Anyone having trouble with, or got any solutions for, daytime napping/nighttime settling of three month old babes (or thereabouts?) If so, I would LOVE to hear from you [fsmile]

[cruisemum1]

I have ds 13 weeks who has no trouble falling asleep in his car seat/on the go. But with the end of the Christmas term drawing near and therefore no real reason to go out early morning/early afternoon I don't know what I am going to do to settle him. He has never napped in his cot but I dream of the day when I can put him down for his nap and get on with stuff indoors instead of having to go out just so that he can sleep! Also, his naps are fairly short (30mins usually) other than his morning nap of 1 - 1.5hrs taken in car seat during school run. I know I am gonna have to bite the bullet and cross this bridge but I have put it off so far because a)he was so little that as long as he napped I didn't mind where and b) I am a coward and don't want the whole day to be spent with a fractious baby who has not slept . Also, should he be napping at regular times by now or is it still to early to expect that? Your advice will be most gratefully received
btw he is bf and still feeds every 2 to 2.5hrs too so advice on that score would also be welcomed

Jam - 40 mins is a good start that is 40 mins longer than my ds (mind you, to be fair, I have been too cowardly to try - hence this thread). how long does yours nap per day? Are they regular naps? How do you do it?

Lyra - how old is your lo?

no honey - not regular and can't work out why I have been letting DD nap in bouncy chair lately instead of cot as I didn't want to put her off it aI knew I was moving her in there at night. Once I know she is settled I'm gonna really try to get her taking proper naps in her cot. Personally I don't agree with controlled crying so I'm guessing it will take a while like teaching her to do down at night did....just use repetative reassurance, keep going in and reassuring her. It's harder when she doesn't complain really but just won't sleep....I never know what to do then???? I'm off to do her dream feed now, back soon x

Cut and pasted this from another recent thread. This is something I did.

Do you have a pram or a buggy? This works better with a pram but can still work with a buggy too. Put a flat slipper or something similar on the floor and push the pram/buggy (with baby in it of course) over the slipper, back and forward fairly quickly. It makes the pram rock a bit like going over cracks in the pavement. Usually rocks baby to sleep. Worth a try.

oh my god!
you could be talking aboaut dd3 who is 12 weeks old - mornings are fine as have the school run and pick up at 12, so she has a couple of naps then, but once she wakes up about 2ish (after lunch) she is up until midnight!!!!!!
still awake now
am bfing her - once she IS asleep she sleeps for a good 4/5 hours, but my evenings esp are awful awful awful. she jsut wants to be held....even stops crying as I approach her bouncy chair and go to pick her up. Maybe I need to find a swing
will try some advice here.....

have you tried just putting him in his cot when he is tired & leaving him ? I have tried for a the soothing, picking up putting down & my DD just wouldn't have any of it & I felt terrible.

In the end I put her down (& she was SO tired) & went downstairs, because I was also exhausted. Within 2 mins of screaming she was fast alseep.

Checked with my HV who told me that some babies just NEED to cry. It's like they have to discharge that energy/frustration/whatever to get to sleep. By picking her up & trying to help, I was actually making it worse.

Now immediately I pick up she is tired (or it's an hour after last awake) I draw the curtains, say sleepy time & put her down. She some times has a little grumble, but that's it.

Bottom line, it's ok to let them cry for a couple of mins (providing no wind/not hungry/clean nappy etc!).

My DD2 is 20 weeks & I'd started around the time of your DS. Also, when we are at home, I sometimes have to feed her mid nap as she is also BF & feeds every 2.5-3.5 hours. And she mostly always has a squeak after 45 mins & if not distrubed, she will settle herself.

HTH

PS they do sleep much better in their beds/your beds than bouncy chairs - bit like sleeping on a plane seat !

I would have liked DS to nap in his cot too (and he did, beautifully, a few months later, and carried on doing it until we transitioned him to a bed) but it just wasn't happening for him at that age and I was getting no rest, bursting into tears all the time and my family were trying to persuade me that I had PND and should seek medical help (when really I was just sooooooo tired -- within a couple of days of using the swing I was a new woman and DS was a new baby who wasn't tired and cranky all the time).

