dd aged 3 won't wear trousers

[Chamonix1]

Last night she got hysterical, backing into a corner, crying uncontrollably and looked generally scared about the idea of having to wear trousers.
I've noticed she keeps rolling them up, along with her sleeves if they're long, but last night was very unusual for her and I felt really mean having to put them on her with help from dh. It was a real struggle and you could tell she was upset all evening.
This morning she went to playgroup trouser less, in her pants, top, jumper and shoes. Once she got there she felt rather embarrassed (only 2 other kids their but still felt a wolly) and put them on.
I'm concerned this is a sensory thing and really just don't know how to deal with it. It's way too cold to have no tights or trousers on but she gets hysterical over them. She's also rather obsessed with shoes, wants to wear them to bed, in the house, everywhere and gets really distressed when see can't.
How do you know if it's just a funny phase or something more?
Sorry for the rant, I'm at a loss as to what to do and dreading getting my her up and dressed tomorrow!

Hi Op. So sounds like you and others are seeing some behaviours in your DD that are maybe a bit concerning? I think you should trust your intincts and push to get her checked over.

If doctors think there are no developmental concerns they will tell you, and you and your child will be no worse off. If there are concerns, IMO a wait and see approach is not the best. Yes, she is still young but you also want to put everything in place you can for her right now if it's needed.

I know it's a scary thought starting this process (I've been there) but ultimately no-one will find anything that is not there. You may also get peace of mind if she is assessed and there are no concerns. If she did need support, this assessment is one of the few routes to access it.

Very best of luck to you OP and your gorgeous DD.

Could the anxiety be anything to do with toilet training? DD had some accidents when she couldn't manage to get her clothes off in time. She won't wear tights anymore but will accept loose leggings and pjs. Just a thought.

I was the same up until about 8 years old. I HATED trousers - I would almost say I was scared of them too ! I have no idea why I was like that! If she doesn't have any other sensory issues I wouldn't worry too much - just let her wear dresses/skirts and tights.

Op, you'll probably find it useful to post on SN re all your concerns, and have a lurk, you may find it useful.

I have 4 dds, at least one has asd (diagnosed) and we suspect another. I'd say your dad has sensory issues, but it's hard to tell whether that is just a growing up thing, or something bigger. My dds have had massive sensorial issues, never wearing coats, tights, even knickers at times. I've learnt to go with the flow. Dd7 still won't wear socks, but if your dd is experiencing anxiety because of this, I'd let her go (two of my dds usually remain coat less throughout winter, I get used to the tuts and stares).

It's ironic as one of the biggest bits of parenting advice is to choose your battles. If my dd isn't wearing tights, I know she is not going to die, worst is she will be cold and miserable, but with other warmish clothes, she is not going to die. Sometimes I manage to get long socks on her instead. Nursery treat me as though I am the worst mum alive, but I'm choosing my battles!!!

Neither my dd's would wear trousers at that age. They're now teens and wouldn't dream of wearing anything else.

My dd from a very young age decided trousers were evil. After a couple of weeks of stressing myself out over my failure as a mum I decided I'd stick to tights and skirts/shorts. She is now almost 9 and we have come to an understanding - I will only ask her to wear jeans if I really really need her too (freezing weather/topping it down with rain) other wise it is tights and skirts/dresses or leggings. Just go with it if you can....save you energy for if she ever refuses to wear a jumper or cardigan......been there too.....

I had a trouser refuser who told me "I don't like the legs" by way of explanation.

He wore shorts all year round and still does age 10 yo. Also hated collars and buttons.

I always brought trousers with us when it was cold, but he would rather have frozen than wear them!

He's now got a kilt and even that is way preferable to trousers! In winter, he is happy to wear shorts and knee high football socks.

I have two of these....let her wear a skirt with long wooly socks. My youngest also wears cotton cycling shorts under her skirts and dresses....that's almost as good as tights as there's only a small gap on thigh.

@Chamonix1 massively late reply but what was the update on this? My daughter is the exact same atm, all of a sudden

Will she wear a dress or shorts, with tights?

No nothing. It's hit and miss if we can even get a nappy on her but that's it. Is it a control thing? She was fine up until about Wednesday, then it just flipped 🤯