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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Ideas to help my ds give up his dummy - almost 3 years

19 replies

doubleh · 23/12/2006 19:23

Last night we tried to give up the dummy. For several months now we have been telling him Santa will take his dummy because he is nearly 3 and he will give his dummies to the new babies who need dummies. He kept the thread going even when I temporarily forgot.

So we did it. He happily put all his dummies in the santa sack and we placed it by the fireplace. Great. For the next 3 hours he went from hyper - non stop chat about anything and everything to hysterical screaming and crying. I felt it must be similar for parents who have a son/daughter addicted to hard drugs!! It was very emotional, I felt very guilty and we have been treading on egg shells all day today.

Santa brought a present early in return for all the dummies. DS has played with it constantly today. He seems calmer - but I am dreading tonight. No going back though as I can't put him through all that trauma just to back out when it gets tough.

Any ideas how to placate him?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lilliput · 23/12/2006 19:31

I will need to do this with my ds next christmas so I will be watching your progress. I would imagine lots and lots of distraction which should (?) be fairly easy at chrismas, lots of new toys and people to play with.

SpicymulledSheraz · 23/12/2006 19:36

I think just stick to your guns. My DS was 3.5 and only gave up his dummy after we both had a good telling off from our Gp. He put in the bin and has never asked for it since. You've made the biggest step, stick with it, it really does look ridiculous a 3yr old with a dummy. ( Not having a go, I hated seeing my DS with his)

Lilliput · 23/12/2006 19:38

What did the Gp say about it, why was he telling you off?

Saturn74 · 23/12/2006 19:40

Stick with it - and don't mention the 'D' word again!
Could you buy him a special book of bedtime stories and tell him it is for big boys just like him? It might make it easier for him to disassociate bedtime with his dummy.

JARMgotstuckupthechimney · 23/12/2006 19:41

we wanted to do this with Jessica this christmas but we think we are having to back out.

Rebecca is 14 months and still has hers, and I dont feel she is ready to give it up yet, and for Jessica to give hers up without Rebecca giving up hers will cause too many tantrums and hatred towards Rebecca.

I hate Jessica having her dummy, it bugs me no end, but I dont feel I can take it away without taking it away from Rebecca too.

SpicymulledSheraz · 23/12/2006 19:42

Walked into Gp ' what is that in his mouth ?' he bellowed. I was sooo embarrassed and so was Ds. It gave us both a kick uoo the bum, was embarrassing but ver helpful in the end. In fact wrote to Gp to thank him....

Chandra · 23/12/2006 19:45

DS needed a bottle to go to sleep, I explained to him that that had to stop as he was ruining his teeth, I told him to look at them and then to look at mine to see how separate his were becoming (obviously, there are bigger spaces between milk teeth). That was it, he accepted it

.... However, as his best friend goes to sleep with a ribbon (yes, a ribbon who in an earlier life was part of a teddy bear), now DS is carrying a ribbon around (sigh*)

choley · 30/03/2009 17:07

I tried last night but it was traumatic. DS , 3ys woke up screaming for hours at a time. Was like giving up heroin or something, he was shaking, screaming, panicking, i eventually gave in at 3am as i couldn't cope.
Dont know weather to wait now and wean off slowly as he only has it at bed, or go hard this week.

Claire2009 · 30/03/2009 17:10

DD is 3yrs 1mth and still has hers. DS is 23mths with one too, when I bite the bullet and get rid I need to do them both at once....

popperdoodles · 30/03/2009 17:21

We did the dummy fairy for my older 2. They were probably 3.5 maybe closer to 4. Both were only having it at night or if poorly. Dummy gets put under pillow and is exchanged by dummy fairy for a small present. It was asked for quite a bit over the first week or so but we didn't give in. At night they were fine and I took that to mean we had done the right thing and they were ready to get rid of it. Youngest ds is 2.5 and still has a dummy for sleep and when ill or tired. We have a rule that he has to sit down and rest if he wants it. he is not allowed to play or walk about with it. Will do dummy fairy again when I think he is old enough to understand properly.

