OK. First thing is to sit down with your other half and agree a Plan.
You work together as a team. Back each other up at all times.
Agree what you want him to do and stop doing. When he is calm is he ok - does he apologise? If so, can you gently probe to see if he is upset about something? It sounds like he is kicking out - but he has to learn self control.
Never rise to the behaviour - feign bemusement or boredom with it.
Don't yell or get angry - your blood pressure shouldnt go up!
Be firm - tell him that x,y and z isn't allowed and there will be penalties. Tell him he is too old for this silly behaviour. Don't make dire threats or punishments you can't follow through.
Stick to them. So if you tell him 'if you are rude, I will take away your train set for 2 weeks' do it. If he's rude again 'OK that's 3 weeks' and on and on. He will give up before you do.
Agree punishment - there will be something he values. If he gets pocket money that's a good start! Get a pad and write down the penalties (keep them small) so 5p for leaving a book on the floor, 2p for not switching off the light, 10p for bring rude, 10p for not finishing his glass of milk. He can 'earn' by doing good things - getting to school on time, packing his schoolbag the night before, putting his uniform out the night before, taking out the rubbish... Tot up the scores at the end of the week - don't be too ruthless but not too lenient either! Give him the odd random 5p when.you see him doing something 'good' off his own bat, or ask him a tricky sum and if he gets it right 'I'm impressed - I think that's worth 20p'. It will confuse him a bit but that's good!
Keep a good home routine - get up earlier if you find mornings a rush. Keep it all boring and predictable at home.
Got to catch the bus - I shall return...