Embarrassing playdate with new friend

[PickleAndPudding]

We relocated a few months ago and I've been trying to meet new people. Have struck up a friendship with a lovely mum nearby, and have had two meet ups with her. One at my house and one at hers.

For some reason DD (22 months and usually pretty well behaved) has been really obnoxious on both occasions - hitting her DS, throwing toys and being a real pest with her dog (which particularly worried me cos I'm not familiar with this dog, and don;t know how tolerant it is with kids IYKWIM). I seemed to spend the whole time trying to stop DD through distraction (which meant that I kept breaking off mid-chat from my friend, and felt rude) and then I (stupidly) out of exasperation threatened DD with going home (but I'd only been there for less than half an hour, and felt daft/rude following through on the threat).

Feel cringey about the whole thing. Sigh...

What would you have done? Follow through with the threat of leaving early? I just feel like she would have thought I was over-reacting to DD's misbehaviour, but I couldn't think of what else to do...

No point making a threat if you won't carry it out. Your child has you as soon as they know you don't mean what you say. I wouldn't worry what the mother thinks of you. We have all been there and hopefully if she is as lovely as you say, she will understand. This is still a new situation and maybe just start off meeting in the park so they get used to each other without being cooped up in the house.

Yeah...I know I should have followed through with the threat. Or even better, not made it in the first place!!

I'm not usually too bothered what other people think...Just felt that today I made a really bad impression!

Was getting all flustered simultaneously trying to breastfeed my wriggly 4 month old DS, and jumping up to intervene with my boob spraying milk everywhere Just felt kind of inept, you know?

Think I will definitely suggest a different venue next time. Good idea. I just feel like DD for some reason doesn't like this little boy! Is it possible for really little kids to just not 'gel' with each other? Probably making this into a bigger deal than it is!

Pickle, you could be me... trying to bf the baby while older sibling creates havoc! I wonder whether there were several issues for DD - a new place, new adult, a dog, a new little friend, and Mummy feeding her little brother and talking to the new adult. It does sound like attention seeking behaviour. My 2.5 year old's behaviour is at its very worst when we are with new people (he is showing off) and I am trying to feed his 3 1/2 month old little brother (he wants the attention that DS2 is getting).

I don't think your friend would think you were rude for carrying through with the threat - probably she would totally understand. I know I would in her shoes.

Don't worry pickle.
If she is a lovely mum as you think she will understand.
Sounds like you have loads going on at the moment what with re-locating and a little baby and toddler.
I think the neutral meet up is often a good idea,although in this winter weather is sometimes a little trickier than in the summer.
I have been on numerous similar sounding playdates and I think most people would understand.
Remember, the beauty of small children is that youoften don't have much time to dwell on these things, and you will soon have moved onto the next thing.
Good luck

Why don't you give the other mum a quick ring just to say thanks for the playdate and to "have a little laugh" about dd's behaviour... I am totally sure she will not think badly of your dd in any way, but I reckon she would be touched if you thought to call and apologise anyway, and you'll both end up rolling your eyes and going "ooooff toddlers, eh!"
good luck!