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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Headbanging toddler

13 replies

Smithagain · 06/12/2006 22:44

Has anyone out there dealt with a toddler who likes to bang their head on things?! My placid, sweet-tempered baby has turned into an intense little toddler. At the slightest frustration she literally throws herself down and bangs her forehead on the floor. Hard. Several times. And we have wooden floors.

I'm trying not to give it excessive attention, and I guess she wouldn't do it if it hurt too much. But it is worrying me a bit. She's developing a permanent bruise in the middle of her forehead for one thing!

She's only 15 months old and not understanding a lot that we say yet. How on earth can I persuade her that it's not a good idea?!

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Honestlyme · 07/12/2006 04:18

you can't really. my son is 17 months and he does it. apparently its a comfort thing, and apparently it has been linked to above average intelligence. i just tell myself it'll be fine cos he's going to be a genius.

mamama · 07/12/2006 04:24

My 15 month old has just started this too (and we also have wooden floors). Our dr said to ignore it and it'll stop. It's hard to do though because DS does it so hard. I do tend to think (& hope) that if it hurt him, he wouldn't do it.

Will just reassure myself that it is a passing phase and is only because he is a genius!

alibauble · 07/12/2006 04:29

My ds2 did it too. Then one day all of a sudden he stopped when he could talk. He spoke very early so he could tell me about what he wanted. I actually ignored it and when he was getting really bad told him that it was going to hurt him. I wouldn't worry at all it will stop.

Original poster

Smithagain · 07/12/2006 08:03

OK - lots of resolute ignoring, I guess. She isn't talking at all yet, so there is a general level of frustration, I guess.

It's bizarre how her older sister was such a high-need baby and then a placid toddler - then just when we think we know what we're going, this one is going completely the other way around!

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Papillon · 07/12/2006 08:06

Pick her up - especially if its a comfort thing thought that was more what stressed out people do to try and feel their pain on not just a mental level

Original poster

Smithagain · 07/12/2006 14:46

Interesting, Papillon. I don't think it's for comfort - more anger and frustration. And picking her up is like picking up a wiry, striking cobra at that particular moment. And painful, when she manages to make her skull and my collar bone collide

Although you've made me realise that it is often at the moments when I just HAVE to put her down to do something that requires two hands. Maybe I need to work on the way I do that - major distration tactics.

And all that without making her older sister feel like DD2 gets all the attention. Sigh - it's a complicated old business mothering, isn't it.

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Papillon · 07/12/2006 14:58

That sounds like a good idea - distraction is good. I am a great believer in giving alot of love - it seems to make them less volitile!

okeydokeygirl · 07/12/2006 23:34

My DD also does/did this. It prob started at about 14/15 months. We he have ceramic tiles and wooden floors downstairs and in the bathroom. She not only banged her head, but threw herself backward. She still does the latter but headbanging has all but stopped - I guess she learned it hurt. She is now 21 months. She still gets really frustrated with things/people and bites them. This is also a bit more controlled and she knows biting people is not acceptable but sometimes can't help herself. She has pretty much stopped throwing herself backward but will often lie down and have a bit of a paddy. This stems from me catching her as she threw herself and lying her down and leaving her to get on with it until she had calmed down. She also smacks herself in the face and head - has anyone else experienced this? Is this just the next stage and should I just ignore it like I did the headbanging? Most of the time she is really easy going so I don't get too freaked out but it is a bit disturbing now she has started smacking herself as i have not come across this before whereas I know lots of kids that do the headbanging thing.

okeydokeygirl · 07/12/2006 23:37

Oh no! Sorry Smithagain. I have just read the message that I posted and realised it could really freak you out if you think your DD is now going to progress onto biting and smacking himself. I really do know lots of kids that have headbanged and that all appears to completely usual and they do grow out of it really quickly. Really sorry if I have made you even more concerned.

Original poster

Smithagain · 08/12/2006 12:57

Don't worry Okeydokey - as a matter of fact, she does have a biting habit, which we are working on - and she regularly hits herself on the head with things. It seems to be her way of trying them out.

It was amusing when she went through a phase of carefully sticking food to her head at the end of a meal and holding out her hands for applause.

Maybe I just have a head-obsessed psycho for a daughter.

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poppiesinalinewithtinsel · 08/12/2006 13:06

DS1 did this. Started it at 11 months and it continued until he was about 2. He would head butt walls, floors, tables, people in his utter temper and frustration. It was horrid to watch but there was nothing I could do to stop him (just learnt very quickly not to get down to his head level!)

He is now nearly 10 and in the top group in most subjects at school.... is there a link??

merrylissiemas · 08/12/2006 13:15

ds does this all the bloody time he threw himself off the sofa onto a wooden floor

okeydokeygirl · 11/12/2006 13:50

It is really helpful to know that there are kids out there that do the same. Rather than hijack this thread, I might start a new one to see if anyone else has experienced their toddler hitting and biting themselves. Thanks everyone.

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