I cant cope anymore, i need help.

[Amy214]

I cant cope with my 2 year olds behaviour anymore, she is very wild, she likes to pull hair, hit and is all over the place all the time i feel like im constantly telling her she cant do something, i have cleaned my house out of all the ornaments i could find and yet she still manages to find something, she always pulls her cousins hair and before i can even say anything people are screaming at her and they tell her cousin to pull her hair/hit her back, which i do not agree with and when i try to stick up for my daughter i get told im a bad mother, just writing this right now makes me feel terrible enough, shes meant to be starting playgroup in march and im so nervous, is there any classes that we can go to to help with her behaviour? I have been to discipline classes but positive discipline doesnt seem to be working with this, i normally take her away from everything when its gotten too much, because im normally shouted at aswell as her, i feel like im breaking, her dad isnt around to help either thanks

I don't have any advice as such but didn't want to not reply. Rather than fearing playgroup you may find it is a positive change. New place, new rules and other older children to copy may help her gain more skills and stop acting out. Even if she does act out at playgroup, the staff will probably have some methods to try and often anyone but mum can help implement them!

must be so draining on your own. Even a seemingly well behaved toddler is soon hard. Good luck xx

I also have a 2yo dd who's behaviour is awful. She seems to behave herself much better around other children and at her childminders so hopefully yours will be the same at playgroup. I have no other advice; everytime I turn my back for two seconds she's destroying something or climbing on stuff and has me in tears most days - you aren't alone.

Its good to know im not the only one and it makes me feel like its a bit normal, im hoping playgroup helps her

Have you heard of Homestart? Having had similar challenges to you I contacted them and have been supported by a volunteer once a week for almost a year. She has been brilliant, given me emotional support, advice and more importantly has accompanied me out with my little one to parks, events etc. Having that support has boosted my confidence and improved behaviour problems significantly, especially when out and about.
I have fallen out with family due to shouting at my little one and castigating us as the incompetent single mum and out of control child. Know how you feel.

I havent heard of homestart but i will definetly look into them thanks

It sounds like your having a bit of a hard time, but can I just say, no one, not even family should call you a bad mother! They should know like we all do everything in general is a phase, even the good bits!!! She is only two! Kids are learning all the time, wether it's the colours in the rainbow or how to behave, we need to help them figure it out! The fact you are on here asking for advise tells me you are not by any means a bad mother but a very caring one! It will pass in time and unfortunately another thing will crop up instead but enjoy the happy times, they do out way the bad!!

You're not a bad mother! You are right to not want her cousin to be told to hit back - how will your daughter learn not to hit and pull hair if she sees her cousin being told to do it by adults?

I think at that age, taking them away from the situation, calming them down (if possible) and explaining quietly that it's not the way to behave is best. My DS1 is 3 but I find his behaviour is worse if I'm angry and shout at him, using a calm neutral voice works best (easier said than done!)