My 4 year old is obsessed with talking about death/dying/killing ......

[GodRestYeMerryNORTHERNERs]

In his nativity play he didn't want to be Joseph he wanted to be 'the man who kills jesus', if he gets red felt pen on him it's really blood and he's going to die, if I tell him to not climb on walls he says 'Why? Will I crack my head open and die?'

Today he asked how to kill a kitten (and yes we have a kitten), in his defense he did say he wasn't going to kill her he was just asking.

Hmmmmmm. Any advice?

DS1 was like this for a while when he first started school. Everything was death and glory for a while. He's now nearly 11, and has just spent 20 minutes making a home for an injured worm that his brother ran over with his skateboard. One extreme to the other!

TBH, I have yet to come accross a small boy (and some girls) who didn't go thru this stage. my ds1 did - at 4, became very morbid and constantly asking about when we were going to die, crying about us all going to die one day, what happened after you died, wanting to look round graveyards, wanting to know about heaven, did animals go there too? did worms eat us up and did worms go to heaven too Lasted about 5 months and then he got over it.

Now I worry as at 9, although he is normally very sensitive, he said he doesn't feel moved by what he sees on TV (ie any suggestion of violence, death, sadness) as he knows it is not real. . .

My friend's very girly 5 year old at the same time, was found playing in the graden with a dead pigeon - and my friend was worrying her child was going to grow up as a pschopath! She's 9 now too and doesn't appear to have grown up as a wierdo

What I mean to say is, talk to him about death in a way he can understand, be led by him and his questions but don't worry too much about it, they are learning about the world and trying on different aspects of personality at this stage. At the same time, encourage that nuturing aspect of his personality, talk to him about looking after vulnerable things maybe.

This is definitely not a boy thing, I started a thread about 6 months ago about my dd's obsession with death. She's 4.3 now and although the intensity of her fixation on death has lessened since I posted about it, she still suddenly gets very upset. She's frightened about herself dying and asks lots of questions like 'will I be able to move my legs when I'm dead?' 'what will happen to my clothes when I'm dead?' and sometimes getting very upset about who will die first, me or her, how she'll get to 'Heaven' if I'm not alive to take her. And in her play she'll frequently make up games in which her toys die or fall into a 'deep coma' so that their friends think they're dead.

I've had phases of being very worried about it and then it passes so I assume it's just a natural part of working out the important and frightening things in life.

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Mine kept asking when grandad would die as he was 'old'. Then he would cry because he didn't want me to die! It was a phase. I think they begin to understand the concept of losing loved ones and it scares them.

I suppose I would have had a minor tear of pride if DS wanted to kill Jesus, but we had to be content with him being the horse. Part of me is happy that the dippy Christians managed to have a pig in the stable...
Part of me is sad that the opposition relies upon numbers rather than intellect.

DS wants for Xmas a book of "all the ways people die", but out of medical interest, since he wants to avoid it happening to him. He has determined that I will die on my 100th birthday. His logic is quite impeccable, though somewahat macabre

LOL DoC, you and my dh would get on sooo well....How old is your child?

Sounds like a combination of having quite a vivid imagination and an enquiring nature!

My grandson is obsessed with murder. 5 years old
My daughter wakes up with him sat staring at her boyfriend at the side of the bed . Asked me do you get presents in jail?
Talks about knifes.