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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

dummy or no dummy

16 replies

mumyagain37 · 22/12/2006 07:12

Hi, I have a 10 week dd and the question is dummy or no dummy, she is fairly placid but sometimes gets colic and I don't know whether to use dummy to soothe. had one with dd1 and she wouldn't give it up until she was just over two. any help or advice appreciated.

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Quootiepie · 22/12/2006 07:13

ummm... I don't know how a dummy would soothe colic. Id try not to, unless it was a last resort...

thefatfairy · 22/12/2006 07:54

my dd had a dummy from day one until just after her 2nd birthday. not sure about the colic but as a comforter i think they are great, dd had not had any problems caused by a having a dummy.

lulumama · 22/12/2006 07:59

colic tends to disappear around 12 weeks or so.........i personally wouldn;t give a dummy now....if she is fairly placid on the whole........x

TinsellyRhino · 22/12/2006 08:09

I would avoid like the palgue but that is honestly because I am so wimpy that I know that I wouldn't be able to make her give it up when she got older if she didn't give it up herself and I don't agree with older children with them.
I'm not sure it would help with the colic anway.

LRWG · 22/12/2006 08:44

DD only has hers when in her cot and to be honest she usually spits it straight out, so I could probably give it up. She is seven months. Not sure about helping colic but is a good comforter if not used constantly.

Macdog · 22/12/2006 08:45

I didn't use dummy with my dd.
Instead I used to let her suck my pinkie, which seemed to settle her

juuule · 22/12/2006 10:19

9 children. Some of them have had a dummy, some haven't. I have never made them give up their dummies. Some still had a dummy at 5yo. With hindsight I can't really see why people have a problem with them, although with my older children I was made to feel guilty at times by other people. With my younger children I didn't feel it was anyone else's business. The children are now aged from 19y to 3y and none of them have a dummy
If you find it helps you and your dd why deny yourselves?
To be honest, if it's colic it probably won't soothe her anyway.

bealos · 22/12/2006 15:55

Dummies are GREAT for soothing babies, as I'm sure you know mumyagain37. I think people really need to get over the taboo that existed when we were being brought up... I got rid of the dummy at 10 months. Basically cos I'd lost all of them! There were some tears but ds quickly got over it and forgot all about it. I know that the dummy certainly saved my sanity when he was a small baby - ended up using it just to get him to sleep.

pinkmagic1 · 22/12/2006 16:01

My DS 2 1/2 is absolutely addicted to his dummy. He insists on carrying 2 around with him and despite trying most things he just wont give them up. We have a 6 week old DD and I am determined not to let her have one as the hassle of doing away with it is too much and I just don't want to make a rod for my own back again.

justJAM · 22/12/2006 16:51

I think it depends - if LO becomes dependent on it - i.e wakes if it drops out then I would get take the pain of a few days and stop using it. My 3 month old DD uses a dummy (has since birth) and I'm not ashamed. Admittedly she has not become dependent as such as when she drops off and it falls out she doesn't wake for it. She has it for naps/bedtime and when she crys it has soothed her and still does. When she is awkake an amusing herself she doesn't use it - basically, if you want to use one, don't feel guilty - I did at first but soon changed my mind when I saw how much it soothed DD and therefore soothed me. Also, my mum would not give us dummies and we sucked our thumbs and I needed braces. Your LO may not ever start using her thumb, but at least a dummy can be phased out. Hope this helps and remember that ultimately it's down to individual choice - no right or wrong

cruisemum1 · 22/12/2006 20:55

give her a dummy and see if (a) she takes it and (b) it works. If yes to both then go ahead. Good luck!

sunnysideup · 22/12/2006 21:31

well, if you've got to ten weeks without one, why introduce it now? I don't think a dummy would be a better 'soother' for colic than any other way she might find to settle herself....it's perfectly possible for babies not to need a dummy, my ds didn't have one.

I would say as she's already 10 weeks don't introduce it now. Actually it won't be long before she can hold a comfort toy or teddy and learn to comfort herself with that....

cruisemum1 · 22/12/2006 21:41

sunnyside - Respect your opinion but I have to say I disagree. My ds is 15 weeks and really sucky. He would benefit from a dummy (though he won't take one) as I think he would find it a great source of comfort. He has found his thumb but never uses it to comfort himself so it is left to me to be a human dummy (iyswim) which is very tiring and time consuming(!) I say go with the dummy. No offence

justJAM · 22/12/2006 21:46

I'm with cruise - I think it's personal and no one should feel bad for using one

sunnysideup · 22/12/2006 21:48

oh none taken cruisemum, I saw your other thread and totally see why a dummy would be a godsend for you (if only the little blighter would take one!) and they are great for others too...

I guess I'm going on my own experience which was that ds would not take a dummy in his very early weeks, so we never went down that road and he did learn to comfort himself in other ways so it was nice not to have the dummy issue; so many people say that they might help GET them off to sleep but they don't gain anything because they are then up and down all night putting the dummy back in when baby screams....

there's also the thing of all the endless negotiating I've seen friends do when the kids are older, about when they can and can't have the dummy etc etc...

It just seems simpler without one to me but yes that's just my experience. 90% of babies seem to have them so whaddo I know!

justJAM · 22/12/2006 22:00

I make you right sunny and to be honest If I did have to get up to replace DD's dummy (luckily it's not a prop for her she just spits it out before she fully drops off)I would stop using one so completey see where you are coming from - but it has saved my sanity when DD had wind - defo used to calm her crying and It would upset me so much to see her upset that I thank God they were invented.

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