Really worried about soon to be 3 yo

[De88ie]

I've been struggling with DS2 now for 6 months or so. He has not developed his speech hardly at all, with about 10 words he uses all the time, but his behaviour now is causing me more cause for concern. I've heard lots of 'my son didn't talk until 3 or 3&1/2' mums, but his tantrums now can get so out of hand, when he won't indicate what he wants. He can say juice when i ask him too, (well 50% of the time) but will stand in front of the fridge and have a proper meltdown, if i don't prompt him with 'juice ??' his eating is so limited, i can't go round shops without him having a tantrum, even for 5 minutes. He does play at home, but can be so destructive, throwing toys and breaking his older brothers lego models... I so don't want him to have ASD, but everytime i get thinking about him, i'm sure he's on the spectrum.. Just looking for some glimmer that he WILL grow out of it. Has anyone else had this and can offer some advice please ??? TIA

If he's nearly 3 with only 10 words, I'd probably be contacting a Health Advisor or the GP. It's quite possible that the tantrums are related to him being frustrated he can't communicate.

My DD was a "late speaker", her nursery recommended that we take her for an assessment if she still had no words by the time she hit 2. She went from no words to speaking in sentences in a matter of weeks around the time she turned 2, but I was given the impression that 2 was a sort of "cut off" for speech.

It can't hurt to speak to a professional about it, and if he needs help he will get it - or you'll be reassured that it's all a normal part of growing up. It sounds really hard and I'd be looking for help if I were in your position

Thanks RNBrie, should have mentioned we're under the health visitor and speech therapist for his speech. It has improved slightly in the last 6 months, when he had 3 or 4 words. Just wondering if there was anyone else with similar symptoms. I know the frustration could be speech related but the destructive behaviour and other tantrums ...

Mine had tantrums at exactly the same age - couple of months before she turned three to a couple of months after - but they weren't every day affairs - probably one or two times a week max. They were wild and uncontrollable but I never felt they were "abnormal" so I probably can't help you. Hopefully this will have bumped your thread into Active though and someone with better experience will come along!!

That kind of frustration and anger could well stem from a communication difficulty. It must be difficult for him to play with his older brother if he finds it hard to talk… Does he understand what you say? What's his other non-verbal communication like?

Other signs of ASD at this age would most likely (but not always) include difficulties with reciprocal or shared interaction, and lack of imaginative play. You say he does play, which is a good sign. Have you noticed any repetitive behaviour? How does he interact with other children. My ds was diagnosed with ASD when he was 3.6, but it was never really a language issue with him - the signs were much more around lack of imaginative play and little/no interaction with others. Delayed speech alone isn't necessarily a sign of ASD, but some of the behaviour that stems from it (e.g. tantrums) can sometimes look a bit like ASD symptoms.

Obviously no-one can diagnose over the internet! But, without the other signs of ASD (google 'triad of impairments ASD') speech delay alone is something a bit different - and if it is that, the good news is that there is every chance he will catch up with support.

What kind of support do you have from the SLT service?

I would go back to GP though and push for more assessment, and support.

Thanks all, and thanks bialystockandbloom you've reminded me that his play and interaction on the whole is good, he does play with DS1 well, if a little destructive, but they share toys fairly well. He is also good at play group on the whole, quite happy to play with others when they approach him. I've got an appointment with the speech therapist in a week or so and will note down things to go through with her. I know early diagnosis is the best if he is on the spectrum, so will try and approach it with an open mind. Thanks all x

Thanks all, and thanks bialystockandbloom you've reminded me that his play and interaction on the whole is good, he does play with DS1 well, if a little destructive, but they share toys fairly well. He is also good at play group on the whole, quite happy to play with others when they approach him. I've got an appointment with the speech therapist in a week or so and will note down things to go through with her. I know early diagnosis is the best if he is on the spectrum, so will try and approach it with an open mind. Thanks all x