DS1 is scared of EVERYTHING - How do i help him?

[Charleesunnysunsun]

Hi is 2.4 and scared of his own shadow! Everything scares him and makes him cry, i'm not sure if it is just a phase of what.

Things that he usually loves now scare him and all i ever hear is 'no like!' 'no like!' several of his toys we got him for xmas he wont go near because he is scared of them.
He used to love the aquarium and we won tickets for a family day out there but now im worried about taking him incase he screams the place down!

How to i help him to stop being so scared?
The poor bloke has had so many changes in his life including 6 moves of house (one to a new country) a new baby brother and many a hospital visit so im not suprised really, but we try to reassure him and make him feel secure but it doesn't seem to be working.

Bless him, thats a lot to cope with, as you say. That said, I think its normal for toddlers to go through phases of being scared of everything - dd certainly did, and it passed.

She was scared of owls, trains, boys, dogs, bells....just to name a few! I found the best way to handle each fear was to acknowledge it, and give her support (so she knew there was nothing wrong with her for feeling the way she did, and that I was on her side) and at the same time, keep showing her that I wasn't scared of those things - that they weren't necessarily scary, though her feelings were valid enough. She seemed to move through each fear pretty fast then, and the whole phase eased off after a few months.

As your ds has been through a lot of change, though, it might take a bit longer - what you're already doing sounds great, maybe someone else will have had the same situation and better words of wisdom for you though.

Hi, my ds is 2y4 as well. He has had none of the unsettling experiences but does have the fears so I think it is a phase more than a reaction to what is going on iykwim.

DS is suddenly scared of the dark, the slightest scary picture (scarface claw in hairy mclary) and like your lo will say "No want that one, no like that, dark no nice" etc.

I think that with their cognitive development they are starting to understand that things can be scary but they can't yet work out which things can actually hurt them. They are not able to seperate real and fake yet so a scary cat in the book or a man in a giant dog suit are happening and real in every sense to them.

I honour his feelings as much as possible and aslo try to reassure him "We won't read that book, the cat looks scary and you don't like it. It can't hurt you when it is in the book and it doesn't hurt Hairy McLary, we will have a look another time"

my ds was just as you all describe yrs to be-- it did drive me slightly potty and i really worried about him.All i can say is,that although he is a highly sensitive child stiil- and not reckless like some boys i know e has completely grown out of all his fears,and he really did have alot.Theres not to much you can do but keep\ a level head,don't pander to their fears but also don't get cross.Ishudder when i think of all the awful public displays....

dd LOATHED Scarface Claw at that age....her firm favourite 6 months later...

I have 2 like this. Dd (5.5) was terrified of all kinds of strange things including men with beards (well maybe that's a good one to be!), radiators,certain pictures in children's books (I have had to hide several)etc. She is only now slowly growing out of them, despite all my attempts to allay her fears. Ds (2.5) is also the same and is currently scared of the cuddly toucan/certain adults/dripping taps. I know now to just reassure him but to just go with the flow. It can take just several weeks to outgrow some fears.

Strangely they both love Scooby-Doo and all the monsters though. Bizarre.

My eldest is 6 now but she was never really scared of anything when younger, however she now has a big fear of anyone in a animal suit or the bull boy from the bradford bulls rugby team, all she says is that she is terified that they are going to bite or nip her!!Not sure where this might have come from and don't really know what to do about it!!! any suggestions??

I think that kind of fearfulness is quite common in that age, my ds seemed to be fearful for a long time but now he's 5 it seems like forever ago as does potty training!
I think the best advice I was ever given about distress in a child is to be as steady and calm as you can be, fake it if necessary. If every time he's jumpy you are like a calm oasis, eventually that will calm him - you're his base station so he will find your calm infectious in the end, just remember to be as consistent as you can manage (not my strong point at all but I have seen it done by more emotionally stable women than me!!).

Also I think some children's films are quite scary and leave strong impressions in the mind of child who is only just working out what reality means. I know parents have widely diverging views on what it is good to watch and parents with older children have a really tough time limiting the viewing of younger kids but honestly, my fil tried to show my ds Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when he was 3 - I thought that was too young for the child catcther to stalk his dreams! But he did love the Wizard of Oz fairly young - and the wicked witch is about as scary as they come! who knows but I think it's worth keeping an eye on movies at your ds's age.

my ds was the same
He's grown out of loads...but is still a 'worrier'
It's very hard work though isnt it!
He's now 9 and is a lovely sensitive boy... i wouldn't change him for the world