stand though so I often changed her while she leaned against something which made it tricky for me but less frustrating for her. I have to say though that she's 19 months now and tells me when she's done a 'pootun' (poo), says 'bed, lie down' and lies there with a nappy in her hand waiting for me to change her. She even gives herself a little wipe with the cloth. So it does get better. I wouldn't even think about smacking or even getting cross, from what I've heard any major trauma at nappy changing time can lead to potty training problems later.

gettingthere · 27/05/2004 20:28

with mine i used to change it with him standing up and holding on to something, and (its hard to remember now) i think he grew out of doing it quite quickly. i think sometimes its just nice from their point of view to be out of hot nappies so they kick their legs just for the fun of it and because it feels different

Pook · 27/05/2004 20:51

My dd (10.5 months) is exactly the same - can't bear being on her back and is STRONG. It can be stressful if it's a particularly dirty nappy. I find the leg lock really difficult because my hands don't seem big enough/or she's freakishly wriggly).
I change her while she's standing more often than not. But the best thing I'vew found is to give her something to play with and to sing to her. Sometimes, we have to try and get the nappy on haphazardly while she's crawling, though Can't wait till she's walking........

Pook · 27/05/2004 20:52

Also, keep your body as far away as possible - unless he's got really really long legs, he won't be able to reach you.

Original poster

colette · 27/05/2004 21:01

Thanks for your replies- Pook I am having the same problem with the leglock- one hand doesn't seem enough. He is nearly standing so when he can I will try it that way

OP posts:

Posey · 27/05/2004 21:01

Can't add anything that hasn't been said re: the kicking.
Ds used to pull dd's hair and it really hurt. Fortunately she was big enough not to retaliate which I think helped. He just thought it was really funny. We very firmly said NO, removed him from her and slowly but surely he stopped doing it. Just keep calm, repeat the no's and you should see an improvement. Good luck.

Original poster

colette · 28/05/2004 17:10

Thanks Posey _ good to hear your ds improved. Ds is a hooligan already

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wiltshire · 29/05/2004 01:57

Mine is only 8 months old and he's a kicker already. I have found that by holding his feet together in a footlock is good. He cries but, guess what a clean bum is better. I may be wrong at this point, as you lot are a good 2 months ahead of me, but my DS was kicking the hell out of everything. So far so good but reading this makes me think that I have loads of bridges to cross!

moosh · 30/05/2004 08:43

The way I would leg lock is to have him on the floor and to have my feet firmly on his arms but I knew how much pressure to apply. My legs were slightly bent, (this was 3 years ago so trying to remember) at the knee and he would not cry but try to wriggle and get away so that and the changing him standing up were the only methods that worked. But be really quick though will apply the same method to ds2 when he gets to be a wriggler.

MaybeBaby5 · 27/07/2010 22:10

I'm glad I'm not the only one I am trying the 'ignore and hope for the best tactic' and trying to hold the legs to stop kicking but my little one is really strong and kicks quite hard so quite a challenge and then finds it funny. I find that if i do it in front of the television to a favourite song (wonder pets/night garden/dora) it distracts for a few moments and then change really quickly...

madmothership · 28/07/2010 02:42

you could change his nappy and dress him over your knee, on his tummy - he won't be able to kick you quite so well or get out of the change being done - he may even find it funny...

madmothership · 28/07/2010 02:43

oh my goodness this thread is 6 yrs old - why am i answering it, why is it here...?

AllllTheStupidQuestions · 14/04/2021 14:36

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