Hi there, in just wondering if anyone can relate to me at all. My 5.5 year old son has presented many behaviours since just past his first birthday. It started off with what I thought was the terrible two's with his temper tantrums and not listening to me ect. I wouldn't say I was strict on him because he was only little when it started and many people would acknowledge he was a handful but also that its usual and he's only little ect. As times gone on Iv attempted to put boundaries in place, consequences and used the naughty step, calm talking and reward charts. When I talk to him he appears to listen but as soon as we are done talking and Iv explained what consequence he will have if he does it again within 5 minutes he's doing the same again. Iv explained the rules of the naughty/thinking step that he must sit quietly for 5 minutes, he must not come off or scream at me or throw things near him but whilst on the step he repeatedly does these things, resulting him being on there longer. I'm very calm and I think im in control but he pushes buttons I didn't realise I had and I end up cross and upset and like I can't manage the behaviour. It doesn't matter how many times I tell him the step rules it's like he forgets and constantly questions how long do I need to be on here, I want to come off, mum, mummy. Ect, I always explain but it doesn't seem to go in. His behaviour at times is out of control and he gets so angry if something doesn't work or if he can't have something. It's not in a spoilt way he really appears so distressed and almost fearful if somethings not working. He doesn't like to go to bed or be in any darkness at all, he's terrified and will protest so much with crying and begging me not to send him to bed, even with a story, night light and cuddles which he has every night, in the end I give up and lay in bed with him comforting him. Many times I fall asleep too and in the morning I'm rushed off my feet before school doing jobs I couldn't get done the night before. He often wakes in the night or like 5am to get up, he's wide awake and his mind is running wild, I try to get him back to sleep but it's impossible, he's then so tired and tearful. He appears like he can't accept rules, I can tell him something 100 times and when I ask him to repeat what Iv said he cries and says he doesn't know it or can't remember. Lately at school he's been getting in trouble with being loud, interrupting others and shouting out in lesson despite his teacher pulling him aside to explain acceptable behaviours, he has behavioural charts at school but for him it's almost impossible to follow even though Iv enforced the same thing at home and it's full of great rewards that he's is so excited to receive. Yet he doesn't follow the rules and never gets rewards, when he doesn't get them he's so upset and remorseful of his behaviour. Just recently we had a discussion about making sure he wipes his bottom properly after the loo and washing his hands afterwards. I explained reasons why we must all so this and explained about germs and unhealthy things that can come from being unclean. I may have made a mistake here because now he is obsessed with washing his hands and using the toilet. He wakes during the night and instantly panics and says in a fearful voice mummy I need the toilet and to wash my hands. Every 5 minutes he's in the bathroom and if I try and distract him and stop him doing this so frequently he is terrified and cries and runs to the bathroom to do it. It was a simple lesson in hygiene but it's escalated out of control. He makes friends and keeps them I fact he's very popular among his peers but also quite particular about his role in playing games, he has to do things his way and sharing can be somewhat a problem. If he gets a bit of water on his clothes he panics and has to change it rather than allowing the drop to dry. He goes into school very well and is quite confident but when I leave to go to work he sobs and begs me to stay, same if I manage to stay awake after cuddling him in his bed and i get out to do jobs, if he wakes up he runs out after me. Sometimes he can't finish a meal on his own and cries and protests if I ask him to eat more, but if I feed him he will eat until his hearts content. When doing homework if he gets a word wrong in his reading book and I explain he nearly got it right but to try again he gets so angry and screams he can't do it. No matter what I try most days are a struggle, the school and myself can't seem to find a solution and I'm really worried about him 
he's such a loving, polite, caring, sweet child and always wants to please me bless him but although he tries so hard he can't keep things up like being calm, a quiet voice or accepting what a grown up says. He's very easily distracted and can't keep still most of the time. It's quite stressful when we go out for family days and fun because he is stressed or angry about something or obsessed with just doing a certain thing. Is this normal for his age or do I need to speak to someone about it? There's lots more to add to this and possibly an incident to add which I feel could have caused further anxiety. But without mentioning that right now I was wondering if anyone could help advise me or have an input? I'm so very tired, Iv got other children too and juggling it all is exhausting and I just want to make sure I'm doing right by my children, they are my world, my heart and sole! I feel like I'm failing them because I just do not know where to turn. Thanks for reading xx