Incidents at school

[whoopsfallenoveragain]

How do you deal with your dc if the have been fighting? do you leave it to the school to deal the necessary punishment or do you punish at home too?
Although I'm looking at the word punishment and wondering if it is too harsh.

It would depend very much on the circumstances: If my dc was fighting due to provocation or self defense then I certainly wouldn't punish.
If it was a normal boy get cross, have a punch up and then be friends again, I wouldn't punnish. If they had beaten someone up without reason then I would. It also depends on how old they are and how often it happens. Lots of variables really.

The odd fight is perfectly ok imo, part of growing up.

Depends on age and frequency etc. I would be inclined to do something at home just to reinforce i agree with school.

I think I would make it clear that I wasn't happy if DS was involved in any fight & make sure he understood that.
Whether I added any 'extra' punishment, would depend on the nature of the fight (provoked, un-provoked, severity etc)

ds is 5 and hit a girl in the mouth her lip I believe was bleeding, I don't know the full details as he was at the after school club from a different school so I was just passed a message.
He is due to see the head in the morning as he wasn't there this afternoon and it isn't the first time he has had a run in with this girl.
ds tells me that she was pushing him while they were lining up for pe but it was also mentioned that his behaviour hadn't been at all good today.
We had been seeing a behavioural nurse as I wondered if he was hyperactive but she didn't make a follow up appointment as she didn't think he had a problem but I may give her a call tomorrow.

Any updates?

Sorry didn't think to update
I spoke to the headmaster and was there when he spoke to ds yesterday morning (wanted to make sure he was dealt with firmly!) he spoke to him and told him that he would have to sit in the office during break time but he would be allowed to take a toy or something with him (I wasn't happy with him having something to play with though but it had been said so went along with it but am going to speak to him again and say that I want him to have to sit and be able to thing about his actions)
I spole to the nurse and as I expected she mentioned how it came down to the difference of the way dh & I discipline ds and how I seem to be a pushover so felt crap about speaking to her but she is going to speak to ds's teacher
I do need to do something about ds's behaviour while he is out with me as he ran riot in the supermarket & ran into the road although for once he did stop when I screamed at him to

Bit harsh I think taking this to headmaster stage. My Ds also 5 Hit a boy in his class on wed. The other child tried to grab something from my DS, He got a wack for it. My DS then burst into tears, realising he'd done wrong, and hurt someone, apologised for his actions. The teacher mentioned it to me after school, and said it hadall been dealt with, so leave it behind. Everyday, on the walk to school I find myself reminding my DS Walk away, walk away. If someone hits you, walk away tell teacher, if someone pushes walk away tell teacheretc etc But he is a big boy, and the little ones never seem to get pulled up for their actions on my DS

Ds was going to be going to the headteacher anyway and also it isn't the first time he has hit out. He seemily hit or went to hit someone shortly after the visit to the head too.