Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Baby stages/development books?

16 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 06/10/2015 10:15

Hello, I'm a first time mum. DS is 10weeks old and just wonderful. I am older (38) and don't know anyone at all with a small baby. I live rurally and groups are few and far between. One i have tried twice to attend has been canceled when i got there, another had just 3 toddlers there so no one in my position.

Anyway, we spend our days mostly on our own and I have no idea what to expect with regard to development, or what is age appropriate play/stimulation.

Can anyone recommend a good book that will give me an idea of when to expect certain stages and what i should be helping him with? I asked my HV and she said she didn't know of any. Sure there must be something?

Our days consist of waking up, feeding and change. Having a gurgly chat. He goes in his basket while i get ready - radio on and I speak/sing to him as i go. During the day we go out in the car to see my ponies and he goes in the sling while we are there for an hour or so. He goes on his play mat and kicks at bats at the hanging toys with his hands (mostly left hand) i get down with him and we chat again. Tummy time for a few minutes but he's not keen on it.

He goes in the bounce chair with me in the kitchen as i wash up etc, i bounce him as i go and he has wrist and ankle toys on. If he's unsettled he goes in the sling.

We do the usual going shopping/for lunch with friends a couple of times a week. He sleeps on my lap on a feeding cushion quite a bit as falls asleep feeding.

He has good head control, rolls onto his side front his back, or sometimes onto his back from his front, especially if he is laying over a rolled up blanket. He smiles a lot. :-)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Ferguson · 06/10/2015 18:59

He sounds like a very fortunate child! You are doing all the right things to keep him happy, well adjusted and intelligent.

Is Dad around? Are there any NCT groups, Surestart, or other baby/toddler activities in your rural area? If not, would you be in a position to consider running one, even if on a very small scale, or if only fortnightly?

That is brilliant he sees the ponies! Try to involve him with them for a long a time as you can spare. Our DS used to love to watch a tiny stream that ran through our village, and as neither of us were working at the time, he could watch it for as long as he wanted to.

Contrary to what many people might think, babies DO NOT need constant activity and stimulation, but periods of comparative quiet, relaxation and gentle bonding with a parent. Everything is still totally new for him, as he hasn't been out of the womb for very long, and he is still trying to make sense of the world.

Soft toys, a comforting blanket, and a bit later on Duplo bricks and animals (a farm set might be appropriate!) will probably be his favourite toys. Read to him as much as you can, maybe cloth-books that he can play with. A set of Beatrix Potter books may be enjoyed for years; when he is old enough perhaps he can visit the Lake District and see the real locations, many of which still exactly match the book illustrations.

You won't believe how quickly time will go by, and if you can, keep a journal or scrap book of his progress, which you can share with him in ten or twenty years' time! I (Dad) was learning to play the electronic organ when DS was born, and at a few months old he was 'playing' on it too. At two years, down on the floor, he pressed the bass pedals to go with my chords, and at four or five years he was playing his own tunes.

Regarding 'Baby Books', I think Penelope Leach is still one of the best; there may be more 'modern' books, but tiny babies don't need to be modern! This link tells you about her, and "Your Baby and Child" is her major book. Amazon is NOT always the cheapest place for books, and I often find The Book Depository cheaper for some titles, so shop around.

Come back if you have any specific queries, but it sounds like you are right on track!

Ferguson · 06/10/2015 19:05

Damn - Sorry, I didn't add the link:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penelope_Leach

puddingisgood · 06/10/2015 19:12

From birth to five years by Mary Sheridan is full of factual stuff, and useful if not a fancy read.

colleysmill · 06/10/2015 19:13

I came on to say Mary Sheridan too.

Sparrowlegs248 · 06/10/2015 22:16

Thanks, i will look into those books.

Thank you Ferguson We do read a bit, and funnily enough Beatrix Potter does feature quite a bit! I read a LOT myself and the house is full of books (and musical instruments!)

I feel like I'm winging it a bit though so would like a bit of a guide.

OP posts:
Sparrowlegs248 · 06/10/2015 22:20

His dad is here yes, but works long hours from a very early morning start.

There are groups but no nct ones that i know of and the ones that are available are milescapart and not great tbh. I did go to a breastfeeding group today though which was nice - he took a lot of notice of the other babies. And has been tired the rest of the day!

