My child won't go to bed - Help!

[Ladyonashortfuse]

My DS, nearly 3, won't go to bed, even if he's tired, and mostly falls asleep on the sofa at about 10pm. He's practically asleep once we get home from nursery about 5.30, but then after supper and a bath he seems to get a second wind. I've tried the usual routine based solutions, bath, story, cuddle etc but to no avail. If I put him in his bed after that he'll just get straight up again and back into us, as many times as necessary until we give up. I'm sure he's not getting enough sleep and besides I would like an evening alone with DH now and then. I know we've probably made things worse by giving in but what now? Please can someone tell me something that works!

Recently I suggested to someone else to do the BATH earlier in the day. I sometimes think a bath stimulates a child, making sleep more difficult. I know conventional wisdom claims the bath 'relaxes', but we always bathed our DS earlier in the day, and bedtime was seldom an issue.

Agree with Ferguson, I use to do bath just before bed and without fail it always woke him up. We now have bath at 6-6.30, then pyjamas, back downstairs, milk and cookie, then cuddles on the sofa while watching In The Night Garden. The only thing he is allowed to get out is books, he always brings a book over for himself, me and his daddy! Then he is in bed at 7.30, he knows that when the song is played at the end of the bedtime hour on cbeebies it is time for him to go up, fingers crossed we haven't had an issue since he was about 6 months (he was 2 in Sept). Oh and he rarely naps now, but if he does I don't let him sleep past 3.30. xx

as many times as necessary until we give up

This is your problem.

If you ever give up, he will carry on doing it. Don't ever try to get your child to do something and then allow his persistence to push you into giving up.

You're rewarding him for getting up again. While he thinks you might do that, you have no chance of getting him to stay in bed.

I agree with Gold.
If my child pesters for sweets and I say no,no,no,no,no,no,no. Oh ok yes. They know I will cave.
Back to bed. Back to bed. Repeat.
Or just choose to co sleep.
Your choice.

Just expect to give up a few evenings for this. Do not go back downstairs, stay upstairs on the landing.

Every time he gets out of bed you return him, the first time you tell him it is time for bed, 2nd time you say bed, 3rd time onwards no talking, no eye contact just return, return, return.

It is a battle of wills and yours has to be stronger than his.

Ds2 was a very poorly baby and slept upright on me in the day until he was over 1 year old. He was also put into his cot very sleepy. He had severe reflux, was under the paed at the hospital and the upright sleeping massively helped, plus his cot was propped.

When I made the decision that he would be put into his cot awake for his night time sleep, I laid him back down over 120 times that first night. I sang Tom Petty I won't back down in my head. The second night it I laid him back down about 40 times, the 3rd night, 3 times.

You have to realise that you have to commit to it, short term pain for long term gain. Every time you return him remember you are doing this because he needs to be in bed and you need to spend an evening with your husband.

You may wish to reward him if he stays in bed with a reward sticker chart or a small gift from the bed fairy