Whole list of mad questions - please can experienced mums help?! :)

[Nervouswithnewborn]

Hello! Baby boy four weeks tomorrow and all well so far including regular night feeding meaning am exhausted esp as for some reason cannot sleep when he sleeps in the day as feel too much adrenalin still! Sleep deprivation making me bit nuts and got some questions that wouldn't want to bother gp with but don't know where else to take as none of my other mum friends from nct out and about yet, dh at work and dm lovely but gets worries if thinks I am worried. Any help here would be great!!! So - crying - quite often seems impossible to work out issue. Does have bad gas and got infacol but so much worse some times than others and seems to get in rage about it where can't feed and then afterwards feeds desperately as if had been prevented from doing so, will push breast away one moment then grab on for dear life the next - sound normal? Also, will sleep in crib or anywhere in day but only on me or next to me in bed on our mattress not even in sleepyhead at night - ang ideas what can do about this or if it even matters? Is also obsessed with complicated wallpaper, ceiling and lights and shadows. Once or twice has started deep in my eyes which was lovely but when tried to do that again has looked away or closed eyes - seems to prefer my mum and dh who both wear glasses. Does all this sound ok? Not sure what really worried about just nervous all the time and quite teary!!! Thanks for your support!!!!

First time mum here, well done for getting the time to post! I had thoughts like this and DD is 6 months old now and I'm still doubting myself. I found The Wonder Weeks app very helpful with regards to the development side of things. Staring at patterns (wallpaper etc) is necessary to help baby focus to sit up/crawl etc. DD loves our bedroom curtains.

Definitely see if you can get to a breastfeeding support group. It helped me so much.

I could have written your post and my DD is only 3 weeks. I am in exactly same situation so you're perfectly normal. Turns out I have hyperlactation (same oversupply and letdown issues as you) and apparently this results in gas/wind issues, colic (intense meltdown crying) and pushing breast away and love hate breastfeeding. It also means I spray milk, she sometimes chokes on milk and doesn't sleep well. I have been taking colief and block feeding and have already seen some improvement. Not there yet but haven't had a 5 hour crying attack for a few nights! Hang on in there, apparently it gets easier! ;-)

Hey there, congratulations on your lovely baby!
My little fella is 4 months now and I promise you, it gets easier every day from where you are now. You get more adept at settling them, more assured, and they get more used to life, better able to cope with feeding and everything.

The things that I found very useful were:

1. swaddling to stop the flinging and flailing of arms
2. soothers for comfort suckling
3. a white noise thing (or get an app on your phone, just make sure it doesn't then ring in his ear at the wrong moment!)
4. Dr Harvey Karp's 5 Ss (google it, magic way of soothing baby: side, swaddle, swing, sssh and suck, really did work)
5. if crying is bad, take a change of scenery: pick him up and go look out a window or in the mirror or walk around the garden
6. breast pump to express a bit before feeding to reduce the fire hose effect that leaves them gasping (if you do have a rapid let down and a lot of milk)
7. Moby wrap (love love love this thing, gets me out for walks and he sleeps in it, v comfy and easy once you get used to it)
8. trust your instinct - if you think he's too hot, he probably is, that sort of thing.

When he sleeps in the day, lie down beside him immediately. Don't go and empty the dishwasher or anything, just lie down and close your eyes. If you try and do chores in every nap time, you'll never get enough rest.

Co-sleeping is lovely but if you're extremely tired, might not be the best idea. You can cuddle him in the Sleepyhead too... I rest my head on the edge of the Sleepyhead so our foreheads are touching and one hand is on his kicky legs.

You're doing great! It's clear how much you love him.

I just want to echo everyone's posts by saying it sounds like you are doing an AMAZING job. And don't worry about how your baby feels about you. He will almost see you like his comfort blanket or a comfortable piece of furniture - boring yet utterly essential. It's funny, my DS (14 months now) acts almost uninterested in me if I'm in the room but cries as soon as I leave - that's sort of what it's like.
Anxiety is normal for a first time mum - as long as you're providing milk and cuddles you really can't go wrong. Don't worry about him "feeling" your anxiety - what he can feel is your LOVE and that is a fact!
I hate all those silly guidelines about what they "should" be doing. I got so, so anxious about them with my DD (1st born). She did some things slightly later, well now she is a bright and wonderful 4 year old and there are no concerns whatsoever about her development, so screw those irritating emails that tell you, "Your baby will now be doing this." Well, maybe they won't!
My dd didn't crawl until 12 months. She only rolled across the room. My friend's ds didn't walk until he was 18 months old. They are both perfectly "normal" and wonderful and their own unique selves. Thank God I don't read any of that stuff with my 2nd. As long as he looks alert and as though he is learning things I don't care. But it's so normal and so easy to worry with your first.
Just enjoy your cuddles, enjoy your tickles, sing your baby some silly songs. Everyone here can tell that you're a wonderful mum. :)