4 years old - doesn't talk.

[Blink191984]

My 4 year old boy, doesn't talk. Hardly says 40-50 words.
Other things are kind of normal. Eats well, uses toilet fine. Plays well. Emotions are ok too.
I am scared that the school is trying to point out towards Autism. But i feel thats its a delay.
What should i do ??

Blink
'yes. With his gestures etc, he is brilliant in communicating. But not verbally'

Somehow that ability to interact with you in the way you describe, must mean understands you well e.g. he is not just locked inside his own mind. That seems positive.

Does he have any more short phrases like, 'Let's go'?

Like Strawberry says Blink
Getting your son assessed won't change him. He'll still be your lovely boy - no matter what happens.
I can understand how worried you must be Blink, but I agree so much. Your little boy sounds really lovely.

The OP said he is going to be assessed in a couple of weeks, Strawberry.

Last year the school psychologist evaluated him and concluded that, everything looks ok. He is a bit delayed because of the language change. As he had a good understanding of French and English both.

blink, I would really want to get him assessed by a developmental paediatrician. school Psychologists (guess I think this is the same as an educational psych in the UK) aren't really there to diagnose developmental disorders. this is the remit of a paed. I have a DC with SN and a 4 year old with such a limited vocabulary would very much concern me.

also, ASD (if it is that) is not the end of the world. whatever it is, you need to get him properly assessed.

coffeemachine, thanks for the input. I have planned an evaluation with a speech Therapist and another overall development evaluation.
I am just worried after hearing experiences of some mothers, where the doctors concluded it to be Autism and put the child in a special school. Several mothers complain that the evaluation wasn't done properly and the doctors decided on the basis of what was told by the school psychologist. Without an evaluation at home.

there are (at least in the UK) proper assessment tools to assess for ASD (e g. Ados). The process is usually rather thorough and I'd think Belgium does have a proper assessment pathway too. if he has ASD then he has ASD. it won't change who he is.
you seem to be utterly terrified by the possibility it may be autism. he is 4. he cannot talk. it may not be autism but learning difficulties or a speech/language disorder (or something completely different). but a lot of the 'alternatives' to ASD aren't better or worse. I don't understand why ASD in particular scares you so much. whatever you call it. not properly addressing it won't make it go away.
My DC attends special school and it is fine. she would not fit into mainstream. I don't understand why you take so much offence to the possibility of him attending a special school.

sometimes children grow out of their difficulties but sometimes they don't and as parents we have to face this and rise to this challenge. I have been there. I am not talking from hear say. good luck

Blink are you worried that a possible wrong diagnosis, based on a school psychologist's one sided report (without a home evaluation), might lead to your child being treated inappropriately/put in the wrong school for him?

The only thing to do is what you planned. Take one step at a time, and see what the Speech Therapist and overall developmental therapists say first.

I wonder if the developmental one is a paediatrician like CofeeMachine suggests.

I agree with zzzzz. It's clear you know very little about autism and specialist schools. That's ok, not many people do until their child is found to be on the spectrum but it's definitely worth educating yourself about it all before you deem asd to be the end of the world!

I can only dream of getting my son a special school place - I am currently appealing against the local authority to try and get him a very much sought after place in a special school.

It was autism week on bbc last week - lots of good programmes on iplayer - a word, Louis Theroux documentary, horizon living with autism. Asd takes many shapes and forms, some far more debilitating than others.

Your little one may or may not have asd but it really isn't the end of the world you think it can be.

IMO ignoring your child's difficulties because their disability horrifies you is awful

She is not ignoring the difficulty her child is having though zzzzz. She is getting assessments done.

That was a very interesting film zzzzz and very helpful to show how individual the children are in how ASD affects them.

What Fairy says about the BBC autism week being available on iplayer sounds very helpful in aiding awareness and understanding of ASD.

This link seems to show a way to be able to watch iplayer from abroad, though maybe you already have something set up. www.tvexpat.eu/watch-bbc-iplayer-from-outside-the-uk

I would be very worried if someone mentioned autism in relation to my child and I think that's normal, the fact that others on here have children with autism they love and adore doesn't negate that worry.

Blink I read the article posted by kind dogs tail, and the it described my DS1 very well, but my DS1 does also have autism.

My son also used to lead me by the hand to things to get his needs met, but when he still wasn't talking by 2.5 years old, we embarked upon speech therapy for him. Once a week by a professional and intensively in between by me. By the time he was 4, he was talking in single words and started reception class with a PECS folder to help him communicate. He's now 5 and talks pretty well - within the normal range.

He is also bilingual in Chinese and English. My DS2, who doesn't have autism, is also bilingual and started talking sooner than most.

If it turns out that your DS has autism, that wouldn't change the fact that he's still the lovely boy that he is today. My DS1 is the best son I could have wished for. He loves hugs, plays the piano wonderfully and is a great big brother.

The leading by the hand would worry me - my autistic Godson does this. But it is impossible to judge from a brief posting here, even if i was expert, which I most certainly am not. I know quite a few children on the autistic spectrum, all but one are in mainstream school, doing fine, and not spotable as "different" in any obvious way. DD has a school mate who has Aspergers and I really would not have known if DD hadn't told me. I've not spent lots of time with her, but she is happy in her class, doing well academically, and has friends. So even if you do get a diagnosis of ASD, then it is not by any means the end of the world. It just means that your child will need appropriate support to fit his specific needs.

I am not terrified by Autism or any other disorder.

I am terrified from what i have heard from others experiences in Belgium. Here several mothers complain of wrong diagnosis, and quick evaluation.

your DS has been seen by school psychologist and is due to be seen by SALT. you said further developmental evaluation is planned. so he will have been seen by various people. and given that he is 4 and barely talking I would rather be bothered about the slowness of the process. given the level of difficulty he has, it is anything but fast.

how many mums you know personally whose DC has received a wrong diagnosis? guess not many.

I know how you are feeling. I felt like that when my son was referred for assessment age 2. I didn't go ahead with it because of my fears. Everyone was saying to me that you can not trust the assessment/diagnosis. I had my son assessed at age four and my experience was very different to what people had been telling me. The people who assessed my son were very good and I do believe the diagnosis to be correct. I regret not having him assessed at age 2.

Take a lot of evidence with you of what your son can and can not do. Take notes and also take video evidence. Read a lot about the things that could be causing his language delay so you understand what they may be looking for when they assess him. Be prepared for it.

Good luck for the assessment Blink. Tacal's advice about evidence seems very helpful.

Thanks everyone

The assessment is 1 week away. I am making videos and collecting his painted stuff to show to the doctors.

Fingers crossed.
Thanks for sending all the suggestions and experiences. It helps alot.

Do they use Makaton in Belgium? That is really good for children who are non verbal, as a way of communicating. Hope the assessments go well