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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Why do children lie??

16 replies

LadyTophamHatt · 19/12/2006 18:38

And why does it feel like my head will explode when DS1 does it????

It's constant.

evryday we have at least one arguement about him lying.

Drives me f*cking mad!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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TMInamechanger · 19/12/2006 18:42

Stop arguing and see if he stops lying - it sounds like he is getting a top reaction from you and likes the attention (even though it is bad attention).

7swansaswimmingup · 19/12/2006 18:47

sympathies for you,my ds has been lying or fibbing whatever you want to call from the age of 7or8, i cant be bothered with the agro anymore, hes 12 now

CurlyN · 19/12/2006 18:48

My 5 Year ds is also very able to spin a good lie, we have tried the nice little chat numerous times about how its not nice to lie, also the one about lying is worse in the long run, numerous times, even the you'll end up in prison with bread and water one. any other ideas please

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 19/12/2006 18:49

well, that is one of the major things we have with him.

He's almost 8 and can't seem to see that getting attention via good behaviour/not lying is better than getting it by being shouted at IYSWIM.

Anyway, it's impossible to ignore.

Yesterdays one was that at bed tiome he took the light saber onto his bed(top bunk). It was already passed their bed time so he/they knew it was bed time with no play etc.
Ds2 said "Mum X has got the light saber in bed"
I told him to put in back on the floor and he said "it wasn't on the floor, it was already on my bed"

Well, it wasn't on his bed because I'd tripped over the bloody thing 30 seconds before hand after leaving the room. He got out of bed and got it when I left the room.

It's mostly silly things like that. But it's over and over and over and over again.

OP posts:

indigNativity · 19/12/2006 18:49

I seem to remember from one of the Robert Winston programmes that this was a normal stage of development and you were only supposed to worry if your child didn't do it - having said that - I think he was talking about 3yo at the time - how old is your ds1 ?

indigNativity · 19/12/2006 18:50

sorry crossed posts

FrostyTheSnowMarsLady · 19/12/2006 18:51

because they can??????????

7swansaswimmingup · 19/12/2006 18:54

when my ds was 8 he cut the forelock off one of my sisters ponies

apparently he thought it needed a haircut cause it couldnt see. anyway my sis went so mad about it he lied to her about not doing it cause he was scared.she thought it was vandals and phoned the police, the police interviewed ds and he categorically denied it.

i prised the truth out of him over a 40minute interrogation. i praised him for telling the truth, my mother said i shouldnt have praised him and we fell out for nearly a year.

love her dearly again now.

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 20/12/2006 08:52

Mars.....you're not allowed to answer with posts like that.

I want reasons goddammit!!!

OP posts:

orangecake · 20/12/2006 09:09

I think all children lie, it doesn't make them bad children (quite the opposite infact) and I would be more concerned that my children didn't/wouldn't/can't lie to me, then if they did.

Certainly in younger children, it's an important sign of development but in an older child, it's still pretty normal.

I think as children get older they begin to realise what little control they have over their day to day exisence, so your ds's lying may just be a way of getting back some of that control.

The more attention you draw to it, the more prolific it will become, try to ignore it if possible. If nothing else, it shows he has a good imagination and a bit of gumption!

justaphase · 20/12/2006 09:18

Adults also lie don't they? It is a vital skill in life.

He is just practising now, he will master it as a teenager.

It is a normal developmental stage, I think. It must be an important one because my first lie (at around the age of 3.5) is one of my most vivid early childhood memories.

orangecake · 20/12/2006 09:25

I am always slightly in awe of my own ability to lie completley convincingly, even as an adult

blueshoes · 20/12/2006 13:09

so true, orangecake, about why children lie. At a youngish age, it is not necessarily naughty behaviour.

I clearly need to take lessons in lying from you

moosh · 20/12/2006 13:20

My ds1 aged nearly 7 can spin a yarn or two. Sometimes you really don't know what to believe. Dp even told him about the "Boy Who Cried Wolf" story a few times. To no avail. He still tells porkies.
I think most of the time it is for a joke but sometimes I can really see where its going to get him into trouble.
The other week, he told his TA that I said he doesn't have to wear a coat at lunchtimes in the playground. When I came to collect him, she asked and I told her that he lied and I always insist to him that he should put his coat on at lunch times. that lie apparently had been going on for quite a few weeks!!!!!
I told her to feel free and let him know that we know he's been lying. He does get told off if the lie is quite serious I hope its a phase because I really don't know what to believe.!!!

jampots · 20/12/2006 13:24

my dds friend lies terribly - her mum even tells me about the problem and she's at her wits end. The most recent thing she's said but we dont actually know its a lie is that her friend committed suicide!

DD and i think its a lie because no one has actually met this friend of hers who lives round the corner. Also her mum hasnt mentioned it which if it were true would happen. I feel terrible thinking that way but i guess thats what happens when people do lie

EmmyLou · 20/12/2006 19:06

My dd1 lies a lot. She's 11 and I cannot for the life of me see why at that age she can't deduce that i will find out she hasn't given me her school report (btw, a good one - so just what was the motive?) as there is an accompanying slip to be filled in and given to teacher next term.

She really doesn't seem to see/live beyond the moment.

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