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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How and when to tall a 4-5 year old that we're moving and changing school

10 replies

MrsBojangles · 05/12/2006 13:51

We'll be moving in February but haven't told dd yet. she's a bit sensitive at times when it comes to friends, though she's a very social sole so don't think she'll have problems finding new friends quickly.

She knows that in the long term (when she's 6 or 7) we will be moving to Australia ... that transpired because she wanted a cat and we told her when we're moving to oz then she can have one.

Just to throw a spanner in the works though we'll be relocating in the UK first for the next 2 years and then move...

Any suggestions on when and how to tell her though?

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zippitippitoes · 05/12/2006 13:55

I would wait until about 2 weeks beforehand or a bit sooner if she is going to see that you are obviously packing up..I think then you can adopt some strategies to help her feel she knows what is happening if you leave it till then rather than a long period of uncertainty and anxiety

Original poster

MrsBojangles · 05/12/2006 14:12

thanks for that zippi

was also planning on moving her during February 1/2 term with the 'cunning' plan to ask parents at the school where she'll get in (hopfully) to get in touch with us so we can have some play meets prior to her starting school so she knows some kids Does that sound like a good plan?

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ComeOyefaithfulVeneer · 05/12/2006 14:16

We are in a similar situation as you. DD (5 in Jan) started reception in Sept. We are moving in 2-3 weeks. She has known all along (she went with us to viewings etc) and she seems fairly ok with it. Things like choosing which will be her room and getting her involved has made it all that much easier (I found the same strategy worked when she was 3 and I was expecting ds).

zippitippitoes · 05/12/2006 14:17

that sounds a good idea

I wouldn't make too much of ahuge fuss over leaving like parties or anything..some photos is nice though

but make sure when you do pack that she has some of her things in the car eg a selection of toys, duvet, pillows bits and pieces to make it seem familiar at the other end

are you going a long way?

Original poster

MrsBojangles · 05/12/2006 14:22

Comoveneer I know you're moving you're joining the lot I'm leaving behind . We'll be renting and haven't been able to find a property for February to view yet But good idea on getting her involved.

Zippi thankfully dd isn't too attached too any of her toys so her duvet/pillow and a bag full of Barbie stuff and she'll be right. And ds (2.3) will be happy as long as he has his Thomas Trains to hold on to.

'Only' moving 40 miles west to a bit more rural area than West London

OP posts:

Furball · 05/12/2006 14:27

We moved last easter when ds was in reception. He came to all the viewings and we talked about which room he would like. We only looked at about 5 or 6 before we found the one. We moved about 8 miles away so not too far and I arranged with the new school for him to go in for a morning with me to have a look round, which worked well so he knew his class and classroom and what to expect. Thankfully he seems to have settled in well.

From our experience I would tell her and involve her and make it sound exciting, that she's getting a new room and she can hep choose the painnt/curtains whatever. Good Luck!

cece · 05/12/2006 14:28

We moved last year when dd was in reception. The main worry she had was that we were leaving all her toys etc behind for the new owners! Once she realsied we were taking our things with us she accepted it a lot more. Again the new bedroom and we painted her room fairly quickly after moving in so she felt at home. Luckily she has made some super new friends at school so that helped

Original poster

MrsBojangles · 05/12/2006 14:31

oh that all sounds very reassuring thank you

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webmum · 05/12/2006 19:50

we moved in the summer after dd's reception year.

We told her as soon as we were sure, as there was going to be a lot of talking about it anyway. We were also moving country so we made sure she knew what was going to happen. We visited the new school once, and we had her bedroom decorated a nice lilac (which she didn't ahve at the old house), and she loved it, she had all her things plus a few new ones. She too was worried we'd leave all her things behind!!

She wasn't happ about the move, and I'm happy we told her earl, so we had time to discuss everthing before it actually happened. I was quite worried as she had made it so clear that she wasn't happ, but in the end she settled very quickl and soon made friends at school. (which made things soo much easier!!)

good luck

Original poster

MrsBojangles · 05/12/2006 19:55

thanks webmum. dd is perfectly happy to move to Australia because 'then she can have a cat' . Might have to get her another hamster eh?

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