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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

'the baby did it'...is it normal for 3.4 yr old to blame others for things hes done?

17 replies

divastrop · 08/12/2006 20:41

my ds2 is 3.4 and for the past few weeks he's started blaming his brother and sisters for things hes done.nothing bad,but for example he always says that dd1(8)has pumped if he has,and earlier i asked him if he'd left the front room light on and he said'the baby did it'(she is 12m old and not even crawling yet).he smiles when hes saying these things.is this quite common for a child his age to do?

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notreallyhereDee · 08/12/2006 20:42

yes.

Marina · 08/12/2006 20:43

Yes. Wait til the baby strikes back though. Won't be long before she can talk and fabricate evidence with the rest of them...

Original poster

divastrop · 08/12/2006 20:54

yes,i remember telling him 9 months ago when he was going through a hitting stage that one day his baby sister would be big enought o fight back...now she hits him and pulls his hair and he wont retaliate cos he knows shes just a baby and it would be wrong

he is learning valuable lessons for life!

OP posts:

TheOlihantheIvy · 08/12/2006 20:57

did you see the 'Child of our Time' episode they did when the kids were about 3 or 4? They put them in a room with a massive chocolate cake, told them they weren't allowed to eat it, then left the room. ALL of the kids helped themselves to cake and almost every single child then lied and said they hadn't eaten any, despite having chocolate all over their faces . Lots of them blamed siblings/pets/imaginary friends too. It was really funny but Robert Winston basically said it's a completely normal developmental phase at that age. It's also not 'lying' as we see lying as adults because it's not intentionally manipulative or deceitful, at that age children don't have much concept of truth or fiction!

BonyM · 08/12/2006 21:02

Well, dd2, who is 20mths, has recently started blaming her 8yr old sister for things!

For example, I'll teasingly say "Who's made all this mess?" when it's just her and me in the house and I've been in the room while she's done it, and she'll reply "DD1 do it" .

southeastastra · 08/12/2006 21:08

my son used to blame the rabbits or sometimes his teddy, he blames his brother all the time now!

Nemoinapeartree · 08/12/2006 21:12

completely normal, Ds is 3.2yrs and often blames DD[nearly 1] for a lot of things..or the dog!!

notreallyhereDee · 08/12/2006 21:14

this is quite worrying, (i already know dd2 has AS traits) but she has never said anyone else did something, she always admits to it. its so striking that difference between her and other kids. she is now 4. she has lied once, when i asked if she had bitten dd1, and she said no. just the once.

funkadelic · 08/12/2006 21:14

Mine (DS 3.8) has taken to blaming Grandad (who lives with us) for everything, no doubt he will start on his baby brother soon!!

southeastastra · 08/12/2006 21:20

haha poor grandad!

mummydear · 08/12/2006 21:51

My 4 yr old blames the cats for everything, poor cats they rea 16 yrs ols and spend most of their time sleeping and out of the way of the children !

Original poster

divastrop · 09/12/2006 12:10

notreallyheredee-my ds1(nearly 9)is crrently being assessesd by child phsychologist as he shows some as traits,and he never went through this stage either,thats why i wondered if it was normal.he has lied,and still does,but he doesnt think of blaming anybody else.
dd1 is 8 and i cant remember her blaming others for things,but shes always been honest as the day is long and very articulate,so she would be more likely to do something naughty then explain why she did it,eg 'i drew on the wall because it looked boring and i wanted to do a picture'

OP posts:

edam · 09/12/2006 12:17

My little sister tried to get away with drawing - in biro - on the wall in the hall by claiming 'daddy did it'. She couldn't understand why we all fell about laughing!

Ds, 3.5, doesn't blame other people (yet) but does point blank deny things I have seen him do and he knows I've seen him do. Still tells Father Christmas he's been a good boy, though.

Marne · 09/12/2006 12:24

Yes, dd1 started this a few day's ago, i was washing up, could hear dd2 eating something so i went to have a look and they are both sat there eating biscuits, Dd1 says dd2 got them from of the computer desk (where i had left them), dd2 is 9 months

ThrockenAroundTheChristmasTree · 09/12/2006 12:38

oh yes - mine frequently blame the dog - eg for writing DS1's name on the wall - we have a very clever dog !

It is a developement stage - shows they are realising you can think something different to them.

motherinfurrierfestivefrock · 09/12/2006 13:42

DD1 once tried to claim the cat had drawn on our walls.

sandcastlesforanaussiexmas · 10/12/2006 00:20

my dd (2.3 at the time) blamed our dog for

Pulling choc of xmas tree & eating it (even thos she had choc al over her face & the wrapper was taken off too)

Scribbling on the walls.....

We had a clever dog!

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