I'm definitely not saying that you should do it, because it doesn't sound like it's for you, but it definitely wasn't being "relaxed" that motivated me... more being "desperate and on the point of cracking up completely"

You are all so helpful. I will read more late when I have had coffee and toast! Thankyou - I feel like I am not the only one.

ok here goes
Jam -it is so hard to get it right isn't it? I just want to relax and enjoy it. if only i had some order to it all i would be the happiest mummy on earth
Mears - we tried the buggy thing indoors but got tired of humping the bloody thing from boot of car/porch to indoors every time ds was sleepy. it did work tho even if he screamed a little first, so thanks
Hana - my evenings are also totally shot to pieces but usually til 9-10pm. as i have dd nearly 9yo it is really not fair on her as she needs mummy too . i hope we get some good advice on this thread.....your lo sounds so overtired - 10hrs awake at 12 weeks
more later - gotta collect dd from her irish dancing lesson x

mojo - i have tried putting down sleepy etc. He should be in the guiness book of records for crying at such decibels! You have given me some hope tho as you started at the same sort of age as ds is now. I guess I shall have to persevere. Trouble is I seem to spend all day trying to get fractious lo to sleep and achieving bugger all else.... He is currently sleeping like a baby in his car seat bless his cottons.

Hi cruisemum1 - it's awful hearing them cry - but how long does it go on for ? I time it & it's not for more than 5 mins, although it has taken 10 mins of up & down crying to resettle.

Someone mentioned putting them to sleep as soon as they yawn. If they do 3 yawns, you've had it !

Another thing I have done is get DD in my bed, feed her & then I sneak out. This is/was to ensure she got a couple of hours sleep. Of course don't want bad sleep associations

i'm also concerned about feeding frequency during the day. sometimes he will have a full bf and then be looking for more 1 hr later - like now. so hard to know what is deemed ok.... i really feel that i would like some semblence of order back in my life now. getting a bit down about it

sleepfinder/lyra/mears - just put ds down in his buggy (I relented!) he is napping beautifully and went to sleep after about 30 seconds grizzling. Guess I had better stick to what he likes for now .

Still want to know if lo's of this age should be having regular naps and for how long.

How do any of you manage to get your lo's down by 7pm - esp those of you with other children?

I don't think there are hard and fast rules about how many naps and how long - it seems to vary wildly amongst my NCT baby group.

7pm DS is usually grissling quietly which I take to mean "put me to bed" where he grizzles some more for about 5 mins then silence til morning.

I know it won't last though, I bet I've jinxed it just writing it down!!!

me again ! just got DD up. She woke about 2:30, so I got her into bed for a feed, then left & she has slept for 2 hours.

She does love to sleep & will be in bed by 7pm - last night was 6:45pm.

Agree with the importance of structure - have you rad certain books ? might be worth lookng at Baby Whisperer ? I follow the sleep guidelines of the other book .

Have a 3 yr old too - so need to have a 'regular-ish routine. They grow so fast, I am just cherishing every moment (well, trying too !)

Yup, have been through all this...20 minute naps...won't settle....grizzles all day through tiredness..blah blah blah. Very stressful, and I too have spent whole days trying to settle dd. Eventually in desperation went to doctors where she screamed the place down.

What worked for me is "The Baby Whisperer" Not the routines particularly, but the methods of getting them to sleep. Incredibly helpful, I think I would have gone mad without it, and Hv of course was NO help.

Dd is now 5 months old, and sleeps well in day. She still wakes up early, but grizzles herself back to sleep after about 10 mins.

That book is GOD! However apparently it is also a developmental thing, and they improve as they get older.

Have to say, there are always loads of threads about this, perhaps babies who don't nap well during day should be part of ante natal classes. As for that crap "sleep when your baby sleeps", Pah!Can you get to sleep and wake up refreshed after 20 mins?It's ok if your baby naps for 2 solid hours.

Hope this helps and it should improve eventually..

Thanks - actually I started a thread about baby whisperer sleep methods. You can see how desparate I am!!!! I will begin on Monday when I am at home in the house alone and there is not the usual weekend chaos . Wish me luck

Yeah it took me about 2 weeks to sort ds, but improvement after 3 days.

I dedicated a whole fortnight to sorting her out. How sad is that?!

She still reverted to type all through fourth month unless I was on her case ALL THE TIME.

However is much much easier in 5th month..can put her down, exit rapidly and she goes to sleep.

That book should be taught in schools

fizz don't get me started on Hv. Mine suggested I feed ds ebm on a spoon! (He won't take a bottle). Another battle to fight... he is a determined little mite

cruisemum

my ds is nearly 1 now. he usually falls asleep in about half an hour for his last feed, about 7pm, altho tonight he didn't and had to be left to scream. In the end my dd, aged 11 managed to get him off by getting in the cot with him and passing him various toys and in the end he stopped crying and went to sleep. What an angel she is eh?

we have been doing the pushchair nap thing since he was about 5 months and he went on strike about naps in his cot in the day.

lyra - you got a ten yr age gap? Mine is nearly 9 yr. Lovely isn't it?