Don't know where to go next

[fgr]

DS is nearly 4 and has speech delay but is making progress all the time. He has had assessments by a private salt arranged by the Nursery which is attached to a little prep school and she has always given guidance to the staff who have implemented an IEP which has worked well. There are some temper issues which the staff have handled with visual clues and he made good progress with the tantrums subsiding. The tantrums are not really a biggie at home, they are handled with a cuddle and sometimes pretending to cry myself followed with a teary sorry from DS and a cuddle.

The problem is now that DS had to move up to Kindergarten and it seems there has been no handover . Without me knowing has to eat lunch with the rest of the schools with just dinnerladies supervising who don't seem to have been briefed at all on how to deal with him. It has come to a head with him hitting a dinnerlady who tried to force him to eat his sandwich when he had enough and actually ended up gagging. I know he should not have done this but when the Kindergarten teacher called me in at pick up she was looking to me for solutions , all I could tell her how I deal with his tantrums at home and asking her if perhaps a Behavioural Specialist coupled with his Speech Therapist who is going to formally assess him in a few weeks. I am now at my wits end worrying as as I said earlier there has been no handover with his IEP etc and there seems to be no behaviour policy. I may be wrong but I would have thought at least the teacher might say this has happened, this is how we are going to tackle this. Instead she said she needs out side help as she does not know how to deal with him. I have no problem with this as of course I want DS sorted for his and his peers sake but am surprised at the lack of direction by the school. I might be asking too much or the sceptical in me thinks that the school has taken my money without thinking about whether that environment is suitable for DS. They do have extremely high expectations for little ones who are not due to start Reception for a year.

Sorry for the ramble x

This.

Ask them why there has been no handover.
Ask for a handover.
Ask them to rewrite his IEP to suit his new environment and learning/behavioural goals.
Ask them how they are going to ensure he is properly supported at break/lunch times.

As for the tantrums, do they/you know what triggers them? Working this out would be the first clue in how to tackle them.

As an aside, how was he forced to eat his sandwich? Please don't tell me someone forced it into his mouth

Thank you for the reply. I asked this morning if there had been a proper handover and the teacher was very cagey. They also knew nothing about the IEP so the dinnerladies have not been debriefed. The term started with his elder brother who is in Year 6 buddying him at break and lunchtimes which he was delighted to do but the Headmistress who barely knows him decided that he needed to be more independent so stopped that. I was furious but she has not had the decency to reply to my email.

The tantrums are triggered by him not getting his own way. I handle this at home by getting down to his level, pretending to cry if need be or we count to 10 and then I tell him what is going to happen and if appropriate he gets what he wants later or most of the time has forgotten anyway.

The sandwich im afraid was put to his lips and he took it and then gagged on it and was very upset. A few of the older children told me about it.

Thank you for the advice, I am going to ask for a meeting this afternoon. The way I feel now I just want him home with me until he has to go to school but he is happy there so will stick to my guns and get him sorted.