DS still pooing his pants at nearly 6 - what to do next?

[sleepychunky]

Hope someone can help - never thought I'd need to post something like this. DS2 is nearly 6 and still doesn't go to the toilet every time he needs a poo. He just does it in his pants and waits until somebody notices. We've tried to ask him why and his main reason seems to be that he's too busy doing something else (watching TV/ playing game/ whatever). We've tried rewarding him for telling us when he needs to go, we've tried withdrawing treats but nothing works long-term.
It's not that he doesn't know he needs to go, he just can't be bothered to tell anyone.
Don't really know what to do next so wondering if anybody has had the same thing. Am about to do bathtime and then have to go out so won't be back on the thread till later tonight, but if anybody has any experiences they could share, or any advice, I'd be really grateful. Thanks!

does he have a time of day when he is most likely to poo?
If its usually after tea or lunch for example then maybe try sitting him on the toilet at about the same time everyday and ask him to try for a poo.
You could bring his favourite book or something so he doesn't feel like he is missing anything.
Praise if he tries, hopefully it will become habit. Most people go around the same time everyday.

Thanks, I think it is normally after school-ish, but I work full-time so I'm not around at that time of day generally. I think I will have to ask whoever is looking after him (either MIL or my mum) to do that with him and hopefully it will become habit. Just really frustrating!

I have a DD who is a withholder who had chronic constipation so most likely different to your DS but you might find the ERIC website helpful.

A routine so that he is trying to do a poo at the same time everyday definitely worth trying. It should be a relaxed affair, with his feet on a step and let him do something he likes to do while sitting on the loo.

Good luck.

My ds would do this almost every day exactly the same as your ds he just couldn't be bothered to go the toilet. I tried ignoring it, rewards, telling him off it went on for years then 1 say he just said he wasn't going to do it anymore and he didn't. So no practical advice just the notion that it won't continue forever

Do have a look at the ERIC website for advice and support OP. Once you've done some reading, you might want to chat to your GP.

Another who was going to recommend the ERIC website.

Agree it has to be worth trying to create a habit of pooing at a usual time - after school seems as good as any.

DS can still have issues knowing when he needs to wee. He will get distracted while playing and will get a wet patch on his pants and run to the loo. We have heard the excuse that he was "too busy playing" or "forgot". I'm afraid I've not got any brilliant advice. All we did with DS was just persevered with reminding him about how important it was to pay attention to when he needed to go. It's improving slowly and is now only a minor problem.

Does the Paed say anything helpful?

Google encopresis.

Thanks all. I have been on ERIC's website already and have already done some of the things they suggested. I haven't spoken to GP about it as I didn't think it was anything medical, but if things don't improve over the next few weeks then I will.
ffffffedup glad I'm not the only one and your words are reassuring!
madwoman thanks for that link to encopresis. Instinctively I don't think it's constipation but a lot of what is on that page sounds familiar, so maybe it is worth talking to the GP.
Knew I could get some practical help, thanks as always

FWIW the Paeds advice for dealing with it as a psychological issue was all very common sense - make it low stress, offer rewards for progress etc. There was nothing more concrete she advised, just to persevere, which I know isn't very helpful!