Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

How do I phrase this politely

73 replies

evamum · 26/12/2006 15:05

to my MIL and friends

Stop saying Ta and Hiya to my DD although you say this to your kids and are trying to teach them to say these words as I want her to say Thank you and Hello.

Before you all think I am a complete snob the area I live in has a very strong accent with these words and as I did not grow up here I dont want DD talking with this accent.....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

evamum · 27/12/2006 12:40

Oh god, I knew some people wouldn't realise I am not being a snob, and its not cos I think its common...And she is being raised bilingually as well!
Its just my own preferences, but was curious if people had said anything to others, so thanks to those that did agree wiht me, at least I dont feel like a complete freak!

OP posts:

PinkTinsel · 27/12/2006 12:43

grrr, my aunt kept insisting my dd say 'nap-nap' for nappy and lots of other drival when she was visiting earlier this year. the child is perfectly capable of saying nappy, why would i want her to say nap-nap? and ta just does my head in!

Elasticwoman · 27/12/2006 12:51

I can see your point Evamum and I think you are entitled to raise your child the way you want. Don't forget that she will spend far more time in your company than in anybody else's at the moment and is far more likely to pick up your ways than those of other people. Actually I would be a little bit miffed at other people presuming to tell my child how to speak, whatever the word was. To say Ta to your child is one thing; to say "Say Ta" is taking it a bit further iyswim.

NicJane · 27/12/2006 12:53

I should leave well alone and continue to emphasise thank-you etc at home. My dd's godmother continually used ta when dd was little. (She looked after her two mornings a week) Now dd is 8 and NEVER uses ta. It is more important that they learn the concept of thanking, they will then use the word they hear most, which should be the one they hear at home. When they get to school it all goes to pot anyway! I now hear "cheers Mum" instead!

Original poster

evamum · 27/12/2006 12:58

Elasticwoman, thats exactly my point, I have decided how I would like her to talk and someone else saying 'Say Hiya, Say Ta' amongst other things is out of order!

I dont see why she should have to learn baby words and then grown up words later, Id rather she learnt the proper ones first.

(for baby words, I mean choo-choo, brum brum, woof woof, napnap (yes Pinktinsel, MIL says that too), tinkle (!) Honestly, doesn't she realise how odd she sounds when she talks to her 'Oooo look at the woof woof out of the brum brum glass' WTF?????!!!!!)

OP posts:

Mirage · 27/12/2006 16:03

MIL is due to land any minute & she says 'say ta' to dd2.I hate it & never use it & neither does any of my side of the family.

MIL did it to dd1 too & dd1 never ever said 'ta', despite MIL's best efforts,so I'm hoping that dd2 will follow suit.

'Baby lamb' is one of those things that people say that really gets to me.It seems pointless-we don't describe a puppy as a baby puppy do we?

expatinscotland · 27/12/2006 16:10

I don't get it. I am a foreigner, however, married to a Scotsman w/a very strong regional accent.

What is wrong w/'Ta' and 'hiya'? They are said here often enough by people from all backgrounds, so I am confused.

It's a given my children will have strong regional accents. They both do already. DD1 in particular. After all, this is what they hear 99% of the time.

It seems rather silly to live in a region w/a strong accent and not expect or assume your children will speak in such a way.

Seriously.

I have a Southern US regional accent. If I wanted my children to speak that way, I'd live in the Southern US.

They are Scots who happen to have an American mother. They think like Scots, they dress like Scots and they speak like them, too.

Big deal.

Well, if it's a big deal, they can whip out their blue passport and fart off to the US where no one gives a fat rat's arse about such nonsense.

SenoraPartridge · 27/12/2006 16:30

I agree 100% with expat.

In fact I would positively encourage relatives to use dialect and other informal words to my children: British (well, English) dialects are dying out fast and I think that's a great shame.

