Siblings fights

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clairemow · 02/01/2007 11:03

Perhaps DS1 is only allowed to play with DS2's train set if he lets DS2 play with his, if you see what I mean. DS1 would understand this at 3 maybe, whereas DS2 would probably have problems understanding why he can't touch DS1's...

Tricky one!!

Are the trainsets compatible? The benefit of making a MASSIVE joint track might appeal to DS1?

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Pitchounette · 02/01/2007 14:09

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juuule · 02/01/2007 14:19

Does ds2 have a daytime sleep. Could ds1 play with his Thomas trainset when ds2 is asleep. When he is awake could both of them play with ds2 trainset to get used to playing alongside each other. It would also make ds2 trainset more interesting to ds2. As he gets older and more competent ds1 might be happy to play with the Thomas set with him.

tjacksonpfc · 03/01/2007 04:47

i have the same problem my ds is 14 months old and lives and breathes thomas he has a thomas train set which my dd who is 29 months loves to play with and ds wont let her when she comes near it he takes the train off ive combatited this by buying a couple of trains the same so they have there own trains on the track

itsazoohere · 03/01/2007 05:03

hi my two dd are always fighting do you have any tips on how l can get them to stop

nearlyfourbob · 03/01/2007 05:19

Friend has twins and a Thomas train set. Each engine has an initial on it and that is their train and not for the other one to play with. Track is shared and they don't seem to care about what each other do with that.

I quite like the idea that if they can't get on with it together then the trainset goes into time out. Or if they can't play with their own trainsets (if that's what you decide) without bothering the other both sets go into time out.

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Pitchounette · 03/01/2007 08:27

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McDreamy · 03/01/2007 08:34

I would def take the tracks away if they can't play together but I am quite lucky at the moment as I ahve a DD and a DS and they appear to be interested in different things!

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Pitchounette · 03/01/2007 12:39

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Tortington · 03/01/2007 12:44

i'd let them fight it out and get a coffee

seriously - i think tha word to use is comprimise. maybe 15 mins each with either set.

sit down with ds1 tell him hes older and therefore can help you sort this out "how can we make this work ?"

after conversation you lead him into your solution thinking its his brilliant idea. telling him well done and how would you ever manage without him phew thank goodness you have him around to help.

it worked for me ....sometimes

Tortington · 03/01/2007 12:45

i'd let them fight it out and get a coffee

seriously - i think tha word to use is comprimise. maybe 15 mins each with either set.

sit down with ds1 tell him hes older and therefore can help you sort this out "how can we make this work ?"

after conversation you lead him into your solution thinking its his brilliant idea. telling him well done and how would you ever manage without him phew thank goodness you have him around to help.

it worked for me ....sometimes

FrostyTheSnowMarsLady · 03/01/2007 12:47

It's not an easy one to deal with. I have DTs but to be honest it's not just the DTs that have the sharing issues.

Sadly the only way children learn to share is by going through the painful "it's mine!" stage.

I think that some good ideas have been suggested which you would probably prefer to mine which is... intervene if there's likely to be blood, but then I do have 5 of them and I am lazy mum extraordinaire lol!

I think you have to try different things to see what works. But I will say this... the sharing issue doesn't go away (mine are 14,12, 8 and 2.10yo DTs). I constantly hear the words "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not fair s/he's got my........" at which point I turn another page in my book or open another MN thread.

Sorry... wish I could give you an instant success answer. If you find one... could you pass it along?

FrostyTheSnowMarsLady · 03/01/2007 12:48

It's not an easy one to deal with. I have DTs but to be honest it's not just the DTs that have the sharing issues.

Sadly the only way children learn to share is by going through the painful "it's mine!" stage.

I think that some good ideas have been suggested which you would probably prefer to mine which is... intervene if there's likely to be blood, but then I do have 5 of them and I am lazy mum extraordinaire lol!

I think you have to try different things to see what works. But I will say this... the sharing issue doesn't go away (mine are 14,12, 8 and 2.10yo DTs). I constantly hear the words "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not fair s/he's got my........" at which point I turn another page in my book or open another MN thread.

Sorry... wish I could give you an instant success answer. If you find one... could you pass it along?

(something weird just happened so if this posts twice... sorry!)

juuule · 03/01/2007 13:21

I still think that giving your 3yo some time alone with his trainset is fair. And keeping it out of your 19m olds reach. Explain to your 3yo that if he wants to play with it while the 19mo is present, he will have to share. His choice then. To ask a 3yo to share his prized possession with a 19mo is asking a bit much imo. I would struggle letting a 19mo loose on my favourite stuff. Let them play together with the 19mo trainset until the 19mo gets a bit more competent.

clairemow · 03/01/2007 13:47

to add to juule's post - could DS1 make his train track on say the dining table, so that it's too high for DS2 to reach? If he lets DS2 share sometimes he could have it on the table out of reach as a reward every few days?

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Pitchounette · 03/01/2007 13:48

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Pitchounette · 03/01/2007 13:50

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Tortington · 03/01/2007 13:56

when my twins were 2 my eldest was 5 and since the dts were babies i always did this thing whereas i said " wow your such a big help, what can we do to stop them crying?"

"how can we...." etc etc

making him feel important - helpful. but along with words i also did the rolling of eyes and " tut, i dunno, those babies...i wish they could be as helpful as you"

this gave him a position of superiority, and by role modling as a parent ( sounds up mi own arse its not hold on) he used the superiority of projected (pretent) authority figure and 'helped' with the ddecision making and problem solving.

whereas if you gave them that appearence of authority/superiority - but you yourself used your authority by shouting and screaming - they would too.

by saying " hey help me work this out" they should go away with a more 'shruggy shoulders' view of crying babies.

its something to see a toddler waddle off into the kitchen saying 'c'mon them babies need changing again mummy' tut