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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2year old not eating

10 replies

lisaABC · 09/01/2007 11:03

i am a childminder looking after a 2year old girl that wont eat anything at all except from junk food but very little of that so mum still gives her up to 6 bottles of formula milk a day when she is with me i dont give her the milk and will occasionally eat a meal but not with out reaching and being sick everywhere as a ressult has trouble going to the toilet she also is very withdrawn from other children and wont play with the other children she only plays on her own any ideas for a solution!!!!

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LieselVonTrapp · 09/01/2007 11:22

I found it hard to get my 2 yr old to sit down and eat a meal so I just used to give her a piece of toast in her hand or some chopped up apple while she was playing. Dont know if that would help

sunnysideup · 09/01/2007 11:23

Separate the two issues I think; the playing on her own and being withdrawn from others can be completely normal at this age. I know many kids do interact more, but playing alone is very usual for a two year old. I wouldn't worry about this, certainly not yet.

With the eating, the mum obviously knows there is a problem...could you suggest that you tackle it as a team? You could present it to her that you could be there as extra support and when you are tackling a parenting problem it is SO helpful not to be doing it alone.

I'm not setting myself up as an expert on changing eating habits but I do think the crux of the whole matter is the mum working with you to tackle it so I think you need to be extremely diplomatic and supportive and see if you can get an agreement to tackle things....is this girl always sick when she retches? If not, it could be a case of reassuring the mum that retching is a very normal reaction to solid food...some parents get panicky about it and think it means the child is choking...

obviously the solution is as you are starting already, not to offer exessive amounts of milk so that she will eat more. You're on the right tracks.

Aloha · 09/01/2007 11:24

Has she had her two year check yet? Was that OK? How is she with you? Has she seen her GP? Is this a physical problem or a phobia, I wonder?

shosha · 09/01/2007 11:47

Message withdrawn

Original poster

lisaABC · 09/01/2007 12:02

thankyou for all your messages unfortunately i have tried all the things suggested mum knows theres a problem but denies theres a problem at the same time have suggested several things for her to do at home like a beaker of juice with her dinner worked for a while and apple while she plays doesnt work because she will push it away and she can easily stand in the same place for an hour or more and do nothing if im with the other children and she womt join in

OP posts:

shosha · 09/01/2007 14:40

Message withdrawn

helenhismadwife · 09/01/2007 14:57

if it was just a case of her not eating it wouldnt be so worrying but the fact that she is filling up on milk means she is not going to eat so its a bit of a vicious circle. It almosts sounds to me like there is some sort of phobia

Unless the mother is prepared to work with you there isnt really a lot you can do, other than saying that you are very concerned about her well being and that it is not usual and you are not happy to continue giving her formula milk its a not good for a child her age

not a great situation to be in

Original poster

lisaABC · 14/01/2007 18:12

bump

OP posts:

Rosylily · 14/01/2007 18:28

Ahh poor little girl. My 2 year old eats loads, in fact more than my 4 year old though they both also have lots of milk. I don't know what you can do, maybe give her the junk food she likes and gradually introduce other stuff without drawing attention to it. Water the milk down?

CillaField · 14/01/2007 21:02

Reply to original lisaABC's problem: as a child-minder you're in a rather difficult position. Seems to me it's the parents, rather than the child who need 'training'! I have 3 children, all of whom have gone through fussy phases, usually around the 2-year-old stage. What I have tended to do is to treat all meal-times as absolutely normal occasions that everyone shares and that everyone behaves in a similar way during the meal ie eat up dinner, nice chat, no toys at the table, no getting up til dinner finished. If any of my children refused their food I would try a bit of coaxing then simply remove but offer them no alternative - 'this aint a cafe', being the message sent out by me. No dessert is allowed and - more importantly - no milk, if dinner is not eaten (or at least sampled - they need to taste these things they seem to detest at first). It does work and if done with the minimum of fuss and comment it just becomes part of everyday life and the child will eventually just get on with it!

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