Introvert DS with speech delay

[redexpat]

Had a meeting yesterday with speech therapist and nursery to see how DS is doing. They took great pains to describe how he lies on the ground with his cars and doesnt ever really want to join in. He sometimes doesnt answer or react to what they say. He is much better in small groups. I asked if they thought there was an underlying cause like autism, and they dont. But him not wanting to join in or play with the others was seen as a massive problem. But he has always been like this. He loved his CM and the 3 other boys who were there. They are all at nursery with him and when he does play with others its usually them.

This morning i woke up and had a lightbulb moment. Is it possible that he is just an introvert, and that this is impacting on his speech? Do any wise mnetters have experience of this, book suggestions are always welcome

I wouldn't say being an introvert would affect speech...unless he talks Much more at home...does he?

If so, then I would look at Selective Mutism. My DD was borderline for this...if he doesn't/can't talk a lot at home then I would see the GP and ask for an appointment with a developmental pediatrician. They can assess him properly unlike nursery.

Thats an interesting point worth considering, thanks.

I don't think there is a MASSIVE PROBLEM, and if they actually said that I think it is irresponsible to put fears in your head. You don't seem to have said how old he is, and age could make a big difference.

Can he hear? Have you had him tested properly and recently? If not, I would try very hard to get an audiology screening. DS was like that at 2 and when I expressed concern the health visual organised a screening. He had v bad glue ear which delayed speech, social development and adversely affected behaviour. Also, the deafness from glue ear can come and go, so he might hear you whisper one day and not understand when you call him with a normal voice the next day. When our son finally had the grommets operation things improved very quickly on the hearing front. Speech and behaviour are taking longer, but he is a very different boy.

Get his hearing tested as a first thing.

As a second thing, get as much from the school in writing as you can, even if it is you sending an email to clarify what they have told you. This will help you keep a record in case things or concerns develop.

I also think you should get a hearing test even (especially in fact) if you are absolutely sure that he can hear perfectly.

Because if it is more the alternative (challenges with sensory integration) you do not want to be fobbed off in two years' time by professionals telling you to get a hearing test....

Whoops yes I can see I missed quite a lot of vital info out of my OP. Sorry for the drip feed!

DS is 4. We live in Denmark so the setup is a bit different too. He has been having speech therapy for 6 months. I wanted to get him started sooner, when he was still at the childminder (0-3 go to CM, 3+ is kindergarden) but they said that his speech would probably blossom in the first 6 months at kindergarden. It didnt.

He had ear infections just after his first birthday and had drains put in (dont know what they're called in English) and has been checked regularly by the ear doctor. Last time was 6 months ago, the drains had fallen out, she checked his hearing and it was ok.
I am getting his hearing checked again soon.
At the meeting they mentioned that DS usually has a runny nose, so it might be that he has had a build up of fluid in the meantime, that it might be happening and clearing up without us noticing, as SuiGeneris mentions.
At the meeting they also mentioned I should discuss with the ear dr a referral to the hearing clinic, where they do more detailed tests in different spaces etc.

I've had a quick look at selective mutism, and I dont think it's that, as it affects people who are capable of speech, and DS isn't very clear, and doesnt talk much at all. He is also bilingual - English and Danish (which believe it or not are actually quite closely related). But here in Denmark they dont have quite the same experience with bilingualism as we do in the UK. Since the start of november he has started chatting to me a bit more, telling me what he can see on the way home, the weather, what's in the sky etc.

I have started an email thread between his nursery worker, the speech therapist, ccing in the nursery boss, so there is a record.

They didnt exactly say that it is a MASSIVE PROBLEM but they were quite clear that he doesnt play with others in the the way that they would expect a child of his age to. I've noticed that when we pick him up in the afternoon and he is playing inside, he is usually alone, occasionally with the 3 other boys from CM, but if he is outside he is playing with others on the trampoline or on the bikes. There is a very big emphasis on getting children to be social here. It's as important as learning to read and write, possibly more so.

ok lots of info!

Well "Quiet" is the best selling book on introversion. Very big on the concept that whilst one can learn to cope with big social situations, one draws one's strength from quieter more intimate ones..... so an introvert could shine at a party yet feel drained and crave solitude the next day.

Anyway, whatever you think of the book, you sound like a lovely mum.

If his speech is a problem then it will be difficult for him to interact with the other children and deal with the negotiations that interactive play requires. My ds school/nursery always told me that he liked playing on his own but that was not true; my ds found playing with others too much of a challenge most of the time and it was just easier for him to play on his own. He loved it when other children included him (a difficult task for self-absorbed 4 year olds). My ds also liked playing with cars as imaginative play, even on your own, requires more speech. What are the nursery doing to help? My ds had a TA who would spend half an hour each day with ds and a couple of other children (different ones who would enjoy playing the game) playing games and encouraging interactive speech. This was in addition to but under the guidance of his speech therapist.