Crying during films

[expatinscotland]

DD1 is 3.5.

Tonight, she was watching 'Ice Age' on TV whilst we were both at home getting baby ready for bed, folding the washing, etc.

I thought she was just sighing over it. She was just in the living room (this is a smallish flat all on one level).

Then I heard DH say, 'She's greetin' (crying). She's in a right state.'

She wasn't frightened - she leaves when she's frightened of something she sees or comes running to one of us, but she was sobbing her eyes out, almost to the point of being sick.

She wouldn't say what triggered it and I've not seen this film so I can't say.

I had to hold her on my lap and cuddle her for some time.

Is this normal?

I know wee ones cannot tell imaginary from fantasy too well, but she was really carrying on.

aww poor love. dd1 was about 4 the first time she cried at a film. It was a rugrats one where chuckie needs a mommy (paris i think). she was sobbing again the other night watching 'life size' as the doll had to go back (doll comes to life, becomes like a mummy figure to a girl blah blah blah)

I felt awful, misdee, for letting her watch that.

It seemed so innocuous.

She had her first real nightmare about a month ago.

She wouldn't say what it was about, but we both had to go in and sit w/her a while.

My sister is a teacher for 10-year-olds and a mother of two pre-teen girls herself and told me that, to them, the monsters really are real so you should take them seriously and not chide them or blow them off when they're frightened.

But she wasn't frightened, she was saddened and it was horrible.

dd1 first cried at a film when she watched monsters inc, you know when boo has to go home and they shred the door so the big blue one (forgot his name )coulnd't see her anymore

I must admit thought I am very wimpy and just assumed she had taken after me.

I hope she doesn't have a nightmare over it.

She's very clingy to us these days, especially to her Daddy, who looks after her during the days.

My ds and dd quite often cry at films. Dd if she is frightened and ds if it is sad. He says things like, oh I think I have something wrong with my eyes, they just keep watering all the time.

I'm terrible for crying at films or anything remotely sad actually, Ice Age made me cry and I only caught the end of it! Lassie was banned in our house when I was a kid, because I would get so completely hysterical, little has changed 30 years later.

it shows she has a good imagination

Dd used to get hysterical, inconsolable in fact, at 18 months over a Teletubbies DVD which involved a harp which all the tubbies played then it played by itself on a hill and slowly disappeared into the clouds. She'd beg and beg to see it and cry every time. Since then she's consistently got upset about things she sees. My mum took us to see a little panto at Christmas, Wizard of Oz, and at the point where the lion, tin man and scarecrow say goodbye to Dorothy she was again in pieces. She's 4 now. On the plus side her sentimentality means she's a very loving child.

I loved the 'greetin' btw

oh poor dd expat. I seem to remember ds getting upset the first time he realised what was going on in the film. There are a few quite sad bits- sad enough to make me fill up, although I am a big wimp

Sad bits:
1 mum rescues baby from tigers but dies herself
2 flashback where you realise the mammoth had a family but the hunters killed them and he gets sad
3 when they think the tiger is dead
4 when the animals have to say good bye to the baby when he finds his dad

Poor little thing. Do you think she could have understood and been upset by any of this? She might tell you more about it when she hs calmed down tomorrow, and you could gently probe by asking about one of the above.

Please don't feel bad, it is a children's film and a U certificate, isn't it?

Oh bless her! Don't worry too much about it, it's completely normal. My youngest charge used to suddenly burst into tears while i was reading her a story, and we wouldn't know why. Somtimes they get sooo wrapped up in the story, that their emotions get the better of them. And tbh, it's good for children to use their emotions, as i think it makes them more able to deal with certain situations in later life.
xx

dont feel awful. i remember getting upset over a film about a catapiller called charlotte. dd1 is a very senstive little girl, sounds like your dd1 may be as well.

dd1 said 'it just made me feel all sad inside mummy, as chucky didnt have mommy and he wants one so much'

o dear she sounds like me. i've always blubbed at films even when i was a kid.... my friends used all think it was hilarious. i still cry at everything.... even soaps i don't like! dp finds it highly amusing

I vaguely remember crying at Bambi, but I was a bit older than DD1.

Mama had to take me home. Apparently I got so worked up I couldn't go back in there.

And it was right at the beginning when his Mama got shot.

Horrible!

I think it's meant to be around 3.5, developmentally, that their sense of security founders a bit so nightmares and irrational fears suddenly appear. Most kids have a phase of being afraid of the dark around this age I believe although that's not been a problem for us so far. I think the 'unknown' becomes more real. Dd began to talk about death and dying at 3.5 which was very sad.

She's not afraid of the dark. Yet.

I am.

Always have been. For as long as I can remember.

Some people find it comforting.

I find it terrifying.

I think she's starting to twig about death, b/c she's doing this at night where she calls out till you come in and just says, 'K, you're here. I need to sleep.'

Apparently it can resurface when they're a bit older.

My niece is now 12 and quite clever.

When she was about 8, my sister said she went through a phase where she would creep out of bed in the night to check that her Mama and Daddy were still there, in their beds.

my older 2 are forever sneaking out at nightto check daddy is still there, i can see them from my door sneaking down the hallway. dd3 was in my bed last night, and i heard her creep off and go and check as well lol.

We wnt to see Happy feet b4 Christmas as my 5year old ds wanted to see it we took dd age 3.2 with us too not thinking she would follow too much however she followed it better than ds and was crying during it when penguin was getting chased and also when it lost its mum. I thought this was bizarre.

Our dd has definately started to imagine things and at the mo hears something roaring when she is in bed. She is 3.5 - guess we'll hit the crying in films thing too... I wish they'd say at the beginning of filma if they are suitable/contain sador slightly scary bits. It's not always practical to veta film first. We didn't watch ice age tonight because we haven't seen it and didn't know if dd would be scared. She watched the BFG over Christmas tho and loved it. We watched together and only 10-15 mins at a time. She was always very keen to see what happened next and asked loads of really deep questions...

See, Peri, I didn't think DD1 would follow this so much, either.

I thought she'd just like the funny scenes.

When it came on we were taking down the Xmas deccies as a family and she said, 'I like this! I want to see this!'

And I thought, 'Cool. This is cute.'

But I guess that whole thing where the boy's Daddy is looking for him shook her up.

She wasn't frightened. She was saddened.

is 'greetin' a scottish phrase btw?

Dd was never bothered by the dark at all but now she's aware of, say, going downstairs when there are no lights on which she doesn't like the thought of. Plus the noise the toilet makes after it's flushed, a kind of hissy gurgling noise. The talking about death was very hard to take, it usually happened at bedtime and would always involve tears and her asking things like 'how will I get to Heaven if you've already died?' / 'is Heaven inside or outside?' / 'Will my eyes be closed if I'm dead'. Now she mentions it about once a month, usually when she's feeling a bit vulnerable.

Yes, it is, misdee.

DH uses it all the time instead of crying.

Took me a bit to suss out what he meant.

His Irish relatives say 'keening'.

Happy Feet was bloody awful for dd. That part where he's in the zoo / aquarium and is just shuffling around was so upsetting for her that we had to leave. Someone told me after that it gets a happy ending shortly after!

but why shelter them from it? it didn't damage me to cry at films and be quite upset... i'm just a paticulrily empathic person and it showed up even when i was a kid. it's not a bad thing! i still sob when i get ispca leaflets or watch ER, it doesn't affect the rest of my life.

But you know it's just a movie/TV show, Pink.

I don't think they have that sussed out just yet.