webby12345 · 01/04/2009 17:19

we told our daughter that the worms needed the dummy and we took her outside to dig a hole in the ground she got messy and loved it she put the dummy in the ground and filled it over, everytime she asked for the dummy we reminded her that the worms had it now for their babies, we had tantrums,screaming in the night but we kept on reminding her where it had gone and soon she stopped asking

kbaby · 05/04/2009 00:16

With both mine I cut them up

We got rid of DS last month when he was 2.5yrs

I got up early one morning and found every dummy in the house then cut the teats off them all and put them back where he normally keeps them. He asked me for a dummy and very casually I told him they were in his cupboard. He went and got one and saw the top and said that it was broken. Then h got another etc. I told him that as he had sucked them so much he mustve sucked a hole in them. He put them all on a table because he was going to ask grandad to fix them. Th only time that day he asked for his dummy was when he was tired. Then I told him her could have a broken one if he wanted and he replied no. That was it. No crying, no looking for them and he went to bed fine that night and slept right through.

We did the same thing with DD when she was 2.10yrs and she was easy to give them up too.
I would really recommend this way. I think they feel that they have made the decision themselves to give the dummy up and thats why theres no crying and because I dont deny them the broken dummy they arent annoyed because I stopped them having it iyswim.
Give it ago. Its made so much difference to DS speech I wish I had done it sooner.

HonkingAntelope · 05/04/2009 00:23

Wow kbaby, that sounds like a fabulous idea. I will certainly be giving that a go with dd (2.5)

Claire2009 · 05/04/2009 00:27

With DD, I've started telling her 'the fairies are coming to take ALL the dummies away & they will leave you & DS a present'...

Haven't actually got round to it yet but I will soon, she is looking forward to the present - have to decide what first! Needs to be different & exciting...........

She'll be ok I think (3.2) but DS (2) will be difficult.....

Poppity · 05/04/2009 00:38

We whittled it down to one left just before a dentist visit. Got the dentist to tell him it was bad for his teeth, then later that day tied the last dummy to a tree in the garden for the fairies. In the morning the fairies had left a present for him. It worked really well, good luck!

Poppity · 05/04/2009 00:39

Dh just said we did a little present in the tree for a few mornings in a row.

LeylaKier · 05/04/2009 04:58

I tried a similar thing to you doubleh - DD (almost 3) gave them all to Santa at Christmas quite happily, but then turned into a manic hyper child for five days. She didn't complain, she simply didn't sleep. She couldn't go to sleep at all during the day, and at night she wouldn't settle and woke frequently, but never mentioned the dummy. When upset she screamed and cried and wasn't to be comforted (normally she'd go find dog and dummy). She didn't want her stuffed dog either because it was one part of the symbiotic "dog'n'dummy" so she threw it out of her cot. "Doggy is not good any more mummy." We told her she mustn't be ready and gave the dummies back ("you can give them to Santa when you are 3" and she still reminds us of this). However I'm thinking of letting her have the dummy until she ditches it of her own accord. A friend said she did that with her boy who eventually gave the dummy up at about 4 yrs.

RipMacWinkle · 05/04/2009 07:18

Choley - we did this last month. DS is 2.5. Had exactly the same experience as you. DH commented that it was like watching Renton in Trainspotting. But we did manage to not give in (v v difficult I know) and the next night he barely noticed. He's mentioned it about a dozen times since. Each time I've batted away with a quick "you don't need a dummy, you're big boy now".

For us, cold turkey was the only way to go. It was a day and night of pain but well worth it. Now we can finally see his beautiful smile instead of a dummy all the time!

Good luck. I wish I'd had the strength to do it a bit earlier. I will do next time!

firstyme · 22/05/2009 14:59

Giving up dummy...hmm not an easy job.
this page might help

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