BadHair · 27/12/2006 16:35

For me, I don't care what accent my children speak with, but I do care about the actual words they use. Ds1 has an accent similar to mine, but ds2 has the local accent, which is nothing like either mine or dh's. It's a bit odd as there's only 2 years between them, and they both go to the same school, so quite why they speak so differently is beyond me. They do both speak in proper words, though, and have never used baby words, mainly because those words weren't used at home.

I do get cross with my mum, though, as she insists on calling cats "pussies" (in this day and age!), and cars "motor-cars". Grrrr.

2nervesnapartridgeinapeartree · 27/12/2006 16:40

I taught both mine to start by saying ta and then to thank you. Same with hiya. It seems easier for them to start communicating with people who do not know them well. My 21 month ds now says tank yoo mama regardless of who he is talking to.

I'd rather a colloquialism than rudeness.

expatinscotland · 27/12/2006 16:46

'I'd rather a colloquialism than rudeness.'

Here, here!

How boring if everyone sounded like BBC TV presenters. YAWN!

Believe it or not, a lot of people find regional accents lovely.

Accents, regional dialect and idiomatic speech is a unique and important part of culture, how sad that it's seen as something shameful and somehow scuzzy.

Mirage · 27/12/2006 17:10

I'm all for regional dialects & teach my girls words from dh's Northern background,but dislike 'ta'.So therefore,as no one locally uses it & I will not be causing them problems by using 'thankyou' instead,I reserve my right not to use it.

SenoraPartridge · 27/12/2006 17:14

it's fine to reserve your right not to use "ta". But I think telling other people not to use it is unreasonable.

flack · 27/12/2006 17:27

Agree with SP, expat.

Getting het up about "Ta" just sounds like you are trying to create a separation between them and other children. Your DCs will ask why other people say these things and why they can't, and what are you going to say, "Because i think it sounds common" (?) -- implying that's what they should think of people who say these things, too, no??

The use of "you was" isn't comparable because that's just plain grammarically incorrect. "Ta" and "hiya" are perhaps slang, but not wrong grammar.

Mirage · 27/12/2006 17:34

Oh,I would never tell anyone not to say it-that would be rude.When MIL says it,I say nothing.

paddyclamp · 27/12/2006 22:14

I can't believe some people are so snobby. I can understand people not liking kids saying moo moo for cow etc but hiya and ta is going too far IMO. I'm a northerner and proud of it. At least people speak to their neighbours up here and hold doors open in shops

Blossomgoodwill · 27/12/2006 22:18

Sorry but how petty.

ChristmasPresence · 27/12/2006 22:25

We have a checkout lady in our local co-op who always says "thank you, ta" to everyone. DS (4) a few weeks ago said "why did that lady call you ta Mummy?". We're right posh we are

expatinscotland · 27/12/2006 22:27

'tamum'.

she's a really, really amazing lady. worthy of a thousand thanks.

i really hope you find what you're looking for, evamum.

i'd rather stay right here, FWIW.

expatinscotland · 27/12/2006 22:27

yeah, pretty much, eh, blossom? good to see you round!

Blossomgoodwill · 27/12/2006 22:29

Aww you too expat xxx

expatinscotland · 27/12/2006 22:31

And a happy new year to you and yours!

I can't wait to go to all these regions of England on holiday and hear all the different accents and voices!

I so love to hear it in our students at work.

I always tell them to be so proud of who they are, of how they speak, and don't let anyone tell them differently.

People are so much more than that.

Life is so much more than that.

How petty and sad.

expatinscotland · 27/12/2006 22:32

We make it a point to holiday in the UK. So our children will get to know that part of their heritage and hopefully, one day, embrace it.

batters · 27/12/2006 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pantomimEdam · 27/12/2006 23:35

Had this with one particular assistant at ds's nursery teaching him to say 'ta'. Really grated esp. as we are in the South East (and she's local) so it's not even a regional accent thing. We just ignored it and it went away.

Flip

1 2 3