4/5 year old girls...

[resipsa]

My daughter is 4 and in reception. She has come home upset again today and tells me that some of the other girls have been saying 'not nice' things to her. These seem to include telling her that no one likes her, that no one wants to talk to her and that no one wants to play with her . The girls in question went to the nursery attached to the school and so knew each other before starting school. My daughter didn't.
I'm new to all this so have no idea if this is just 'normal' behaviour for girls at this stage or if it is worth saying something to the teacher. It seems like bullying but I don't know if 4/5 year olds are really capable of it. WWYD? Raise it or ignore and assume it'll be forgotten by January? Thanks for any wisdom.

Definitely mention it. It doesn't matter if you call it bullying at that age or not. What matters is that it is your job as her parent to be her voice. I wouldn't hesitate to speak to the teacher. If it's a good school they will speak to them about how it's kind to be friendly to all.

Thanks. It's tricky to know what's real at this age but she tells me the same thing consistently so there must be something to it. She's normally very happy and confident so it's sad to see her deflated by unkind words. I don't think it would occur to her to say this sort of thing to another child.

Check with the teacher as you are only getting one side of the story. My DD (5) was telling me how miserable a day she had had as she was the only girl at dress up day to not be in a princess dress (I had told her this was likely but she insisted she wanted to wear her Halloween outfit). The teacher reassured me that she had been fine and had been enjoying 'scaring' everyone with her skeleton outfit!

Yes talk to the teacher if it's consistently happening.

I'd mention it to the teacher. It is upsetting her which would be enough for me

This happened to me when I was 5. I carried it around for weeks before telling my mum. She spoke to the mothers of the little girls involved and before long we were all friends. Could you speak to the parents do you think? Chances are they'd be mortified and want to sort it out do everyone can play together!

Unfortunately it's quite normal but something you should speak to the teacher about.
My DD had similar issues in reception but from the girls she went to nursery with. They would go from being best friends to not wanting to play with her so quickly and for no reason it confused her and was very upsetting.

She would have accidents in the playground as she'd worry that if she left the game to go to the toilet they wouldn't let her join back in!

Now in yr1 the classes were mixed up (there are 2 for each yr group) it has improved but can still happen on the odd occasion.

Yes definitely talk to the teacher, if you feel it is something that wasn't just a one off 'handbags' incident.