21 months old, won't stay in her bed,*help*!!!

[bumbobear]

My DD has always gone to sleep in her cot with little or no fuss. About 1 month ago we put her in her 'big girl's', bed but for most of this time she has been unwell. Because she has been ill when she has woken up coughing we have been concerned and therefore ended up sleeping in her room. Now she's getting better we want to get back into a normal routine but every time we put her in bed she comes to the top of the stairs crying. We are backwards and forwards 40+ times every night and getting her to bed is taking a couple of hours. She is driving us mad and we are beginning to snap at her, then feel upset with ourselves. We are willing to try anything!!!

My ds started doing this when he realised he could climb out of his cot. Luckily he wasn't crying just getting up to play. We would pick him up say bedtime, absolutely no other talking or negotiating, and put him straight back and leave the room. This also went on for a couple of hours but it started getting shorter and was sorted after 2weeks. That was 6 months ago and he still never gets up. Sorry - no great advice just wanted to say there is light at the end of the tunnel. If she is crying is there anything that would make her room seem more comforting to her - nightlights, special teddy to cuddle.
By the way dd was good sleeper until she got a cold at 18 months and started sleeping in our bed. She stayed there until she was 3 because we always gave up on trying to get her back to her bed and all the crying. So that is why we were determinded to perservere with ds.

Thanks lizalu, glad to hear it's not just my dd. will take ur advice and just persivere, will have to try to not loose my rag!!! Well it's that time again, bath and bed, may be sometime!! thanks again.

Wondreing how you are getting on. When I said 'he never gets up' I forgot that over Christmas I went to stay at my mums and due to being in travel cot, different room he did get up all the time. Very frustrating, all I wanted to do was have a glass of wine and catch up with my family, who I don't see much, after along day with the dc's. Spent all 3 evenings up and down the stairs.

When we originally did putting ds back in his cot me and dp would take turns. He would do it one night and I would do my best to switch off. On my turn I would do things that it didn't matter if I was interrupted like reading magazines, surfing the net but would not try and watch tv or talk on the phone. Give it a week or two.

Hiya, last night was the worst, i completly lost it and screamed at dd. Worst thing i could have done i know but at that point it was 2300, my dp was on nights and i lost it
dd started to cry again and i began blubbering cos felt so bad. i sat half way down the stairs blubbing, dd went silent, slid down stairs, put her hand on my shoulder, tilted her head and gave me the sweetist smile (little bugger!!!) We had cuddles, i apolagised for shouting and then she went to bed. Tonight completly changed tak, she had her bath, milk and a story lights out and neither of us spoke to her and we just whispered to each other. she was asleep b4 dp left for work at 2100. still up and down 4 an hr but much better. just hoping she stays asleep now. is your ds back to normal routine now?

My DS is 57 months old (nearly 5 really) and he still comes into my bed. He went to bed fine last night, but by 12am he woke up saying he had a really bad nightmare and needed a cuddle. We woke up at 6am this morning so there was no point in sending him back then.

They're not daft are they??!! am sure they wait until they know your too tired to bother putting them back in their own bed. Better luck tonight! touch wood, dd still asleep

I know what you're going through. my dd is 2.10 yrs and she is normally really good at bed times but since new years days she has been getting out of her bed like a yo-yo and i am honestly not exagerating when i say its about 100 times within an hour! its usually taking 1 - 1.5 hours to get her to bed and i am struggling to remain calm infact more often then not i have totally lost it with her and could seriously do her harm. i am now dreading the evenings and wonder what happened to my once good girl. i am desperately trying to stick to super nannies technique but am struggling.

sorry no real tips - just had to have a rant!! hope your dd is not driving you too mad tonight.

hi vindaloo, how did it go last night? not wanting to be smug but my dd didn't get up again after 2100, thank god. managed to stay perfectly calm when she was up and down tho.
forgot to mention last night but we turned t.v. off aswell until she was asleep, don't know if it helped much but am trying everything. totally understand what you mean bout dreading bedtimes!good luck tonight i'ii be here if you need a chat

Bumbobear, sorry you had one horrible night but well done you for sticking with it and with results!!
My ds went straight back to normal routine when we got back from my mums - thank goodness. At my mums dd was sharing room with ds and she was complaining he was keeping her awake and she wanted some peace and quiet to go to sleep. This is the dd that slept in our bed until 3yr!

Hi there, to be honest I have abandoned the super nanny technique for now. I didnt mention this before that my parents have been staying with me for a few months and I think that is the major problem. Since they have been staying with me my usual bedtime routine (and actually all my usual routines!!) have not gone to plan. Maybe dd likes all the attention and also its hard to discipline her the way i normally would as grandparents seem to ruin that!! its incredibly frustrating not having my space.

My parents are meant to be leaving in the next couple of weeks so I am hoping that getting some sense of normality may help dd to go back to being a good girl at bedtimes. We will soon find out!!