tantrum over shoes

[HarrysMummy17]

Hi, I've just had a major meltdown from my ds 2.8y as I tried to put shoes on him so we could go out yo his toddler group.

I explained to him we'd be going yo toddlers, we'd see his friends , we'd pkay with the toys, we,d have juice and a snack.

He reluctantly got dressed but when I tried to put his shoes on he acted like I was torturing him.

They are new shoes. He likes his old shoes which are too small and are still damp from jumping in puddles (which I told him not to do!)

He kicked and screamed until he got the shoes off. I put them back on, he did the same and them hid them behind the sofa.

Any advice on what to do? Do I take him shopping to pick his own shoes he wants? He did pick the last pair which I've looked for in the next size up but I can't find.

If he wasn't with you when you bought them are you sure they fit properly? Might they hurt somewhere?

I would probably take him to toddlers in the pushchair with the shoes in my bag and just say that he can't walk outside without shoes on.

I wouldn't get new shoes after you've gotten these- he just needs to learn to accept them.

Maybe let him problem solve- "hmmm, playgroup is on and it would be so much fun to go and see all your friends, but we can't go without shoes.... Your old ones are wet.... What can we do to solve this??"

Oh leave it five minutes, do something else and then suddenly bring up playgroup. So exciting, let's go, shoes on, which teddy will you bring, list them all off when putting on shoes in breezy fashion.

I dunno. It's like playing hard to get all the time (which I never did while dating because really, who could be arsed?).

Being artfully nonchalant, "Shoes? Me? I really don't care if you wear them or not. Now where did I put my keys?"; making it all his idea, and then adding a distraction "Oh here are your shoes, you love them don't you, I agree they are brilliant. You have the best shoes. Ooh let's go to playgroup. I'll put them on you and you put on your hat-gosh-you-are-so-good-at-putting-your-hat-on" blah blah.

It is exhausting.

It's possible the could be uncomfortable. We've never has a problem with the brand before. When his feet were measured he was 7.5 and an 8. The shoes I'd brought were an 8.

Every time we get his feet measured he melts down. Won't let the sales assistant near him.

Diggum, I've tried that. I've tried distraction. Bribes. telling him I'm off to play without him and heading out of the door.

I don't think he even think he wants to go to toddlers. Since we attempted to put him in nursery 3 months ago he's started hating toddler groups, soft play etc. Paranoid I'm going to leave him.

It is probably worth trying to get a shoe shop to check them for you. If you can't do that, check his feet after he's been wearing them for red patches and have a good feel of them yourself to make sure they aren't too tight anywhere, there's plenty of room across the top and in the width and they don't slip up and down his heel as he walks.

If the upset is about the newness of them, getting another new pair cold just make things worse.

As long as you feel sure they aren't uncomfortable, keep acting as if you expect him to wear them quite happily and, at some point, he probably will.

My 3 year-old daughter has always had, and still has, crying/tantrum episodes every single day. it’s humiliating. Bedtime is so stressful EVERY DAY! And this is not the only time she is out of control.
I have tried it all; routine, stories, positive reinforcement, games, etc, etc., still, nothing works. We can't figure it out...we would appreciate your input...I'm all ears!!! Thanks!!

My baby is already 5 years old, but I can remember tantrum horror like it was yesterday. I had some advice from my mother; my favorite was time-outs...sparingly. Depending on the child, using a time-out occasionally, beginning at about the age of 18 months, may help her manage feelings better when she has a tantrum. A time-out can be helpful when your child's tantrum is especially intense and other techniques aren't working.
Placing your child in a quiet, or – better yet – boring spot for a brief period (about one minute per year of his age) can be a good lesson in self-soothing. Also there are videos online on how to talk with your toddler correctly. Most of them are rubbish, but few are gold. I found this one http : // bit.ly / 1iVEnOX helpful and this one is not bad too www.healthyfamilyhouse.com good luck!