Constant crying in 2yr 9mo. Please help!

[LindsayS79]

My DD is hitting the terrible twos big time at the moment and it's really getting me down. Looking for any tips that worked for you please.
Do they understand consequences at that age? It's horrible to say but I'm glad I'm going to work today. She was screaming the place down as I left. All because her toy monkey was downstairs and she was insisting it was in her room. Even bringing it to her done nothing as she was in full blown screaming mode.
She doesn't talk, she just moans. For example, when asking for water, it's a whine.
It's really getting me down as I'm getting to the point that I'm not enjoying being with her and that's horrible. I don't know how to handle it. Any tips please?

This is normal (sorry) but there are some that get it worse than others.

Might she be tired or hungry? DD was awful at that age because we (wrongly) thought she'd dropped her nap... once we got the nap back (using buggy) she improved a lot.

I resolutely ignore any 'requests' from DD (3) that come out as a whine or worse, a command. She now knows so immediately corrects herself if I just give her a look.

This technique has had an amazing effect on DS (2), who has said "Please can I have..." and "Thank you mama" from the moment he started speaking.

I agree with BrightandEarly. You need to be firm and let her know that she won't get what she wants unless it's asked for nicely. Be prepared for meltdowns at first if she's been used to having it her own way for a while but she will soon get the idea providing you are absolutely consistent.

As for consequences I would say she is definitely old enough to understand them.

Thank all. I was wondering if I could use something as a consequence to show that bad behaviour doesn't win i.e bringing her in from playing in the garden etc
We are going on our first family holiday this weekend and I'm completely dreading the flight... She doesn't care about her surroundings when in full mode and gets so angry that she foams at the mouth. Walking away from her in the house makes her angrier! I don't know what other methods to use!

Absolutely yes to understanding consequences at that age, especially if they are spelt out.

But also, acknowledge her feelings and explain them back to her. I use lots of 'I understand that you are upset because you want to stay at the park, but we have to go home and you have to let me put you in the car seat'. I'm not saying that she lets me put her in the car seat of course

IME (admittedly only of 2 kids, one of whom is a really high maintenance 2 yo), they need to know that you are not bending to their every back and call, but also that you very genuinely care and understand.