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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do I phrase this politely

73 replies

evamum · 26/12/2006 15:05

to my MIL and friends

Stop saying Ta and Hiya to my DD although you say this to your kids and are trying to teach them to say these words as I want her to say Thank you and Hello.

Before you all think I am a complete snob the area I live in has a very strong accent with these words and as I did not grow up here I dont want DD talking with this accent.....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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ChristmasPresence · 27/12/2006 23:40

Saying ta has nothing whatsoever to do with regional accents! It's said all over the country, in various accents. I have friends from both north and south who say this, and it just happens to be something I don't like to say, along with Haitch, innit and might of. It's just a bad use of the language, nothing to do with which part of the UK you live in. I can't see anything wrong with the OP wanting her children to know the correct words for things, in whatever the local accent may be.

cat64 · 27/12/2006 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 28/12/2006 00:19

It's colloquial and cultural. What has that to do w/'correct'.

FFS.

I'm w/batters.

You're one lucky gal, eva.

Btw, some of this board find 'Mum' common and low-class, too.

NB to MN headquarters: any chance of getting a rolling eye icon around here?

Not necessarily correct use of the term in the Queen's English, but my oh my, fiddle-dee-dee.

WeWishUAMerryXmasNANappyNewYr · 28/12/2006 01:37

why is mum common? who says mother all the time?

and what is wrong with hiya aswell?

i read somewhere that baby talk was beneficial to a child's development because the sounds are more repetitive and easier to understand. as the child is able to say "normal" words they drop the baby talk.

airy · 28/12/2006 02:17

I'm a scouser born and bred, but I have an odd accent having lived in Dublin for a long time! My DD has a wondeful and gorgeous mixture of both Scouse and Dublin accent and colloquial words, when she's naughty she's 'bold' when she says thankyou she says 'ta' the plates live in the press (which no-one here seems to understand!)lol
I love the way she talks, and I encourage it. As someone else said, how boring would it be if we all spoke the queens english, the way we talk and the words we speak define who we are and where we're from. They are real words, they're understood, and honestly I'd be happy to have a child of that age who understood how to be polite, rather than be worrying about the words they used to do it.
If you don't like the regional accent where you are, then move! Your child is going to end up with it wether you like it or not!!

WeWishUAMerryXmasNANappyNewYr · 28/12/2006 02:33

the press? never heard that before!

airy · 28/12/2006 03:25

Lol, yes the press is the cupboard. I spent years fighting it and now I say it too

wethreebobkings · 28/12/2006 04:26

Ds is bilingual - he says "fewer" when describing a quantity to me and "less" to his Granny.

He says "dairy" to me and "corner shop" to her. He says "booooook" to her and "buck" to me.

There are lots of different words for the same things and different ways of saying them.

WeWishUAMerryXmasNANappyNewYr · 28/12/2006 04:36

im confused dairy and corner shop are the same thing?

wethreebobkings · 28/12/2006 05:11

An NZ dairy is what I would call a corner shop.

Original poster

evamum · 28/12/2006 09:08

Thanks to everyone for accusing me of being a snob and calling me petty, I thought I had made it clear I wasn't intending to come over like that, I just want to ask a question ffs!

Had you maybe considered that Ta and Hiya are not the actual words I have a problem with but that I wanted to know how to word a question like that? No? Okay then.

Oh, and I have no problem with the accent where I live, I am living here aren't I?

OP posts:

TinsellyRhino · 28/12/2006 09:10

oh well, to add to my bad mummyness, I am obviously bringing my children up to be common

dd1 says plaease and thankyou, bye and pardon me
but dd2 is 20 months and exploring language and I did teach her 'ta' because it was easier and she could begin to understand the concept, she now says fank

she also says 'hiya' not sure where she got that but she says it really only wehen playing peekaboo or running away from you and back again

oh well the list of things I have done wrong gets longer

Original poster

evamum · 28/12/2006 09:11

Oh and in my OP I meant certain words with this strong accent as they sound like other words to my family......

OP posts:

Original poster

evamum · 28/12/2006 09:14

Tinsellyrhino, this is my point, I have no problem with other children saying whatever they want to say, You want them to be polite and friendly, and sounds like they are!

It really is a few words my IL's and friends around here use that my family would be a bit shocked if she said, not going to get into it though...am off now!

OP posts:

batters · 28/12/2006 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

evamum · 28/12/2006 23:02

[frgin]

OP posts:

Original poster

evamum · 28/12/2006 23:03

dammit, too much wine, I meant of course

OP posts:

WeWishUAMerryXmasNANappyNewYr · 29/12/2006 01:47

so what do they think they are saying?

kjaysmum · 29/12/2006 08:31

funny thing for me this, as my Ds is learning to speak in NZ and I got all excited when he started saying "yis" in a very cute little kiwi accent, now he seems to have dropped it and has started saying a dead posh "yahs" and everyone says ah listen to his english accent, totally weird cause I'm a Brummie, I reckon he's avin a laff !!!!

Original poster

evamum · 29/12/2006 14:50

I'drather not say, sorry! will be too obvious to my mates i am trying not to offend as I know they are on here all the time

OP posts:

adath · 29/12/2006 20:01

Anyway, I grew up in an island off the west coast of Scotland with Glaswegian parents who spoke properly and I had a mixture of both accents and to most poeple still sound a bit "posh" I am often descrebed like that.
I then moved with this accent to Aberdeen and I don;t know how many of you have heard aberdnians speak but it can sound like a whole different language and I was stronlgy erm discouraged for want of a better word by my parents of picking up any of this and I was constantly taunted and close to bullied at primary school for my accent. As an adut I am glad I never picked up much but as a child I was singled out for the "posh" way I spoke.

When DD was learning to talk I never used ta always thank you just because I never seen the point of teaching one to replace it with another. I have always been very aware of the way I talk to DD as I want her to know how to talk properly before she messes up the English language.
Where I live now I am not overly keen on the accent at its strongest but most people don;t have an accent that strong but I am also fighting a losing battle. DD never had an accent until the past month..seriously.
Now she sounds like my friends DD who does have an accent and has started missing out the "t" in the middle of words like water and sweety.
Hey that is what happens when they start mixing I suppose.

DizzyBinterWonderland · 29/12/2006 20:15

won't they just learn that mummy says thank you and grandma says ta? maybe i'm being too simplistic. the same as maybe mummy doesn't let them wear shoes in the house but grandma does etc etc..

saaa · 04/03/2007 16:40

Hi, My DS is 4 and we teach him to speak using his T's and H's. Which he occasionally drops because he hears it at school, also my husband occasionally drops them!! in a jokey way, which my ds picks up on too. We correct in a jokey way also. He had a friend round the other day, he started talking about toma'os (TOMATOES) etc and my ds corrected him and told him he was speaking 'souf laanden' ( south london). Luckily the friend didn't really know what my ds was talking about! I just grinned at him. But it made me realise the implications of something as simple as that. It sets my ds slightly apart. Is that a good thing? Should I do it differently. I've read a thread today which talked about, telling my child that we don't like to make other people feel uncomfortable and so should let it go.

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