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Has anyone's child suddenly become insecure? Concerned about my 6.5 year old ds

1 reply

Lsmum · 28/12/2006 12:34

My ds is 6.5 and has recently finished his first year of school. He was always a bit of a 'fearless' toddler, wouldn't stay with us and liked to run off and explore. He's been pretty much the same since then but over the last few months it's like he's developed a fear of being lost/abandoned/left alone. If he loses sight of me in a shop he panics and bursts into tears, and it even happened at home one day. I walked my parents out to their car after they'd been visiting, and ds had been inside playing on a computer game. He knew they were leaving as they'd said good-bye, and we were only just standing out on the drive-way for a couple of minutes chatting. Shortly afterward I heard ds scream out (initial impression was that he must've hurt himself) and I ran inside to see what had happened - it turns out he thought he'd been left alone in the house. I was so shocked, I just couldn't believe he would think I'd leave him alone - anywhere. His latest comment to me was today, regarding the childcare centre he is going to next week (he's only going there for one day a week until the end of January, while I'm at work). He asked me if I was actually going to come back and get him, or whether I was going to leave him there

I just don't understand it. I tell him I love him every day, and I always re-assure him that we (dh & I) will always be there for him. I've never left him anywhere and not come back for him, ever. I stayed home with him from the time he was a baby until he started pre-school, & I studied from home so that I could be with him. He's always had a fairly regular, secure routine - good relationship with grandparents, playgroups, then starting school, etc. I only work 12 hours a week at the moment and I'm always there to drop him to school and pick him up. He's had a couple of hurts at school over the last two months when his good friend decided he didn't want to play with him anymore, and I think this 'friend' of his actually encouraged a few other kids to turn on ds, for no reason other than they felt like it . Ds was quite heartbroken about it but I have no idea whether this has had any effect on him or whether he's seen something in a movie or perhaps had a scary dream about parents abandoning their child..? Sorry this is long, but I feel terrible about this and don't know where it's come from.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MerrilyTooBuzzi · 28/12/2006 13:03

Hi not sure if i can give you great advice on DS concerns.
Dreams and films -- Yes I think they do have sort term triggers on children. FWIW my children dont like watching Home Alone (film) because they didnt like the idea that they could be left and it would go unnoticed.

When you send him to childcare for the day leave a little note in his lunchbox as a nice surprise or put a note in his pocket for him to read. I even do this when my DDs return to school after the hols. You know "love u lots and thinking of u, see u very soon at end of day" that kind of thing.

I am sure it is a phase they go through.

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