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12 year old boy constantly being silly

10 replies

CountryLovingGirl · 14/03/2016 06:54

Hi,

My son has just turned 12 last week and started year 7 last September. He is a bright child but acts very silly a lot of the time, especially when he has an audience. He has always been like this! He has a 7 year old sister (8 soon) and she is starting to copy his behaviour.

The secondary school he attends give them a diary for homework and also for teachers to write any concerns about behaviour. Every week at least 2 teachers have put in about silly behaviour (things like being silly in the line up to class/at lunch; throwing a highlighter across a room; pulling ties off). They are starting to get fed up ('extremely concerned') and I have already been called into school about this. He is top set for maths and won the mathematics award for the whole primary school last summer (and, won an award for determination). He has always been difficult to raise in comparison to his sister - not in a bad way, just that he is like a live wire. We did mention it to the GP when he was younger but he just dismissed it and said he was a highly spirited, intelligent child (and that he would calm down by the time he was 9 - he didn't). He doesn't show other signs of ADHD - he is just the class joker! When he was in year 6 they did a 'leaver's book' for each child where the other children had to write a few words about him. Every one of them said that he was 'very funny' and 'hilarious' so it's pretty obvious he has entertained them for a few years!

Now he is 12 I really want him to calm himself and start acting responsibly (as it's getting annoying now). He loves to make people laugh. His last head teacher (male) said he has a wicked sense of humour but that there is a time and a place...what my son failed to grasp!

His new (young, early 20's) form tutor is getting fed up of him. Her comments, in the diary, are becoming more frequent. I have tried so hard to get him to grow up a bit but it seems to be failing. He has complained that his form tutor shouts at all the boys and the girls get away with things. His form is made up of 10 boys and 17 girls (only 3 other boys are from his primary - it's an outstanding Catholic secondary). One of the other parents has said her son has complained about her shouting at the boys. Whether this is her first form and she is showing her authority (good on her I say)...sounds like it.

Will he mature rapidly soon?

The school is a fantastic. They are one of the best performing schools in the country. I keep telling him that he is so lucky to go there and that he should make the most of his time there. He does well in school, academically, but needs to act more responsibly. Any ideas?

OP posts:
MattDillonsPants · 14/03/2016 07:30

Get him into a good drama club or youth theatre...not a Stagecoach or Theatre Train place but a youth theatre. He sounds like he needs an outlet for his creative energy.

CountryLovingGirl · 14/03/2016 18:40

Good idea. I'll look into that :-)

OP posts:
lavenderhoney · 06/04/2016 20:14

The form teacher shouldn't be shouting at anyone. That would concern me they can't control themselves so how on earth could they expect a child to do so. Also she is encouraging drama and making it ok to scream and shout to get control.

I would complain about it, tbh, and work on your ds doing a drama club or something - but he needs a teacher who is calm and helps him calm down by example not shouting at the boys!

Spandexpants007 · 06/04/2016 20:24

I wonder if she feels out of her depth. Shouting = loss of control. However it sounds like she's got her hands full! Maybe she needs support? There's a lot to learn when new to teaching.

Yes your son should be behaving. Is there any chance he finds the work too easy? Is he disrespectful/silly in the company of female adults particularly?

Div1983 · 21/04/2022 12:01

Hi, this was posted few years ago but when I read your post it felt like you are describing my son.
did you see any change after all these years? My son is driving me crazy as he wont stop being silly and clowning around. He is 12 too.

Div1983 · 21/04/2022 13:26

Hi,

My son has just turned 12 last week and started year 7 last September. He is a bright child but acts very silly a lot of the time, especially when he has an audience. He has always been like this! He has a 7 year old sister (8 soon) and she is starting to copy his behaviour.

The secondary school he attends give them a diary for homework and also for teachers to write any concerns about behaviour. Every week at least 2 teachers have put in about silly behaviour (things like being silly in the line up to class/at lunch; throwing a highlighter across a room; pulling ties off). They are starting to get fed up ('extremely concerned') and I have already been called into school about this. He is top set for maths and won the mathematics award for the whole primary school last summer (and, won an award for determination). He has always been difficult to raise in comparison to his sister - not in a bad way, just that he is like a live wire. We did mention it to the GP when he was younger but he just dismissed it and said he was a highly spirited, intelligent child (and that he would calm down by the time he was 9 - he didn't). He doesn't show other signs of ADHD - he is just the class joker! When he was in year 6 they did a 'leaver's book' for each child where the other children had to write a few words about him. Every one of them said that he was 'very funny' and 'hilarious' so it's pretty obvious he has entertained them for a few years!

Now he is 12 I really want him to calm himself and start acting responsibly (as it's getting annoying now). He loves to make people laugh. His last head teacher (male) said he has a wicked sense of humour but that there is a time and a place...what my son failed to grasp!

His new (young, early 20's) form tutor is getting fed up of him. Her comments, in the diary, are becoming more frequent. I have tried so hard to get him to grow up a bit but it seems to be failing.

Will he mature rapidly soon?

The school is a fantastic. They are one of the best performing schools in the county. I keep telling him that he is so lucky to go there and that he should make the most of his time there. He does well in school, academically, but needs to act more responsibly. Any ideas?

MattDamon · 21/04/2022 13:35

Jim Carrey has said he was like this in school (with the exception of the maths award!). Definitely agree about arranging an appropriate outlet for him to channel his humour. Improv would be a great start.

MattDamon · 21/04/2022 13:35

Oh FFS, zombie thread...

Div1983 · 21/04/2022 13:42

Thanks. It is a new post Matt. Someone several years ago posted this for their child but when i read it it felt it was my son being described. I am in exactly in the same situation. So thought to discuss with parents here 🙂

CountryLovingGirl · 27/06/2023 20:25

Hi,

Just seen this - after all these years!!

An update!

My son is now 19 and did settle down. He did extremely well in his GCSE's (all 9's and 8's) and got three A* at A-level (without any revision, well hardly any as I never saw him revise). He was accepted into a Russell Group University to study Civil Engineering. His mathematics was outstanding and remained so throughout school. The school was very proud of him. Parents wh

He has a part time job and a girlfriend now too.

I'd say he started to mature around 16 or 17. He is a lovely lad now and very switched on. He did better in exams than his classmates much to the annoyance of a few stuck up mums!

Hoping he has a great future lined up but he did settle down and is now a very mature, intelligent young man.

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