He already has his own pony. :-) Not bought specially but a very kind child friendly pony i just happened to have.........

OP posts:
comeagainforbigfudge · 07/10/2015 13:30

I don't have any books either. And I'm totally winging it as well Grin
I use this site and this one as a general idea of what to do/what to expect development wise.

We ff here. 5 bottles a day so every 3 hours we feeding. Then I put dd in bouncy chair for at least half an hour with this in front of her. Then it's mat time which includes tummy time.

I have very few toys for her just now. Mainly link of rings type things, a rattle ball that she grabs and tries to eat it doesn't fit her mouth ha ha ha and a few soft toys that have different materials/make crinkly noises.

Anyway, nap time is a battle here. Invariably I end up out walking with her to help her sleep. But we also do lots of her sitting on my lap with me copying her noises, or me making random noises at her! And reading books.

Oh and my dd mainly used her left hand but has gradually discovered she has TWO hands and is now mainly using her right. So funny watching her staring at her hands hee hee hee

I'm not sure if that helps you? I haven't been to any baby classes as yet. Although I'm going to a baby massage one starting this week Grin.

P's. Lucky boy already having his own pony Wink

Sparrowlegs248 · 07/10/2015 14:44

Thanks comeagain it does help. I'm not a big fan of classes really but think i would find them helpful. I have put my name down for baby massage and have found a group in the nearest town so will give that a try too.

Its useful to know what others do. How old is your Dd?

OP posts:
comeagainforbigfudge · 07/10/2015 16:27

She's 16 weeks old.

I've just introduced a cup and a spoon to play with now that she's starting to pick up and drop all her toys/dummy etc

I was talking to my hv today about my lack of toys for dd and she commented on how some babies have so many toys that they are over stimulated.

Maybe see if your library does bounce and rhyme type things?

Also if you are on fb, see if there is a local to you mummy page? Grin

Sparrowlegs248 · 09/10/2015 09:31

Cup and spoon are a great idea - we have one big of toys mostly second hand from a friend. We were bought a couple of new things but have bought nothing ourselves, what he has seems plenty. Although not a lot he can grab so will get the cup and spoon out.

I have a baby sensory class too so am looking into that.
.Sure Father Christmas will rectify the 'lack' of toys. :-)

OP posts:
comeagainforbigfudge · 09/10/2015 09:58

I'm trying to find a baby sensory class too! Also expecting santa to bring many many toys! Grin

I picked up one of these from tesco though. Brilliant buy. Shake it at her to distract when crying, then she started picking it up and tries to eat it and now she picks it up and drops/throws it Grin

I also, believe it or not, leave a blanket or muslin over her chest and she stares at it, picks at it, scratches it and basically seems mesmerised by it! Grin

Sparrowlegs248 · 09/10/2015 20:30

Funny you say that, DS wears a bib (reflux.....) and has started getting hold of it, pulling it to his mouth. :-)

OP posts:
fifthcupofcoffee · 09/10/2015 20:37

Hello Nottalotta.
You sound like you're doing brilliantly and giving your baby a wonderful start. I'm currently doing it all again with DS2, having sworn never to look at a baby book again after DS1. I wanted to say that you should trust your instincts and just keep going until you encounter a specific problem. I found with DS1 I read too much and was I've overwhelmed and depressed when my baby wasn't like the ones in the books. Now 4, I neednt have worried about him and I wish I'd trusted myself more. It is worth finding some more human contact, but this isn't like work or study- reading doesn't necessarily provide any answers.

Sparrowlegs248 · 09/10/2015 20:48

Thanks fifth. The HV asked me at his 6 week visit if he would hold a toy if i. offered it to him. It hadn't actually occurred to me to offer him a toy at that stage! It made me think I could do with a bit of a guide, and i do like a book.

OP posts:
jessplussomeonenew · 09/10/2015 20:50

I really liked this list of games to play each week - didn't do them all by any means but gave me lots of ideas: www.babycentre.co.uk/c25004199/baby-games

backtowork2015 · 09/10/2015 21:23

Sounds like he's having a lovely time! I always liked "what to expect the first year" very good for milestones and advice

New posts on this thread. Refresh page