Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Crying during films

49 replies

expatinscotland · 06/01/2007 23:42

DD1 is 3.5.

Tonight, she was watching 'Ice Age' on TV whilst we were both at home getting baby ready for bed, folding the washing, etc.

I thought she was just sighing over it. She was just in the living room (this is a smallish flat all on one level).

Then I heard DH say, 'She's greetin' (crying). She's in a right state.'

She wasn't frightened - she leaves when she's frightened of something she sees or comes running to one of us, but she was sobbing her eyes out, almost to the point of being sick.

She wouldn't say what triggered it and I've not seen this film so I can't say.

I had to hold her on my lap and cuddle her for some time.

Is this normal?

I know wee ones cannot tell imaginary from fantasy too well, but she was really carrying on.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PinkTulips · 07/01/2007 00:10

sorry, typing appalling

hotandbothered · 07/01/2007 00:10

Dd is also fascinated with death imaginaryfriend. She asks 'is he old' then 'will he die soon?' Have found myself in quite tricky situations trying to explain different levels of 'oldness' ie dogs don't live as long as humans etc.. Also dd asked my mum how old she was. She replied 'oh very old' (jokingly) Dd 'oh are you going to die soon then?' I was mortified!

Peridot30 · 07/01/2007 00:10

Misdee Us scots have a different language altogether. I am scottish and it baffles me sometimes!!

PinkTulips · 07/01/2007 00:11

but why not just sit with her and gently remind her of the fact that it's pretend when she gets upset rather than banning any even slightly upsetting movie?

imaginaryfriend · 07/01/2007 00:13

dp's always saying that PT. The thing is that they aren't able to distinguish fact from fiction at this age. The fact that you can remember crying means you were probably older than 5 because we don't remember much before 5.

But even now as an adult there are subjects in films I don't go near because they upset me too much - usually things that involve horrible things happening to children / torture / violence. The way they stay in your mind is awful and I don't want to open that door in dd's mind until she's got more of understanding of truth / fiction.

Original poster

expatinscotland · 07/01/2007 00:14

I haven't banned anything.

It's the first time it happened.

I dunno.

I just remember even now how upset that Bambi shit made me, even though I was told it was just pretend.

OP posts:

imaginaryfriend · 07/01/2007 00:16

HAB, is she bothered by death though or just interested? I could handle the interest but I find it hard to find words to reassure her about something which is essentially quite frightening.

PT, it's impossible of course to protect kids from everything sad. But you can try to censor a little at this age, just in the same way you'd censor violence or swearing.

PinkTulips · 07/01/2007 00:21

sorry the banning comment was in response to HAB's remarks about warnings for sad material in films, i'm not typing fast enough!

Califrau · 07/01/2007 01:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DetentionGrrrl · 07/01/2007 11:42

i watched Watership Down in school when i was around 5. I got so upset that they had to send for my mother to take me home.

I've just always been very soppy. Stand By Me was another one that used to get me (still does) i haven't grown out of it either- i cry at the end of Night of the Living Dead when they kill the black man.

shosha · 07/01/2007 11:57

Message withdrawn

hotandbothered · 07/01/2007 21:21

PT - I don't want to ban any films but it would be good to know what we were letting ourselves in for. If it's really sad/upsetting then I would make sure I could watch it properly with dd to explain/comfort as it went along rather than watching with half an eye while I get jobs done... I have to agree with Imaginaryfriend - we know our children best and have a good idea of what would be OK and what would put them in a state - I'm sure some kids are much more robust about dealing with some issues than others. eg. our dd hates Brum after we watched an episode where they were carrying mannequins - she was terrified.

brandy7 · 07/01/2007 21:24

ds aged 2.3 watched ice age,totally transfixed by it. he kept saying "i want baby" and looking realy sad and going up to the t.v and sticking his bottom lip out and fake crying. still saying "i want baby" this morning! cant believe he remembered it

imaginaryfriend · 07/01/2007 23:35

I keep remembering all the films that have brought on tears in dd.

The end of The Snowman when the snowman melts.

And Watership Down, surprisingly not the part when a rabbit dies but the part near the beginning when Fiver imagines the fields becoming covered in blood.

Often I've found the things that upset dd are quite surprising. The snowman not at all of course but the Watership Down was odd. Plus a section in a film called Five Children and It in which a man is arrested and holds his hand in a strange way led her to refusing to even discuss watching the film again.

Weird, isn't it?

Fubsy · 07/01/2007 23:50

DD (5) cried buckets at a budget film her granny sent her for Christmas about Rudolph - she thought it was unfair when the other reindeer wouldnt let him play the games!

And we both cry at the DR Who episode with Madame de Pompadour where the Dr goes back for her but gets there just after she dies.

You never know when something will stir emotions in an adult let alone a child - I think its best to comfort them but also to let them talk their feelings through if they want to.

PinkTulips · 08/01/2007 10:53

sorry HAB, it was late and i was being unneccesarily aggressive

of course you know your child best and no-one wants to see their lo's upset, least of all about a film. i've still got it all ahead of me so lord knows how i'll cope, probably start crying too knowing me!

just to reassure you though, what i was trying to say was i honestly never had any lasting effects from watching a sad movie and crying when i was little (and i remember doing it loads, both before and after the age of 5 that someone mentioned) i'd normally just blub for a while then be fine afterwards, i might remember the movie as being sad and not want to see it again (bambi ) but i didn't have nightmares or dwell on it iykwim?

hotandbothered · 08/01/2007 15:20

No worries Pinktulip! I always regret what I have written the second it is posted I find what I wanted to say never comes out quite right - it's never quite what I meant... Guess it's all these years of no essay writing etc... get out of the habit of clarifying thoughts before committing to paper.

filthymindedvixen · 08/01/2007 15:26

my ds (now 9) used to sob his heart out at anything (jungle book! (the poor boy is floating down the river away from his mummy)

We had to wait til everyone had left the cinema once because he sobbbed so much at the theme music to Shrek (it's sooo sad music mummy)!

Now, he's 9 and I worry because he doesn't find stuff moving anymore: ''er, mum, why would it upset me? Like, they're acting mum. Durrr''

ho hum.

Original poster

expatinscotland · 08/01/2007 15:28

Yesterday, we went to McDonald's. Yes, I fed her there.

Someone left a beautiful Staffie bitch tied up outside.

That poor animal was shivering in the cold!

Those bastards!

I said, 'Oh, poor wee soul! That's so cruel to do that. '

DD1 started crying again!

She kept saying, 'Aw, poor doggie!'

OP posts:

filthymindedvixen · 08/01/2007 15:29

see, I'd probably cry at that expat. I cry at everything

Original poster

expatinscotland · 08/01/2007 15:34

It didn't make me want to cry.

It made me want to take the dog.

OP posts:

filthymindedvixen · 08/01/2007 15:43

well yeas, after chaining the owner to the railings and leaving him there instead

Original poster

expatinscotland · 08/01/2007 15:44

I can't imagine doing that to an animal whilst I fed my fat arse.

And I don't even like dogs.

OP posts:

imaginaryfriend · 08/01/2007 22:04

My dd would have cried at that dog too expat. She's crazy about animals. I've often felt sad that my dd gets so upset by things but like I said earlier it also makes her a passionate child in more positive ways too.

PT I still don't agree with you. Dd has got upset beyond the tears during a film, she's mentioned it later, replayed the particular scenario in games and cried all over again and generally made me wish I hadn't shown her the darned thing in the first place.

Flip

1 2