Daughter refers/describes herself as a boy

[ooopsdidyoumeantodothat]

Just that really. 4 years old but has been this way since she was able to express herself. Not interested in girls clothes or toys. Will only play typical boy games and never takes a female role in playing. Uses a low pitched voice a lot (but not her natural voice). School have consulted psychologist for advice as other children are now at an age to start asking questions when she insists that she is a boy. Not really talked to anyone outside the family about this. She is a very happy child. I just am worrying about the future and what this might hold for her. She has talked about growing a penis and has tried to pee standing up. Not sure why I'm posting really. Just want to say it to someone else.

I think it's well within the realms of normal. Two of my girls have asked if they can grow up to be boys, I told them they can't, but they can do any of the things they see any boys doing. I'd want to be sure that no one at school is telling her that she could change into a boy.
She can be and do anything, but she can't grow a willy.

If she wanted to be a rabbit, insisted on wearing ears and a fluffy tail and calling herself thumper... You'd smile and join in in a playful way, and it would be a sweet story in a few years. This is no different, so long as no one pathologises it imo

Schools don't usually rush to bring in psychologists for no reason. Maybe they have valid concerns about op's dc that we aren't privy to.

Perhaps help her to understand that she can be a girl and still enjoy traditionally 'boy' toys and activities. It could be a phase or it might he be that in the future she really does want to be a boy. At the moment I would just roll with it and not read too much into it, she's so Young

The psychologist has not seen my child, or any of the children at the school in connection with my daughters behaviour. They (psychologist) have been consulted by the teaching staff who recognised that they did not have the necessary knowledge and experience to know what was the 'right' way to handle the situation for my daughter and her classmates. They (the teaching staff) have expressed every concern for wanting to provide a secure neutral environment in which my daughter can explore who she is without feeling that she is in the 'wrong' in any way. I think it helped me and the teaching staff to learn that we were absolutely right to state the biological facts to my daughter and her class group. It was very reassuring. The future was not discussed, but naturally like any parent, I am thinking ahead and worrying. It is all very well to say let her be etc... but I am concerned with the future, not the here and now. I want my happy child to be a happy adult. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. None of us have a crystal ball.

I should have said, right at the start, that we are not in the UK. The approach to child development here (will not state country) seems to be an holistic one and access to specialist help and advice is readily and quickly available. Why does everyone think that the consultation of a psychologist is such a bad thing? Surely it is better to recognise when you don't know what to do?!

Just act normally and try and relax a bit

Because it pathologises normal behaviour.

How can teachers not have the necessary experience of gender non conforming children?

My DD announced she was going to grow a penis when she grew up. We just told her she wouldn't. No drama.

Don't make this bigger than it is, she's fine.

The teachers sound a bit rubbish and I think they have got you worried by bringing a psychologist into a pretty normal situation. They should just teach her and treat her as they do any child. Her interests are not 'boy interests', they are her, individual interests. Have you ever asked her why she says/thinks she is a boy?

She has a girl's body and that makes her a girl but most importantly she is herself and has her own personalilty unique to her.

There have always been Tom boys and the majority of them grow up to be happy and well adjusted women. Normal behaviour is pathologised. I believe that labelling small child as trans does more harm than good. Children need to freedom to play with what they want to.

I think it's important for children to realise that genitils should not limit their ambitions. Women can be doctors, pilots etc and men can do traditionally caring roles like teaching or nursing.

I really think how this is handled now can influence how your daughter feels in the future.

Exploring gender is a normal part of child development. It is important not to make into an issue that needs to be fixed. All children need to know is that everyone is different, there are no boy/girl toys, games or roles. My 4 year old DD went through a phase of saying she was a boy called Michael. She wouldn't respond unless we called her Michael. She also has times when she wants to be a cat or a baby. She wanted a "lovely brown face" like her cousin (she's white).At the moment she likes skirts, princesses, pink and purple, lego, my little pony and superheroes. Yesterday she was deliberating between a Star Wars lego magazine and a Frozen one. All normal. Her nursery have never referred to these various phases likes/dislikes other than sometimes saying "it is
Michael today" when I collect her.

I'd be careful about what seems like a rather heavy handed approach by the nursery. All your daughter needs is to be allowed to be herself without being labelled or pigeonholed. There is no psychological issue. It sounds like you and her Dad are giving her support/guidance at home, she'll be fine.